Teen Wolf masterbater in the bleachers
The weirdest thing here isn’t the fact that a high school basketball team snuck out a victory with a werewolf as MVP, but that some guy in the bleachers unzipped his pants to masturbate during the game. (Through the wonders of HD, this mistake has become even more obscene.)
If you are not into martial arts, or the Ong Bak series, you can stop reading our page forever, because you have no taste in movies. Just kidding, dont stop reading ZootPatrol, but honestly, you have no taste in action films. The movie is due out in April of 2010 and of course will star Tony Jaa, the worlds most bad ass martial arts master. Onk Bak 3 will pick up right where Ong Bak 2 left off. The film looks to go out with a bang with some more of the unique fighting stunts fans have come to know and love from the previous films. There’s even a part where Tony Jaa will be fighting uniquely as his character’s arms and legs will be damaged by torture, forcing Jaa to fight as though his body has no bones. I dont know what that could even look like, aside from picturing Jabba the Hut in action.The new trailer came out just this week, so check it out, get stoked, and go try and break some wood in your backyard or knock cheetos off your dogs nose with a round house kick. Just dont blame us when you accidentally shatter your pit bulls jaw, causing him to chew your entire face off.
Fox has just released the trailer for Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. This trailer introduces us to the new world that Gordon Gekko is entering, some 23 years after he went to prison at the end of Wall Street. The film’s plot mainly centers around Gekko acting as more of an anti-hero rather than a villain and follows his attempts to help Wall Street before its soon-to-be stock market crash as well as trying to repair his relationship with his daughter Winnie with the help of Jacob, Winnie’s fiance. In return, Gekko helps Jacob get revenge on the man he blames for his mentor’s death. The film will also star Shia LaBeouf, Josh Brolin, Carey Mulligan, Eli Wallach, Susan Sarandon, Vanessa Ferlito and Frank Langella in supporting roles. Charlie Sheen is also in the movie which is awesome, I just hope LaBeouf doesn’t mess this movie up and go all studdering Transformers mode.
Sometimes movies suck and the best thing about them are the cars that are featured in the film. Here is a collection of cars that will be remembered a lot more than the lead characters in each movie.
1963 Volkswagen Beetle – Herbie
Herbie 53 is a love bug with a mind of his own, which is more than can be said for a vapid, wasted Lindsay Lohan. In reality Lohan never drove the car at all, Herbie drove around the wasted Lohan which saved her from another 7 DUI’s.
“Interceptor” 1974 Ford Falcon – The Road Warrior
Back then the 1974 Ford Falcon was more well known then this Mel Gibson guy who just went to the Mad Max audition with his friend, not really planning to get the part.
1981 DeLorean DMC-12 – Back to the Future
The DeLorean is a terrible car, but Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox made it a cultural trademark with a legacy as long as their acting careers in a “it’s so bad it’s good” kind of way.
Back in September we did a little preview of the A-Team movie with a character comparison for the new A-Team cast vs the tv show. http://www.zootpatrol.com/index.php/2009/09/the-a-team-movie-2010/
This is one of those movies you say, “Finally someone did this”. A bunch of kids going out in the woods and thinking anything and everyone are creepy killers. Coming out, Memorial Day 2010 – Tucker and Dale, two hillbillies heading to their fixer-upper cabin for some relaxing, discover they aint alone in them woods. They encounter an SUV full of vacationing college kids, and Dale unintentionally creeps them out. But later, as he and Tucker are fishing, Dale rescues one of them—the pretty blond Alison—after she falls into the lake. Assuming shes been captured, the indomitably preppy college kids rally to find her. A comically macabre battle between Izods and overalls, Eli Craigs ingenious send-up of the horror genre recounts a simple misunderstanding gone grotesquely wrong. Our hillbilly psycho killers are actually sweet as pie; its the judgmental college kids who have issues.
