What Sport Has The Hottest Chicks – Top 8
09 Sep 2009, written by Revelation 8 Comments8. Cheerleading
Not even fair.
Is cheerleading a sport? That is a question that will be debated for eternity, with every guy saying no, and every girl saying yes. To be a cheerleader you have to have an 8 or better face, skinny, always smiling, and the ability to do full out splits like Jean-Claude Van Damme. What this results in is that every single cheerleader in professional sports is hot, which should make cheerleading the clear winner. But hold the phone, since I’m a guy, and I do not consider cheerleading a sport, they have major points deducted and fall to number 8. Understand though when I talk to females about this subject I am the number one supporter of cheerleading being a sport, every guy does it, deal with it.
Sport Spokesman: The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.
Sue Bird
7. Basketball
Women’s basketball is a sport? Yea I guess it is, and it’s always a plus when you can get the same thrill of a WNBA game by going to your local gym and watch 5th graders shoot hoops (I’m just kidding of course ladies). One good thing about woman’s basketball is they are in great physical shape, except for a few 5’9″ 285 lb. power forwards here and there. They get points for their long legs and toned bodies, not to mention the ability to talk basketball with a female is sexy in itself. On the contrary they loose major points for not wearing makeup, sweating like horses, and the inability to dunk basketballs like Vince Carter. (Do horses even sweat?)
Sport Spokesman: Sue Bird
6. MMA
Gina Carano
If this list was made up by just ranking the hottest female athletes then Gina Carano would probably be number one for me. Not only is she ridiculously hot, she can also beat the ever loving shit out of you. But since this list is for the sport as a whole, hot girls in MMA stops with Carano. So although Gina Carano alone brings MMA to the number 6 spot, the 67,294,879 other bulldogs put a damper on the sport’s hotness.
Sport’s Only Spokesman: Gina Carano
Natalie Gulbis
5. Golf
Golf is a club-and-ball sport made cool by the hot chicks that play it. It’s unbelievable how a hot chick can make a sport so much more interesting. You can go from having to watch an 80 year old man dressed in a yellow plaid jumpsuit gasping for air, to a cute young babe rocking a tiny white skirt showing her butt cheek every time she swings the club. They get huge points for playing a sport you can drink beers and smoke cigars while playing. Although ugly monsters are very rare in Golf, the overall look of the sport is rather average, take more risks next year Golf, draft some Playboy models.
Sport Spokesman: Natalie Gulbis
4. Soccer
Heather Mitts
Soccer chicks are probably the most athletic on this list, and the most tomboy too, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Girls who play soccer can defiantly hang with the guys in competitive sporting events and can look hot doing it too. Thanks to Brandi Chastain the whole world knows what it looks like when a soccer chick rips her shirt off and is ready to go to work(if you know what I mean), everyone say thanks Brandi. On the contrary some soccer players are just a little too into their sports and their look shows it. Some of these girls look like enlarged 12 year old boys with clip on pony tails who can run a 4.2 second 40 yard dash, sorry not my cup of tea. But as a whole thumbs up soccer.
Sport Spokesman: Heather Mitts
Jennie Finch
3. Softball
You know you can always catch a few hot girls at a softball game, it’s science. A major plus for softball is that they sport tight white pants and bend over in front of you the whole game, I’m not complaining. Next time you are flicking through the channels and a college softball game is on stay tuned, especially if it’s Arizona or Arizona State. Check out there rosters, it’s practically the Miss Arizona Pageant contestant list. Of course softball cant ever climb higher than 3rd because of that damn 400 pound Alaskan on every team who belts homeruns like Albert Pujols, stupid Alaskans.
Sport Spokesman: Jennie Finch (Played for U. of Arizona)
Maria Sharapova
2. Tennis
Where do I start with tennis, let’s start with their attire. The color of choice is white, which is good, and they also like to wear mini skirts, that’s a combination I enjoy. I also enjoy hearing the players scream sex moans for 4 hours straight. It really is ridiculous but these women are practically climaxing all match long, and making sure the whole world hears them. Another cool thing I like about tennis is that it is as much a sport as a way into modeling. Tennis is really just a sport filled with aspiring hot models who can give two shits about actually playing tennis, i.e. Anna Kournikova. As much as I wanted to give tennis the number one spot, I couldn’t stop thinking of the Williams’ sister’s jacked up biceps.
