Go is a semi-autobiographical novel by John Clellon Holmes that is considered by many to be the first novel setting off the Beat Generation. Set in New York City, the book dipicts the lives of Holmes and his friends who used to inhabit the underworld of the city. Drug fuled parties, all night drinking bindges, free spirited sex, writting, reading, and searching for their meaning and place in the world is the main theme of the book, as seen through the eyes of Paul Hobbes. Hobbes is torn between his wife Katherine, who works to support his dream of becoming a published author, and his new eccentric friends, who somehow make him realize that there is more to life than what is on the surface.

Hobbes’ character is one who is fascinated with his new friends outlook on everything, but he manages to keep a certain distance from becoming completly engulfed in their lifestyle. This distance sometimes angers his new friends, but not because it bothers them, but because they want Hobbes to really “be in it”. To let go without worry. The main characters in the book follow the same outline as do many of the Beat Generation works, giving real people, fictional names.

Paul Hobbes (John Clellon Holmes) two best friends in the book are Gene Pasternak (Jack Kerouac) and David Stofsky (Allen Ginsberg). Stofsky is always rambling, thinking, and trying to figure everyone out. He has visions of William Blake, the English poet, painter, and printmaker, and even has dreams of talking directly to God. Gene Pasternak is a good friend to Hobbes, who regularly sleeps on his couch to avoid the long commute back to his house on Long Island. Through these two wild characters, he meets the most beloved Beat Generation figure of all, Hart Kennedy (Neal Cassady). Hart is the wildest of wildmen. He practically invented the phrase GO. During parties, or poems, or outrages, Hart would yell GO GO GO GO! Not to antagonize, but as a sign of approval, a sign that people must not act as they have been programmed, but to act as if no rules apply to them. He knew that life was short, and you only get one chance to make the absolute most of it.

This book is filled with adventures, lessons, meaning, and situations that make you reflect on your own life, and it is still relevant 57 years after it was first published. This book to me represents what many of the other Beat books do, a feeling of being free. The characters who were at the core of the Beat Generation had a vision of life that was different from what the rest of society saw. They were not afraid to act different, to think different, and to be different. They expressed their thoughts, feelings, and emotions in a way that I only wish I was brave enough to do myself, and their journies have prooved to be a great inspiration to the many generations that followed.

“I actually yearn for life to be easy, magic, full of love.”

It was to Holmes that Kerouac once said, “You know, this is really a beat generation.”

The most beloved childrens book of all time has finally made its way to the big screen, and it will be directed by non other than Spike Jonze. I love this tag team because Spike is just an all around cool guy. He has directed the movies Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, a ton of skate videos, commericals, music videos, and is also the co creator of Jackass, co owner of Girl Skateboards, and co creator/owner of Dirt magazine. That sounds like a pretty good resume to me. But taking on the challenge of Wild Things is a hefty one to say the least. This is a book that most every child at some point has come across, and fell in love with. Our new President Obama even read it at the White House Easter Egg hunt, addding, it was one of his favorite books growing up.

Where the Wild Things Are is a story of a young boy, Max, who is sent to his room without dinner, for chasing the dog around the house, with a fork, while sporting a wolf costume. That actually sounds heroic to me, but im not a parent, and I really like wolves, so my oppinion might be somewhat scued. Anyway, after being sent to his room without dinner, Maxs’ room begins to turn into a wild jungle. After exploring his new land, he comes across the inhabitants who are Wild Things or Monsters. The Wild Things are fearsome-looking monsters, but Max conquers them “by staring into their yellow eyes without blinking once,” and he is made “the King of all Wild Things.” However, he soon finds himself lonely and homesick, and he returns home to his bedroom, where he finds his supper waiting for him, still hot.

It is important to note that this book is only 10 sentences long. 10!! With that being said, it should come as no suprise that this book was open to a lot of interpritation. According to the know all be all source that is Wikipedia, Francis Spufford suggests that the book is “one of the very few picture books to make an entirely deliberate, and beautiful, use of the psychoanalytic story of anger. I guess this guy is trying to say that Max was so vexed at the idea of going to bed without his dinner, he imagined a land where he could conquer even the most intimidating and dangerous creatures one can imagine. Either way, the trailor looks amazing, Im stoked, and Obama has already invited me to a early screening at the White House. What can I say, thats what happens when your a lead author for Zoot Patrol, the mightiest and most dominating internet blog in the land. I also cheated the system and voted for Obama 323 times, so that probably means something to the guy too.