For every big role in Hollywood there is also a critically acclaimed performance that was slated to go to another actor or actress. While we’re sure they had good reasons for their decisions, we’re also wondering how hard they kick themselves after realizing they passed up “The Big One.” We have put together the top 7 iconic roles that were given to someone else first, but those people thought the movie was going to be a big waste of time, ensuring that they made one of the biggest mistakes in their careers.
7. Dirty Harry: Frank Sinatra as Harry Callahan
Frank Sinatra passed on Dirty Harry as he had the flu and couldn’t be bothered finishing the script. And by flu I’m sure he was just so drunk that he thought it would get in the way of his drinking. You’ve gotta ask yourself a question: “Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” Well yes I’m sure you do Frank because your shit faced and that is a toy gun.
6. Gladiator: Mel Gibson as Maximus
Gibson turned down the lead role in Gladiator. A role which landed Russell Crowe the Academy Award. Mel also turned down the part of Robin Hood in “Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.” Instead, that part went to a not very believable Kevin Costner.
So over the holiday weekend the new Kevin Smith trailer, Cop Out, hit the internet. Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. Jimmy (Bruce Willis) is the veteran detective whose missing collectible is his only hope to pay for his daughter’s upcoming wedding, and Paul (Tracy Morgan) is his “partner-against-crime” whose preoccupation with his wife’s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball. In my opinion, Kevin Smith has been on a bit of a dry spell his last couple of movies, but this trailer really has me excited. Tracy Morgan is one of my favorite comedians so I have to have faith in the fact that hes gonna kill it.
Now were not ones to be dropping personal opinions here on Zoot because we don’t want to be self-righteous douche-bag bloggers. Once in a while though something is so aggravating that opinions need to be dropped. This morning I saw the “new” Karate Kid trailer and what a complete piece of horse shit this looks like. I’m a Jackie Chan fan so couldn’t hate on him being the “new” Miyagi but thats the only part I could stand to watch. Aside from the fact that Hollywood feels the need to ruin classics and throw creativity out the window here are my reasons. Watch this bull crap trailer and do society a favor and make sure your little brothers and sisters see the original Karate Kid so ten years from now people aren’t referring to this as the Karate Kid.
- Zero creativity, storyline is identical except instead of moving to the Valley this kid moves to China to get bullied.
- Jaden Smith is the new Daniel son, seriously how much damage can you do at 11 years old and can you really have a love interest at 11, but the movie plays up the angle. Get Real!
- 11 year old shirtless work out scenes are just too weird to watch.
- You will most likely watch 11 year olds make out, that will be weird too.
- Finally, I’m sure everyone remembers the scene in the original Karate Kid where Daniel is getting his ass kicked by the cobra kai dressed in skeleton costumes and Miyagi pops out and kicks their asses. Well the same scene happens in this without the awsome costumes. But the best part is when Jackie Chan pops out and starts kicking the asses of kids who are not even teenagers! How awful is that!
The whole vampire craze is really getting out of control lately, especially when even my guy friends are watching these New Moon movies. There are some vampire classics like Blade and Underworld, but it has just gotten ridiculous now. For some reason every vampire movie has to have one pussy vampire fall in love with some trailer park whore in the woods. It’s the same story line every time. I recently came across these two movies which I was actually intrigued by, especially Thirst. The first movie is called “Daybreakers” starring Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke plays Edward Dalton, a researcher in the year 2019, in which an unknown plague has transformed the world’s population into vampires. As the human population nears extinction, vampires must capture and farm every remaining human, or find a blood substitute before time runs out. However, a covert group of vampires makes a remarkable discovery, one which has the power to save the human race.
Thirst is a movie directed by Chan-wook Park, the same guy who directed Old Boy which is in my top 5 favorite movies of all time, go see it now. Anyway the movie is a bout a guy named Sang-hyun, a priest working for a hospital, who selflessly volunteers for a secret vaccine development project intended to eradicate a deadly virus. However, the virus eventually takes over the priest. He nearly dies, but makes a miraculous recovery by an accidental transfusion of vampire blood. He realizes his sole reason for living: the pleasures of the flesh.