1. I don’t know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
2. I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
3. Every phone should have the same charger.
4. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
5. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
The rest of the ruminations to be pondered over are found below, enjoy
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Every bar bathroom should have a cupholder.
8. It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
10. I don’t write on your facebook wall so you can comment on it. I write on your wall so you will write back on mine and make me seem more popular. Work with me here.
11. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “i have nothing else to say”.
12. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
13. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.
14. I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
15. My GPS says “Estimated Arrival Time.” I see “Time to Beat.”