Taking a piss at a urinal can be a very awkward experience if you get an old creepy weirdo for a neighbor. The common law is just stare straight ahead at the concrete blocks with an occasional look down, zip up, and get the hell out of there. Now personally I’m not one of those pee shy kind of guys and I can care less about how crowded or exposed the stalls are, I’m there to do one thing and one thing only. Some guys get really up tight when in a public bathroom, I don’t know why. There are some guys that get all tough ass and don’t like to even hear words spoken in the bathroom. Because of those guys I started being a real asshole in public bathrooms in order to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible, and to also get a good laugh when I break out of there. Here are 20 things you can do to make things real awkward, real fast, but pure comedy for you and your buddies.

1. “Your stream seems kind of weak, maybe you should get your prostate checked.”

2. Pinch your nose real exaggerated like, and exclaim, “God damn, these blood clots stink. Can you smell them over there? Smells like barbecue sauce and vomit.”

3. “Hey, nice cock buddy.”

4. “I wonder what my sister is up to right now?”

5. “Oh it BURNS, my God in heaven how it BURNS.”

6. Piss in the urinal right next to the only guy in the bathroom, especially when there is 10 other open urinals.

(more…)

Joe Cocker is an American rock singer who is famous for such cover songs as “With A Little Help From My Friends” by the Beatles. In 1969 Cocker sang that song at Woodstock and I don’t know for sure if he was on drugs, but he did not sing the same words in the original version of that song, not even close. What’s even more ridiculous is how everyone watching this was just bobbing their head really digging what he was saying, clearly also on drugs. Either way check out this hilarious illustrated translation of his live performance.

Favorite Line: “Lordddd I know your a guy, put on this turban.”

A mere nine years after Zoolander opened to mixed reviews and modest box-office Ben Stiller and the gang are re-upping for another adventure in male modeling. Nikki Finke of Deadline Hollywood is reporting that actor turned writer-director Justin Theroux will direct and co-write the script for Zoolander 2 with Stiller. The two recently collaborated on the screenplay for Tropic Thunder. According to the article, Jonah Hill is currently in negotiations to play the villain. Yay? All the same, let the Zoolander quoting commence! WHAT IS THIS A CENTER FOR ANTS!

The work above is the perfect example of two truths: that things are not always what they seem and more metaphorically, that sometimes we have to view things in a different light to discover a new meaning. If this sounds too cryptic, just marvel over how these artists breathe new life into simple, wall-mounted cut-outs by providing them with an interesting shadow. If minimalism isn’t your thing then you can take in the “piling up a bunch of junk” style to create shadows as seen further below. I guess my wolf hand puppet isn’t going to cut it anymore at New York art shows.

(more…)

Braunlage isn’t one of Germany’s busiest towns, but last Saturday, authorities had to cope with serious logistics problems, caused by the annual Naked Sled Race held on the local slope. Over 14,000 people traveled to Braunlage to see 30 participants take off their clothes before venturing down the snowy slopes, on red and black sleds. A national radio station sponsored the offbeat competition, won by 26-year-old Christian Schimdt. As you can see by the pictures, some of Germany’s hottest chicks participated in the event, but the crowd favorite of the day wasn’t a hot babe, it was a 70-year-old man who stripped down and raced down the 100-meter course, along with his younger competitors. How sweet are my censoring skills, I rule at Microsoft Paint.

(more…)

Isn’t it always really awkward when you mistake someone for one of your friends or vice versa. It is just a really embarrassing moment that you usually just smile and walk away as fast as possible looking like an idiot. Well what if not just one person mistook you for someone else, but the whole bar did, and they started giving you gifts because they thought they were there for your birthday. The happy-scene-causing crew at Improv Everywhere has done it again. This time they gave a complete stranger the best birthday night of his life, cue Happy Birthday Ted!

The result of a mad scientist’s experiment involving a 911, a Prius, and the front end of a Ferrari F430, the Porsche 918 Spyder ($TBA) is a new plug-in hybrid concept borrowing bits of all three. A 500hp V8 mid-mounted motor is paired with two electric motors — one for each axle — giving the open two-seat 918 a total of 718hp, good for a 0-62 time of 3.2 seconds, a top-end speed of 198 mph, and yet, amazingly, the possibility for 78 mpg fuel economy. A seven-speed PDK transmission, a carbon-fiber-reinforced plastic body, powerful brakes, a bevy of driving modes, and that prancing horse-inspired front end round out this eco-enthusiast’s dream ride.

(more…)

I’m not the biggest fan of OK Go but I have to admit they have quickly become the masters of the music video. Their first music video for the song “Here it goes again” was a massive hit on the internet that shot them into fame. They came out with a few other videos before releasing “This too shall pass” which is also a creative and amazing video. They did another video for that song that was filmed in a two story warehouse, in the Echo Park neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA. The “machine” was designed and built by the band, along with members of Synn Labs over the course of several months. The official video for “This Too Shall Pass” is off of the album “Of the Blue Colour of the Sky”.

I think it’s safe to say that everyone thinks ninjas are awesome. There is something about them that everyone loves including me. The only problem with ninjas is that you never know when they are going to creep up behind you in broad day light and snap your neck. What’s even worse is there is no stopping them ending your life even if you knew it was coming. There are only certain circumstances when ninjas can’t catch you, here they are. If you don’t fall under any of these categories your pretty much fucked if ninjas are coming after you, sorry.

(more…)