Its that time of year again, the magical month of March where companies lose a predicted 1 billion dollas in productivity due to the madness that is the NCAA tournament. 65 teams are selected to square off in a winner take all show down that is filled with heartbreaks, triumphs, upsets, Cinderellas, heros, zeros, and everything in between.

Then beauty of the NCAA college basketball tournament is that even schools who are not national power houses can get the nod. They can win their conference tournament, and get an automatic bid. This is important to remember when comparing the NCAA basketball tournament to something like the BCS football championship. Take Boise State for example. They can go undefeated, win every game by 100 points, and still never be considered for a National Title shot. Now I realize that this might be a little extream especially when you consider the level of competition that the different leagues play on, and also when noting that a #16 seed has NEVER won a game in the NCAA tourny. But the pure fact that they are able to be apart of something as amazing as March Madness is what makes college basketball, and the NCAA tourny something that is unmatched in all of sports.

But what if the brackets were expanded? Why stop with Cinderella teams like George Mason, or Davidson. Im sure there is another Stephen Curry out there, just waiting to wear that glass slipper. The guys from The Onion Network threw out some intersting points, and some sleepers we never thought could make noise in the big dance. Time to seperate the Pretenders from the Contenders!

NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

I just finished reading Ham on Rye, by Charles Bukowski, and holy shit, Im happy I didn’t know this guy during his teenage years. His hard upbringing and constant struggles with kids at school turn him into a brawling alcoholic, who is quick to take on anyone who looks at him the wrong way. The book basically chronicles his life through from the time he started school, until he finally decides to drop out after only a year of community college. Along the way, he has to deal with an abusive father, who is never satisfied with anything, and takes pleasure in giving his son daily beatings. Also, he seems to be cursed with the worst skin of all time, making him feel like he isn’t even a part of society. He has absolutely no shot with the much prettier, much more middle and upper class girls he goes to school with, and he seems to always find himself toe to toe with the toughest guys in town. Eventually, he goes out on his own, but by this time, his drinking has become so bad, he fights all of his “friends” and can not find steady income. He tends to always talk about being with girls, as if he wishes it was possible, but he feels that there is no way a women would be interested in him.

When I started reading this book, I felt bad for young Henry (Bukowski’s alter ego in the book). His father set standards that he knew he would never reach. He sent him to school in a rich district, because he wanted other people to think that their family was well off, which it wasn’t. His father has lost his job during the depression, and instead of asking for help, he got in his car every morning, and pretended to go to work. He was too proud to ask anyone for a hand out. He held Henry to the same standards, always yelling at him, and calling him a loser, a lazy bum, someone who wants nothing. He was picked on at school, and in order to be able to show his face, he took to being a tough guy. This behavior was constant throughout the book. It started out as him defending himself, but soon grew to him not knowing when to keep his mouth shut. He had grown so cold to the world that he had no interest in being liked by others, and he let everyone know it.

At first, I liked it. I thought, “man, this kid has something that I don’t. The ability to really get in someone’s face when he feels taken advantage of.” It was almost inspiring in a weird kind of way. But as the book wore on, I started to wonder what the hell his problem was. He was fighting his own friends all of the time, and it seemed that most of the conversations he would have with strangers would start out “you know I can take you right?”. He based everything he would do on being a tough guy. He felt that after all he has been through, all the times he had been kicked into the dirt by life, the only thing he could do, and do well, was fight.

He could drink like a fish, and thats what I liked the most about him. He would get so fall down drunk he would throw up in his sleep. He would smoke many packs of logans a night, and almost always down more than 1 bottle of whiskey, wine, a case of beer, whatever he could afford. There is one part in the book where he meets a new group of kids. They seem like they are bad. Bank robbers, small time theives. He liked them. They had a drinking contest, in which Henry won. Along the way of course he almost fought 2 of his new drinking buddies, but ended the night 80 dollars richer. After leaving the house, the whiskey hit him all at once. He couldnt stand or walk. He opened the back door of a random car, hung out for a bit, puked all over the floor, and eventually made his way home. Other than rare occasions like this, he did most of his drinking alone. This part I liked because he was secure with himself, and his thoughts. Thats not to say he liked everything that he had become, but he enjoyed his own company, and thats important. If you cant be happy with yourself, all by yourself, then you cant be happy with other people. His drinking did make for some very memorable parts of the book, but it was also undoubtably leading to his downfall. It doesnt take a genius to figure out that when you blow all of your rent money on booze, nothing good is going to come of it.

Charles Bukowski has written more than 45 books of poetry and prose, including many popular novels. He is kind of a mans man, who wont take shit from anyone. He wants to smoke, drink, screw, and hate the world, and it was refreshing to read something that wasnt all rainbows and sunshine.