Sport Spokesman: Maria Sharapova
Ana Paula Mancino
1.Volleyball
Volleyball has some unbelievable girls and they are wearing a bikini the whole time, doesn’t even seem fair. Not only are they wearing bikini’s, but once the game starts moving those bikini bottoms quickly turn into thongs. Another great attribute to girl’s volleyball is that camera focusing on players ass’s is accepted. It is accepted because the player up front flashes a play using their fingers and does it right in front of their butt’s to shield the other team from seeing. So in conclusion, volleyball girls are all skinny, all tan, all oiled up, and all wearing bikinis equipped with thongs, how can volleyball not be number one.
Sport Spokesman: Ana Paula Mancino
I'm looking at what play she's calling, I swear.
Durex Ads Make Wearing a Condom Fun.
02 Sep 2009, written by Riz 1 CommentsIf you ask anyone in the design or advertising world, they will tell you that some clients are more fun to work with than others. Getting commisioned to work on a carpet cleaner is not nearly as fun as working on an ad for condoms or sex products. There’s so much potential to make easy, tasteless jokes, condom advertising requires a more delicate touch and great ads should make us think a little bit harder before rewarding us with the punch line. When it comes to this reward, no one really does it quite as well as Durex.
Daily Links 9/1/2009
01 Sep 2009, written by Revelation 1 Comments
Probably watching 1 guy 1 horse
Millionaire Fail, Loser Deserved It
Awesome Fire Alarm Jam Session
Introducing Bro Franklin, haha
Trick Shot Mastery – B.Manley – WOW
Quick History of Weed, Interesting
I’m On A Boat A Capella
Psycho Forgets Boyfriend is in Europe
650 Million Years In 1:20 min
Trailer of the Day: It Might Get Loud
Song of the Day: Owl City – Fireflies
Daily Links 08/28/2009
27 Aug 2009, written by Revelation 0 Comments
Bad Ass Movie Trailers:
Ong-Bak 2, second installment of a Thai boxer kicking ass
Thirst, finally a cool looking vampire movie.
Ninja Assassin, a ninja getting revenge, fair enough.
The Book of Eli, the new Denzel Washington movie.
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Songs of the Day
Money Money Money – Dollar Bill Art
26 Aug 2009, written by Revelation 1 Comments
During these economical times people will eat horse kidneys and swim with starving sharks for a dollar. On top of that what does a dollar really get you these days anyway, a half a pint of gas and the middle finger. So unless your Mark Wagner the mighty dollar just isn’t doing it for you anymore. Wagner is a Brooklyn based artist who transforms the use of a dollar from spending to an art tool. Wagner uses nothing but the one dollar bill to create jaw dropping master pieces that are truly amazing. The dollar bill really is an under-rated piece of art itself if you look at the detail on both sides. I immediately start creating my own one dollar bill master piece until I got three dollar bills deep and ran out of money, damn recession.
I could easily put up every single piece of Mark Wagner’s art and it wouldn’t get old. Instead though I will give you his website where you can see mo money no problem, check him out at www.smokeinmydreams.com
Money Money Money – Dollar Bill Art Part 2
After I wrote the piece above I stumbled across some other interesting dollar art. It is nothing spectacular by any means, but very clever. I will, and I suggest you do the same, be drawing these on every one dollar bill I receive from now on. Hopefully one day I’ll open my wallet and find 8 Spidermans, 4 George afros, and a Leather Face.
1964 Afro Puff George
Batman George Washington, better than Clooney’s attempt
Hay-Zues, Jesus George W.
O.K. these are just getting rediculous now.
Planet of the Georges
Simple, yet very effective Pirtate George
Scream Washington
And my favorite, Spider-George. Just think if you got change back from your mourning coffee and the clerk handed you this bad boy back, tell me that wouldn’t make your week.
The Revolution is HERE.
19 Aug 2009, written by Riz 0 CommentsSocial Media is nothing new to our generation. In fact, I would bet that many people that use Social Media don’t even realize how, or how often they are being targeted based strictly on what they put in their profiles. Next time you are on Gmail, check out the right side of the page. It is filled with ads based on what is writen in your emails. We no longer have to search for information, because it will find us whether we like it or not. This video is filled with mind boggling information about Social Media, and it just goes to show that it is not the fad that many people in the marketing world thought that it would be. It is here to stay, and the youth of America is here to help it thrive.
