So America is pretty bad ass as we all know, you don’t give us extra cheese on our hamburger and we’re going to bomb the shit out of you. So since we are running out of cities to decimate on Earth we decided to get intergalactic and bomb the moon. A NASA spacecraft bombed the South Pole of the Moon today in the hope of discovering water on the lunar surface. NASA’s “L-CROSS” mission involved the successful use of an unmanned rocket and a satellite. That satellite will soon transmit live TV images and scientific data back to Earth. The rocket slammed into a crater of the moon at 7:30 a.m. (EST). Scientists are hoping that this will cause a plume of rocks and dust and possibly ice to come flying off the moon. NASA officials said their instruments were working, but the planned live photos were missing. So as of now there is no pictures showing exactly what happened probably because something very wrong happened or absolutly nothing happened. Either way chill out America, who gives a shit if theres water on the moon.
Here is 17 year old Kobe Bryant going between his legs and dunking at the Gym Rat Midnight Madness High School Showcase in 1995. Bryant pulls off this dunk in a GAME less than a year after Isaiah Rider made it a signature dunk in the NBA dunk contest the year before. Kobe Bryant went on to play his senior campaign at Lower Merion High School and was drafted 13th overall by the Charlotte Hornets. Soon after, Jerry West, general manager of the Los Angeles Lakers, traded his starting center, Vlade Divac, to the Hornets in exchange for Bryant’s draft rights. Since he was still 17 at the time of the draft, his parents had to cosign his contract with the Lakers until he was able to sign his own when he turned 18 before the season began. It turned out to be a pretty decent move by West.
Darth is a bad man for using Luke Skywalker’s chopped off hand as his girlfriend, but Arnold still is the baddest.
Since we are going to have to watch douche bag Mark Sanchez play in New York for the next 15 years, I think we should get acquainted with his lady friend. Introducing Jennifer Mueller, the type of girl I would crawl through 5 miles of broken glass just to sniff the car seat she was sitting in last week. Jennifer isn’t just the typical free loading Hollywood arm candy either. Mueller ran the 200 and 400 in high school and earned all-state and all-league honors. Then she went on to run for athletics powerhouse USC, where she met Sanchez. With the amount of good looking people that attend USC I’m starting to think it doesn’t even exist as an actual university. It’s just one of those fake Hollywood colleges where everyone is 27, all drive 1960′s muscle cars, routinely break out in choreographed dances, and never actually go to class. Anyway here’s some more pictures of Jennifer being a normal college student, totally rad.
A freebord is more or less a skateboard designed to act as a snowboard. They have 6 wheels, two spring locked castor wheels on the central axis, and four slightly raised conventional wheels. The central wheels are able to turn in any directions which enables the rider to make cuts and carve as if they were snowboarding. The central wheels thus mimic the deck of the snowboard, while the outer wheels mimic the two steel edges.
Since the start of the freebord they have become a lot more lighter and more maneuverable, to capture better and more realistic “snowboarding experience”. This gives the crazed snowboarder something to do during those summers when they are itching for snow fall again. Need to stop? Just edge in and slide to a stop, just like you do in snow. All you need is a hill and some pavement. You can purchase your own at Freebord Inc. for $210-$340 depending on the model.
I don’t know what goes through people’s minds when they are getting something drawn on their body that’s going to be there forever. You would think they would have a little bit more concern on how it’s going to look, but maybe these people wanted exactly what they got, in that case thanks for giving me a good laugh today. It’s hard to pick a favorite but the bald cat with sad eyes and open mouth, with a red pepper in his mouth, but obviously suppose to be a tongue, gets me every time. I also like the pre-schooler who drew the side profile of a T-Rex doing the mashed potato with a crown on. Then you have the biker crushing a thousand beers next to his motorcycle with a zombie hooker in the back yelling at him. Either way idiots around the world, keep getting these rad tattoos for the good of everyone’s humor.
One of the cooler advertisements I’ve seen in a while, Lamborghini puts in perspective how crazy it is to actually own the new Lamborghini Reventon Roadster, as seen above. The Lamborghini Reventon Roadster, a convertible version of the famed Italian marque’s most coveted creation, has seen its price increase just a few weeks after it was unveiled at the Frankfurt Auto Show. Lamborghini announced that fewer than 20 and perhaps as little as 10 examples of the topless supercar would be built, priced at about $1.5 million. As with the original Reventon, however, it is thought that the limited edition Roadsters were quickly snapped up, and at least one early purchaser is already looking to turn a profit: a Reventon Roadster has now been listed for sale in Berlin via global online luxury marketplace JamesList for $2.1 million. The car’s 6.5 liter V12 engine pumps out 670 hp and can do 0 – 100 kph (62 mph) in just 3.4 seconds with a top speed of 205 mph.
We wouldn’t be going too far out on a limb if we proposed that beer improves just about any situation, even running a marathon. Much to our chagrin though, beer isn’t always allowed in every setting, at least if you’re the rule-following type and don’t live in Montana. But as the saying goes, where there’s a will there’s a way, and, thanks to the rocket scientists over at Cooler Fun LLC, the Beer Belly is your freedom pass to hops-inspired levity, anytime, anywhere. Designed to be hidden under clothing, the beer belly consists of a 80oz wide-mouthed bladder and a neoprene, skin-toned sling. Simply put it on, fill it up, and throw concerns for personal image out the window along with a small component of self respect – from there you’re good to go. So forget waiting on those long lines, we found a solution for you.(You can buy it here.)
James Kuhn is an American artist who creates incredible face paintings using his own face as a canvas. The 46-year old artist is halfway through his project to create a design for his face every day for a year, which he began in March after he was snowed in by 12 inches of snow and had to miss work.