Trivia: A young, much less ugly Micky Rourke played Bukowski in the 1987 movie Barfly. Check it out.

I have always been a fan of rating things. I like to call out my favorites, and let people know why. Last week I picked my top 5 fantasy basketballers from movieland, and drafted one unstoppable squad. This week, I will try and top that feat by mocking up another draft.

Tomorrow I will be entering a flip cup tournament in Hoboken, NJ. For those of you who dont know what flip cup is, stop reading, put your head down, and sprint full speed into a urinal. You are a loser. Flip cup, also know as boat races, is when 2 teams line up, with an equal amount of players, on opposite sides of a table. Each person has a cup with an equal amount of beer. Someone says go, and the person at the end of the table drinks their beer as fast as possible, then tries to flip the cup, using the tips of his fingers, until it lands upside down. When it does, the next guy can go, and so on and so forth until the last person has finish. My squad tomorrow is solid, and I expect nothing short of taking first and heading to Baltimore Maryland for the world series of Flip cup, but I got to thinking, how can my squad be even stronger. The following are my top 5 draft picks for my fantasy drinking squad.

Coming in at number one, is without a doubt, my main man, The Young Einstein, played by Yahoo Serious. Lets get real for a second. If I am putting together a team, whos sole responsibility and number on objective is to drink beer, and to do it fast, Im going to want the guy who fucking invented beer on my team. Young Einstein worked day and night to split an atom, and in the process, created the recipe for beer. So this is an obvious no brainer for me, this dude has been putting away the suds for litterally longer than anyone else in history, so he has a clear cut advantage, and his tolerance has to be extreamly high, which puts him at a huge advantage in the later rounds. Ohh yeah, he also invented Rock N Roll. Which will also come in handy when we take down the crown.

“Lets chug beers and shred the guitar”

My next pick is the most important. With Einstein leading off the team, and acting as captain, I need a henchman, a foot soilder, a warrior. I need someone whos entire attitude is murk beers, all day, every day, and let everything else work itself out. We all have that one friend who never knows when to quit. Who pounds beers until they are 100% blacked out, but still manage to muster up the energy to crack another cold one. With the second pick in this draft, I pick Bluto from Animal House. Does anymore really need to be said? This guy is every college students idol. His entire life revolved around beers, and for that, he is our 2nd round foot soilder. This guy will go to war with a 30 pack, and either come out on top, or die trying, and thats all I can ask of our team.

“fuck music, lets turbo murk beers”

The third spot in the line up is tricky. You need someone who is calm, but also has the ability to turn it on if we are down. The obvious selction for the third spot in our line up is non other than The Dude. I know what your thinking, The Dude drinks white russians, not beers. But hold on a second. Think about what you are saying. The Dude drinks vodka and milk, Im sure he can handle a few mouth fulls of beer. His attitude makes him the perfect middleman for our team. He is calm enough to not be rattled if we are a bit behind, but he possesses the alcoholic gene with allows him to turn it on and up and any given moment. We salute you Dude.

DUDE!!!

Next is the gamble pick. Willie, from Bad Santa is such a drunk he cant even manage to get to work and play Santa for the kids. He gets so tuned up, he cant stand the look a fake Donkey is giving him, and so he does what any self respecting drunk would do, destroy it and its Donkey friend in a matter of seconds. Id also like to point out that his friend the midget, Marcus will be acting as team coach. He drops some amazing lines at the end of this clip. He will certainly be an advantage, as he will undoubtably be getting into the heads of our comp.

“In case you havent noticed, im 3 feet mother fuckin tall”

Rounding out the roster for Team Wolf Den/Shark Tank is the one and only Drugs Delanie. Drugs hails from Providence, RI, and for anyone on the East coast, you know what a shithole that place is. If you grow in in Providence, you better be good at partying, or the wolves will get you. Drugs’ main strength is in the drugs (obviously) but he is known to get cocked on a bottle of blackberry brandy. Drugs takes the roll of anchor because he is everything that you can ask for in a team player. Focuses entirly on getting the job done. Drafting drugs is also a bit of a gamble because he is know to sometimes take his drug use to the extream. He has also been dead for sometime, so expecting him to contribute right away is a long shot. He will most likly turn it on in the later rounds, so dont expect him to pull out any close ones that come down to the wire. With the rest of the team operating as one unit, I dont see Drugs having anything less that at least a 2 person lead going into the final cup.

“Whats your problem Delainy?”
” IM TOTALLY FUCKED, MANNNN”

Wish us luck, Wolf Den/ Shark tank will be doing its best to win the Hoboken leg of the circuit and in doing so, will be on their way to Charm City to take on the best the East Coast has to offer. I will report back next week with our final standing, and an update on how the newly drafted Shark members did in their first outting as a unit.