“[The youth] can steer you in the right direction.” – Freddie Laker, director of digital strategy for Sapient
The Best Dancer In The World
11 Aug 2009, written by Revelation 3 CommentsNo description really needed but feast your eyes on the greatest dancer to ever live on planet Earth. If you aren’t feeling his moves your brain must not be advanced enough to understand the sheer energy coming off his soul. If he alone wasn’t enough, his clone holds it down hard in the background. If your going to spend 2 and a half minutes doing anything in your life it must be to watch this incredible dance session. At 0:59 seconds he drops the fucking hammer so hard for a short period the Earth’s rotation stops.
For an honorary mention of an awesome showcase of dance skill and determination see video below. See how a dance party is really started
EA Games Comic Con: Sex Driven Promo Stunt and the Dumb Media.
28 Jul 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 CommentsEA has a slick marketing team. Now I’m not a gamer by any means and no expert. I play some wii golf from time to time but thats the extent, though I wish I had the time to dedicate because some the games out there just seem badass. EA Games is catching a lot of “heat” lately because of a marketing contest they put behind their new game “Dante’s Inferno”. The contest basically asked show-goers of last weeks Comic Con in Portland to “commit acts of lust” with show models. The rules were simple, best pic with a show model and you won a night out of the town with more hot models. Now of course EA covered their ass in the rules and regulations. ”‘Commit acts of lust’ is simply a hip way to say take pictures with costumed reps,” it reads. “Also, a ‘Night of Lust’ means only that the winner will receive a chaperoned VIP night on the town with the Dante’s Inferno reps, all expenses paid, as well as other prizes.” There are several stories floating around talking about the “Outrage” of this promotion.
Well the outrage was a small group of what looked like radical religiously driven protesters outside Comic Con, the media ran with this a bit, it was even a featured story on yahoo.com this morning. EA also tweeted a unapologetic response to the so called outrage in following days. Do a little more research and you will find that EA staged the protests themselves. This is the website of the group that was protesting http://wearesavedgroup.org, scroll some of the links at the bottom of the site and they link right to the Dante Inferno homepage. GamePro.com broke the hoax. But the story of just the outrage and protests (nothing about the hoax!) is a featured story on yahoo and other media channels. Another perfect example of how the media can be played or just mis represent the facts in order to try and grab viewers/readers. To be honest thats how I first read about it. Now the story is viral, free marketing. Well played EA.
the yahoo article if you want to see how they blew it out of proportion http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/ea-blasted-over-questionable-marketing-stunt/1338121
Best Drug Induced Breakdown Scenes
26 Jul 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 CommentsEveryone loves a good rock bottom moment so we have compiled a list of the best drug induced breakdowns created on film. Take a look at our top list as created by the minds of Zoot Nation as we enjoy our rock bottom moment sitting on the couch all day fighting off a hangover. A little hangover has nothing on these scenes.
Honorable Mention: Saved by the Bell- Jesse gets addicted to caffeine pills she uses to study. Not a movie but this had to make the list just because it’s such a memorable childhood tv moment. Get it together spano.
#8 The Program – Lattimers roid rages hard after making the starting defense. So awsome.
#7 Boogie Nights – “You got the touch!” John C Reilly and Mark Wahlberg’s coke fueled attempt at making a hit record. The magic is in the tapes. Long live Brock Landers and Chess Rockwell!
#6 Trainspotting – Ewan McGregors bad bedroom trip. Spinning baby heads and all.
#5 Basketball Diaries - Leo and Wahlberg lose their shit on the basketball court after taking the wrong pills.
#4 Less Than Zero – Robert Downey Jr’s coke to crack breakdown. A montage of the progression of his character. One of his best performances.
#3 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – Possibly Johnny Depps best performance ever. The whole movie is essentially a drug induced breakdown, but the acid trip at the hotel is possibly the best scene of the film.
#2 Scarface- Al Pacino snorts a mound of coke and takes about 50 bullets and keeps killing. Definitely not good for your health but being able to go face first into a pile of blow is respectable to some extent. I wouldn’t do it but I respect it.
#1 Requiem For A Dream – Probably the most depressing movie scene of all time. Everyones lives hit absolut rock bottom.
Vid of the week…..Fuck You Baltimore!
09 Mar 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 CommentsIf you were a fan of the “powerthirst” videos you will love this, you “400 babies!!!!!” I think it might be the same guys, not sure though. Either way this takes a pretty good poke at ridiculous local car dealer commercials, especially those “big budget” pieces of dog shit that have unbelievable punch lines or have the owners whole family in the in the freakin commercial. The ones that exclamation huge deals!!!!! that will make your brain explode. Enjoy.