James got the inspiration from photo exhibitions of a picture a day. His 365 creations range from cartoon characters and animals to his favorite foods. “I really have become totally obsessed with face painting and I think about what I can do next all the time.” James says on his blog. The artist says the worst part is painting the inside of his nostrils, as he ends up spitting them for hours. He says he’s been an artist all his life, and even drew pictures in his oatmeal as a child. I’m still not sure if Kuhn’s is a genius, or just bat shit crazy. Either way, his art is pretty incredible, and original to say the least. Watch this video of more of his art work. (click here for his 365 day project.)
BONUS: I had to add this clip because honestly it freaks me out.
10. How Many Sexual Partners You’ve Really Had
Of course your proud of how many chicks you’ve bagged in your day, you’re ugly as sin. But when your girl asks you how many partners you’ve had, it’s not smart to go into detail with all the drunken hook-ups and one night stands. It’s routine to talk about this with your buddies, but when your girl asks you this question, try to cut the number down by at least 5, because she is going to tack on 10 to whatever you say anyway. No matter how cool your girl is, if you tell her you’ve slept with 85 girls she is going to always think your a dirty man.
9.Where Your Money Really Goes
It’s always a a mystery to a girl when you tell her how much you make a year and then when you go out to eat you direct her not to even look at the seafood page. Don’t tell your girl that you just bought the new Madden for $60, or two tickets to the Giants game for $300. When you start telling her about all the dumb shit your buying she is going to expect you to start buying her things. So keep your purchase of that throwback John Stockton jersey a secret.
8. Parental Dependancy
It’s not a bad thing when mom helps you with a bill here and there. It is a bad thing when she is paying your rent, car payment, cellphone, and credit cards and you tell your girl about it. You think its cute telling her your mom is so sweet and she helps you out, which is the cutest I get it. When your girl hears this though, all she thinks about is how big of a loser you are that you can’t pay your bills on your own. She then starts thinking “How is this idiot going to support me when he can’t support himself.” Be smart, don’t tell your girl about the $50 dollar allowance your mom still gives you.
7. Your Weakness and Fears
Women are demons sent from below to rip your heart out and destroy you mentally. So when you tell your sweet heart that you’re claustrophobic and scared to fly, at the first sign of weakness she will stuff you in a box and put you on a flight to Cambodia. When you let your girl know what scares you she will use that against you. So play the Ironman role and make sure she knows that nothing scares you, YOU HAVE NO WEAKNESS.
6. Bathroom Activities
It’s always funny to rip a little fart here and there, maybe a dutch oven at times. What isn’t funny is when you always announce to your girl you just blasted diarrhea all over the bathroom walls. There is no need to give a play by play on how your shit came out every time. You might get a chuckle here and there and it’s good that you feel that comfortable with your girl, but newsflash guys, girl’s think all that is disgusting no matter what. So when everyday she gets a run down on your bowel movements she is going to get turned off by you real quick.
5. Your Friend’s Moral Shortcomings
This is a major mistake many guy’s make. They think their girl is one of the guys, and you tell them the story about your married friend Ron who got a blowjob in an Atlantic City bathroom stall by a prostitute and busted all over her face. Which is a golden story to you and your guy friends, it is the opposite to your girl. Do you think she she is going to be excited when you tell her you’re just going out for drinks with Ron, a guy who cheats on his wife and gets blowjobs from prostitutes? When you tell your lady about your friends disgusting, but hilarious, moral shortcomings, you’re really just cutting yourself off from hanging out with them without her.
4. Your Masturbation Routine
Masturbation, it’s a normal thing and guys do it all the time, regardless if you have a girlfriend or not. What you do not need to do is let your girl know about how many times you tug the ole jimmy. When you let your girl know you spank it 2 times a day she will immediately feel inadequate, and think she is not pleasing you sexually. I could be getting laid by Megan Fox daily and I’m still going to crank one out from time to time, it’s science, but I’m not going to let Megan know, no no, to her I haven’t masturbated the whole time we’re together, and that kids, is positive lying.
3. Your Cheating Past
Most guy’s have cheated on a girlfriend at some point in their life, maybe just a drunk make out at a frat party, or maybe Brazilian prostitutes every Tuesday and Thursday at the Clarion hotel room 305 at 8:00 after work (I swear this isn’t what I used to do when we were together Michelle…..not). Anyway the point is those two circumstances are the same in a woman’s mind, cheating is cheating. So when you break the news to your girlfriend that your past 10 relationships ended because you got caught cheating, it’s not going to sit well with your girl, no matter how much you say you changed. You know the golden saying, “Once a cheater always a cheater.” So turn the tables and say those relationships ended because you always got cheated on, that will get you some sympathy points.
2. Your Ex-Girlfriend Memorabilia
99% of the cool shit you have is from ex-girlfriends, because Christmas and birthdays you really just tell them what you want and they get it for you, pretty nice concept. One thing that is not cool though is when you let your girl know all the things from ex-girlfriends. “See that flat screen T.V., this Rolex, and this German Shepard, yea my ex-girlfriend got me all this, she was awesome.” Now every time your girl walks into your apartment she is constantly thinking you still care about your ex, or else you would get rid of the stuff she got you. So don’t be an idiot unless you want your T.V., Rolex, and dog on the side of the road waiting to be picked up by the garbage man.
1. Ex-Girlfriend Memories
Would you like to hear about everything that reminds your girl of her ex-boyfriend. Absolutely not, so when something reminds you of your ex keep that shit to yourself, this is America god damn it, you gotta bottle that shit up. If you keep telling your ex memories to your girl she will think you’re still hung up on her. She will then wonder why you aren’t still with her if she was so great. Then you will have to tell her that you told your ex you used to be a cheater, spent all your money on video games, and made her look at your toilet bowl accomplishments. Connecting the dots?