Growing up an athlete, and a super fine one at that, I have always been a fan of sports movies. Especially ones with heros that are quiet underdogs. This morning, I got to thinking, If I was to comprise an allstar team of the greatest sports movies athletes, who would I want on my squad. Alot of things come into play. Size, speed, determination, work ethic, and of course, the ability to be showtime at any given moment.

Going first round, without a doubt in my mind is Earl “The Goat” Manigault. Hailing from Harlem, this kid was born with the kind of toughness that can not be taught. At 6’1, he is a sleeper, but get him in the open court, and its showtime all day everyday. Legend has it he could pick dollar bills off the top of the backboard, and make change on the way down. This would account for a 60+ inch vert, which is pretty unreal when you think about it. He was famous for his double dunk which I can’t even imagine a modern day baller pulling off. What also makes the Goat a solid draft choice is he was never blinded by the light of fame, only the Heroin. He passed on roughly 75 big time scholerships, to ill in his old hood and hustle for drugs. He still goes number 1 because I think having that kinda of un tamed edge is important to build a squad around, and its comforting to know that he can not be compromised by big time agents.

Coming in at number 2 is undoubably the one and only Teenwolf. I base this pick based purely on intimidation factor. The Wolf has an appearance that has never been seen before on the hardwood. He tends to beast out and his eyes turn red when he gets in the zone, surely a daunting task for any defender. The Wolf is a little rough around the edges, and still needs to understand the concept of team ball, but with help, him and The Goat make up one unstoppable backcourt, also it keeps with animal nicknames, which is kinda cool.

Dog groom this suckkaaa

With the backcourt set, I turn my attention to the Center position. When trying to look for the skills needed to fill this roll, I look for 3 main factors. Size, Power, and Touch. 1 player comes to mind. Neon Boudreaux. Standing 7 foot 1, and coming in at roughly 300 pounds, there hasnt been a force like him, ever. Found in the deep Louisianna swamps, the only way to see Neon dominate the local competition is to take a boat into the unknown. After walking into the barn/basketball court, it is clear why Neon goes as the #1 big man. He attacks the basket with a furry never seen before, and seems to only be interested in one thing, punishing the goal. His main set back is that his brain has developed to that of an 8 year old. His SAT scores are so low he is not eligable for college ball, which is unreal based on the fact you get 500 points for spelling your name correctly. Ill give him a pass though, because spelling French last names is always a challenge. BUt lets face facts, were not building rockets, were dominating the hardwood, and for that, Neon gets an A+

I didnt know you spoke spanish

Now, on to the forwards. What more can be said about the position, you need it all. The ability to rebound, block shots, box out, score, assist, and mix it up with the likes of other truck like men who are only interested in inflicting pain on you in the trenches. This is where Saleh, from The Air up There comes in. Coming straight out of Africa, this guy has more raw talent than Neon. He plays on dirt courts, with no shoes, and is uninfluenced by the outside world. He also knows a thing or two about coming through in the cluth. In Africa, they play for more than a winning record, or money, they gamble entire towns. Think about that. If you fuck up, your whole town gets taken over by some outsiders. Try that on for size. But this is the kind of pressure Saleh revels in, and with the support of his new bff, Jimmy Dolan, the sky is the limit for this kid.

“pay attention hippo-breath”

Completing the squad is non other than Tommy Shepherd. Also hailing from the mecca of basketball, this small forward came equipt with all of the skills needed to make him an grade A bluechip. He could shoot, power you down low, and even run the break. Drafting him is a bit of a gamble, based on the fact he is a little unstable mentally. He watched his best friend Nutso fall 10 stories to his death when he slapped the backboard, broke it, and went over the edge. 2 questions about this. 1) Where are there basketball hoops on building roof tops, and 2) how fucking strong was this Nutso character. To BREAK a backboard by slapping it? WOW. If he was still alive, he would finalize the roster, but hes not, so Shep gets the nod. He seems to come around after mentoring the troubled Kyle Watson, and with the Goat on the team, im sure Shep will have his hands full mentoring that drug riddled addict back to health.

