1. Buying clothes from the junior section. Stop being a skank
2. Forgetting her parents’ birthdays. An all time scum bag move, they gave you birthday presents for 25 years straight, get them something, anything.
3. Making out with her BFFs at bars for attention.
5. Filling her bed with stuffed animals (really, even one is too many).
6. Carrying a torch for anyone she hasn’t seen in the last five years.
7. Rebelling against her parents for the sake of rebelling against her parents. Get a face tattoo they will really hate that.
8. Declaring an entire gender “all jerks.” Ever think your the problem psycho.
9. Holding a grudge against anyone who wronged her in high school. Grow up you sound pathetic.
10. Skipping regular gyno exams.
11. Going to bed without washing and moisturizing her face. The catchers mit face of yours aint getting any younger.
12. Being “that person” who had a bit too much to drink at the office party.
13. Crushing on Justin Bieber. He’s like 8 it’s illegal and not cute.
14. Thinking she’s got it all figured out. Your god like plan isn’t impressive when your still unemployed.
15. Calling her father “daddy.” I just want to right hook girls when they use “daddy”
16. Engaging in sibling rivalry.
17. Trying to get by on her looks. Unless your Megan Fox it doesn’t work anymore. News flash you don’t look like her.
18. Living paycheck to paycheck.
19. Expecting a man/knight in shining armor to swoop in and save her.
20. Aimlessly jumping from job to job. McDonald’s to Burger King to Wendy’s isn’t a good career path.
21. Using MySpace to pick up guys.
22. Expecting a man to do all the wooing.
23. Wishing she had someone else’s life.
24. Expecting everyone to drop everything because it’s her birthday …
25. … or because her “boyfriend” of two weeks dumped her.
26. Measuring her self-worth by a number on the scale.
27. Being cheap.
28. Quitting a job without having a new one lined up first (especially in this economy!).
29. Blaming her mother for all her issues.
30. Romanticizing her college days.