Our mothers always told us, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Well, what if you do have something nice to say, but that something nice was just a bunch of regurgitated bulls–t? Maybe it’s best if you still hold back and not say anything at all. Some of them date so far back that we don’t even know what they mean anymore. So, why do we keep using them? If you’re considering using one of the following clichés to encourage someone, you might want to think twice or you could end up with a mouthful of knuckle.
7 “What Goes Around, Comes Around”
Your girlfriend just dumped you for another guy. Your a–hole co-worker just got the promotion you worked your ass off for. The guy that cut you off made the green light and you got stuck at the red. But it’s okay, cause they’ll get theirs….eventually. When in reality, they probably won’t. And even if they do, you probably won’t be around to witness it. We can also thank Justin Timberlake and his repetitive lyrics for breathing new life into this cliché. It’s easy to convince everyone that gets screwed over that retribution will be coming their way when you’re making 20 million dollars off of it.
6 “Good Things Come To Those Who Wait”
When something bad happens to you, there’s nothing more frustrating than someone telling you “good things come to those who wait”– especially because it’s not actually true. For example, we waited two long years for a sequel to Iron Man and what we got was definitely not that good. Just kind of “eh”. So, It seems that “Eh things come to those who wait”.
5 “Piece of Cake” and “Easy As Pie”
I lumped these two together because, for some reason, we always resort to pastries when trying to explain how simple something is. But making either of these desserts is not an easy task. It’s a giant pain in the ass. Next time you want to tell someone how easy it is to do something, use the brand new cliché “opening and consuming a bag of potato chips”.
3 “Work Like A Dog”
When was the last time you saw a dog do anything but lay around, eat some kibble, scratch his butt on the pavement, or lick its own ass? The next time you’re thinking of letting a hardworking friend know that they “work like a dog”, you might want to reconsider. You pretty much just told your buddy who works exhausting 60-hour weeks that he has a preference for drinking out of the toilet and dripping it all over the floor.
2 “Don’t Look A Gift Horse in the Mouth”
Okay, this saying is just ridiculous. A “gift horse” sounds like something straight out of The Neverending Story. Have you seen a horse’s mouth? I don’t care if the gift is a half naked Miranda Kerr…I would never go near that thing, so I don’t need you to tell me not to.
1 “Gave It The Old College Try”
Most of college is spent partying, drinking, vomiting from drinking, drinking some more, sleeping, and half-assing your way through any schoolwork that gets in the way of drinking, vomiting, and sleeping. So when someone tells you, “you gave it the old college try”, you have every reason to be offended. Feel free to punch them in the face.