“Its more then a game to the Shep”

Turn on your radio, and tune into your local hip hop (shitty rap) station, and listen for a minute. If you have any real sense of musical taste, you will be acting like Alex from Clockwork Orange, after he is “reformed” of violence. Todays music is something to get sick over, and if you are a hip hop fan from the mid 90′s and earlier, you probably constantly feel like your ears are bleeding when your forced to listen to the radio. The main problem is that its hard to pin point exactly when and where things got so shitty. Was it when rappers started to use that funny mic shit? Was it when everyone wanted to be Jiggy? Maybe it was when rappers stopped filming videos in apartment stair wells, and started shooting them in the front seat of Lamborginis and Phantoms. Theres probably a million different things your can attribute it to, but honestly, the main factor, undoubtably has to be….college kids and college parties. Hear me out. I am not crazy. I dont think.

Think back on your greatest college party memories. If they are anything like mine they go something like this. Tons of middleclass white kids, a heap of cheap alcohol, and super loud rap music to get things live. When your in college, what else do you really care about other than getting drunk, hitting on girls, and jamming to loud upbeat tunes. When party rap hit the scene and became huge, it was engulfed by college students who could give two shits about the lyrics, but were only concerned with how good the beat was. Rappers didnt even care about the lyrics. They started just throwing stuff together, knowing it didnt matter. Example.

” You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub, momma I got what you need if you into taking drugs, Im into having sex, I aint into making love, so come give mea hug if your into gettin rubbed”

What the fuck?

So lets recap real quick. Rapper from Southside Jamaica Queens, whos been lit up with 9 gun shot wounds, is rapping about giving people hugs, while at the same time admitting he isnt about that soft love making, but would rather opt for the hardcore animal fucking. Contradiction? Fuck it, the beat was hot 50!

How about this one?

Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (When I’m in need)
But she ain’t messin’ wit no broke Niggaz (She steal me money)
Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (When I’m in need)
But she ain’t messin’ wit no broke Niggaz(I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go ‘head

Who wrote this? It seems like its an argument between 2 80 year old black dudes in the south during the turn of the century.

What tends to happen is that people start to like these songs based strictly on the memories that they are associated with. People like shitty rap music, because it reminds them of the time in college they funneled 5 beers consecutively, pumped that hot new Nelly album, puked, rallied, did shots, fingered a chick in the hallway, and woke up covered in Elios pizza. By all accounts, you have to chalk that up as a solid night, but does an entire genre of music have to suffer because rappers started to make party albums?

I cant really call it. Ill just do my part to support good hip hop while occasionally sneaking in the time to pound beers and freestyle with friends over a Weezy beat. Fuck it. Im only human. YA HEARDDD.

After you graduate college and move into the real world, things start to get blurry. At first, the feeling of having a job and getting paid a steady check is something very rewarding. You feel like you have accomplished something, and have joined the ranks of the everyday stiffs who help our country move forward (or recently, backward). You even have lofty dreams of moving up the corporate ladder and taking on the world. Thats a good goal, and certainly an even better attitude, but thats not what you REALLY want.

What you really want is to do something you love. To wake up everyday like your 5 years old and its Christmas morning. To feel like your not only making a difference in the world, but in your life. The main goal for every person should not be how much money you amass during your life time, but how many smiles and personal triumphs you accomplish along the way. People need to realize what turns them on. What makes them tick, and run with it. If you live your life as a dreamer, all you will ever be is just that. You need to find your passion and grab it, hold it tight, and realize thats why you are alive. It bothers me when I hear someone wishing for Friday, or complaining about it being Monday. You slowly realize that the more Fridays you wish for, the more weeks you are casting away as unmemorable. The main purpose of living is to look at everything around you, everyday, and find happiness in it. To find things that make you feel more alive and grateful that you have a chance to experience them. I read a quote from a dude who made his dream come true, by shredding everyday.

“Work harder and smarter than the next guy. Be open to any and all challenges that come your way. Strive to make other peoples lives easier, not your own. Believe in what you do, and do what you believe. Be prepared for anything. Hold yourself to the highest standards imaginable in every aspect of your life. Be kind to everyone you encounter, and remember that the joy is in the journey. Each time you get to where you want to be, a new destinations will entice you, so you better be ENJOYING THE RIDE. ”

This song makes me grateful for my friends. It reminds me that we all have the same passions in life, and we all really want the same thing. To be happy, to shred, to laugh, and to live.

With Myspace and Facebook only growing in popularity, it’s no suprise that teenagers all over the country and world have taken this new online sensation to the next level. It is being used as a free dating service, which is cool if you meet someone normal and cool, but bad if you end up getting raped in the butt. This 18 year old girl comes home from meeting some dirty magoot on Myspace, and her only defense is “BUT IM 18!!!!” Well good for you hoe. Maybe now since you are “18″, you can dip out of your parents house, support yourself, pay bills, buy food, and rent an apartment. Give this video a chance, you wont be sad.