Douchebags Holding Money

18 Jun 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Nothing says “hardcore thug” more than putting on your cool face and flashing some bills for the camera. Honestly, we were reluctant to make this post because we feared it will make people realize they look stupid when they do this shit, and honestly, it’s pretty funny. So if you are one of those ‘flash money for the camera’ tards, please continue doing what you’re doing. I will bet none of these idiots have an actual job or money for that matter so keep pimpin playas.


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Worst Drinks In America

17 Jun 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

The roundup of the worst beverages in America is pretty amazingly disgusting. This list from user Shareitfitness unfortunately puts into perspective how bad for you some of your favorite drinks are. Prepare to be disgusted because this kind of sugar intake in one little drink can’t be healthy and we all know you have had all of these beverages.

Worst Water – Snapple Agave Melon Antioxidant Water

Sugar Equivalent: 2 Good Humor Chocolate Éclair Bars

Worst Bottled Tea – SoBe Green Tea


Sugar Equivalent: 4 slices Sara Lee Cherry Pie
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Top 5 Instances Of Kanye West Getting Owned

16 Jun 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Now let me start with saying I really like Kanye’s music. He is one of the few minds in hip-hop who is still creative and evolving the music industry. With that said he is a complete douche in all other aspects. I don’t like talking shit about celebs because I would probably be acting the same way if I had millions of dollars and access to every party in the world with no repercussions. But when you act like an ass clown 24/7 and have no respect for anyone else, it’s always fun to see that person get worked in one way or another. We here at Zoot put together 5 times where Kanye has got owned by the competition, from Mos Def to President Obama, enjoy.

5. Swizz Beats Owns Kanye at Hot97 Summer Jam
It was over when Swizzy dropped the “Ruff Ryders Anthem”. It was actually over before it started really. I always liked Kanye beats, but when you put them in New York against Swizz Beatz, that’s the all-time set up of the beginning of getting owned.


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Top 10 Things To Not Do On The Computer When Drunk

15 Jun 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Coming home drunk and then go online can bring you lots of fun, but also lots of problems second day. This is our top 10 list of things you should avoid doing on Internet if you are drunk.

1. Respond to anything work-related
No matter how capable you think you are, just don’t do it. Any mistake will be instantly explained by the 4am reply time. Besides, alcohol breeds carelessness, and ending an email to an attractive co-worker with a pun on how she’s good at “every job there is” with a winky-face is definitely not a good idea.

2. Chat with family members
Just because your weird step-uncle Dale just got off work from the recycling plant does not mean that it’s the perfect time to organize that trip to insect museum he’s always been bugging you about. This will come back to haunt you in the form of a doorbell ring at 6am the following Sunday.

3. Change your password
Of all the things to forget about the previous night, the fact that your email’s new password is “burgerkingroxxx6969” is one of the most costly.
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The Best Cop Mash Up Of All Time.

14 Jun 2010, written by Riz 0 Comments

There is nothing I like more than the show Cops. Honestly, every time I watch it, it just makes me feel a little better about my self. I may not have that much money stashed away in the bank, I might work at a regular, semi boring job, and I may be single, but at least Im not blowing dudes in the ally for Newport 100′s. Cops somehow manages to always find the lowest of the low, doing things from down right crazy, to just plain idiotic. Sometimes I feel a little bad when I am watching it and judging these poor souls. Then I think to myself, “dont feel bad, that guy just stole his grandmas car and then smashed it into the front window of the local pet store because he was high on some homemade chemical concoction”. This is the best of the best. POP IT JOHNNNNYYY!!!!! (props to anyone who gets that)

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What Happens When BP Spills Coffee?

13 Jun 2010, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 Comments

Props to the Upright Citizens Brigade on this sketch. But in case you have lost track of what’s been happening in the Gulf or are just looking for the latest summary of the past 2 months events, this gives a pretty good yet funny snapshot.  If you’re feeling compelled to do something and aren’t ready to quit driving your car, below is an article I found with some links and summaries of organizations where you can get involved.

http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/army-of-volunteers-needed-for-gulf-oil-spill-cleanup

-this would of been a 10 times funny with fake British accents.

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18 Peices Of Unconventional Wisdom

11 Jun 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

2. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

3. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

4. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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Miserable People Of The Stock Market

11 Jun 2010, written by Revelation 2 Comments

So we have a good friend as well as an avid reader of zoot known as “the kid himself”. He is a stock broker on Wall Street so we get to hear the ups and downs he endures every day. The fact of the matter is you are going to lose money if you invest in stocks. Sooner or later, it’s bound to happen. In fact, it may have happened already and you don’t recognize it because losses can take several different forms. AKA you might not lose your money, but you will lose your hair, about 20 years of your life stressing, and probably your house and kids. So in other words let me take this moment to say invest your money with The Kid Himself, your money is safe with him :) Here is a collection of people who just got royally fucked in the stock market and have come to the realization that they just flushed their life down the tubes.


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EARTHQUAKE WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 Jun 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

I’m not even going to go into writing something on this kid, just watch, it will be the best thing you see all day. All I will say is it will be really creepy if there is a mega earthquake on the west coast in September.

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Wax On, Fuck OFF!

10 Jun 2010, written by Riz 2 Comments

With the release of the Karate Kid remake all set to come out this summer, the original bad boy from Newark, Daniel Larusso realizes just how far from grace he has fallen. Once the #1 heart throb in America, Ralph Macchio is now a 48 year old has been. His friends and family do everything in their power to convince him that his nice guy act can only get him so far, and he goes on a mission to change his reputation from pretty boy push over, to a bad ass crane kicking mother fucker.

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