Taking a piss at a urinal can be a very awkward experience if you get an old creepy weirdo for a neighbor. The common law is just stare straight ahead at the concrete blocks with an occasional look down, zip up, and get the hell out of there. Now personally I’m not one of those pee shy kind of guys and I can care less about how crowded or exposed the stalls are, I’m there to do one thing and one thing only. Some guys get really up tight when in a public bathroom, I don’t know why. There are some guys that get all tough ass and don’t like to even hear words spoken in the bathroom. Because of those guys I started being a real asshole in public bathrooms in order to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible, and to also get a good laugh when I break out of there. Here are 20 things you can do to make things real awkward, real fast, but pure comedy for you and your buddies.

1. “Your stream seems kind of weak, maybe you should get your prostate checked.”

2. Pinch your nose real exaggerated like, and exclaim, “God damn, these blood clots stink. Can you smell them over there? Smells like barbecue sauce and vomit.”

3. “Hey, nice cock buddy.”

4. “I wonder what my sister is up to right now?”

5. “Oh it BURNS, my God in heaven how it BURNS.”

6. Piss in the urinal right next to the only guy in the bathroom, especially when there is 10 other open urinals.

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For about 99% of people the job you have is based on just making enough money to live. A lot of people don’t like there job which is a shame, but you have to work to live life, somewhat of a chore if you will. In very rare circumstances though there is a chance to land a once in a life time job that truly ranks as the world’s greatest job, and no, working in telemarketing selling Foreman Grills doesn’t make the cut. Below are the top 5 greatest jobs which one lucky son of bitch landed, making us pretty jealous. On the other hand writing for zootpatrol was number 6, but who makes a top 6 list, that’s just ridiculous.

5. Wine Taster and Blogger

Imagine moving to the heart of Sonoma County, where every day you’ll come home to more than 450 wineries along the beautiful northern coast of California. Picture living rent free, learning the intricacies of making the perfect wine, and capturing and sharing the entire experience for your network of Twitter followers. Now imagine getting paid $10,000 a month to do it. Listening? Hardy Wallace of Atlanta, the first person to submit his application, was the winner for the position at Murphy-Goode Winery— a $10,000 p/mo for six months, rent-free job updating Twitter and Facebook with his winery lifestream. The interview process was simple: submit a YouTube video explaining why you would be good for the job and wait to see what happened.

4. Resort Waterslide Tester

Surely the envy of any desk-bound office worker, Tommy Lynch has travelled over 27,000 miles this year, for his job testing holiday resort waterslides. Mr Lynch, 29, works for holiday giant First Choice, checking the height, speed, water quantity and landing of the flumes, as well as all safety aspects. In 2008 Mr Lynch tested waterslides at holiday villages in Lanzarote, Majorca, Egypt, Turkey, the Costa Del Sol, Cyprus, Algarve, Dominican Republic and Mexico. This year he will quality control First Choice’s new splash resorts in Greece, Turkey, Florida, Jamaica and Ibiza.
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Even dogs know that the best way to commute back and forth to work is on public transportation. Seriously. Stray dogs in Moscow are reportedly hopping on the train every morning for a free ride to the bustling industrial city centers right along with humans that are just starting their day of work. At the end of the workday, these same dogs are getting back on the train to go back to their more comfy suburban surroundings.

It gets even better. Apparently, these K9s know that the first and last subway cars are the quietest, so they hop on and take a nap, and the dogs work together to time the ride home so they know when to get off.

Another skill they have is to go on the green traffic light. “They don’t react on color, but on the picture they see on the traffic light”, A Moscow scientist tells. It’s funny but the ecologists studying Moscow stray dogs also tell the dogs don’t miss a chance to get some play while on their travel in the subway. They are fond of jumping in the train just seconds before the doors shut closed risking their tails be jammed. “They do it for fun …”

So if you never heard of Chatroulette, it is a new up and coming website that automatically connects you via webcam with a complete stranger. You have the option to turn your camera and sound off, but then whats the point. As you get connected with a complete stranger you have the option of immediately hitting the “next” button to go on to the next stranger, or you can simply start talking or whatever you want to do with your new web cam connection, sounds awkward and creepy right, well it is, and I loved it. Now before you think I’m some kind of weirdo let me give you some advice and tips so make this website a good time.

Chatroulette Users:
Above is a pretty accurate graph depicting my experience while I was cruising on Chatroulette this past weekend. The average age of users is mid twenties, with only a few “kids”, which I got to witness a 10 year old black kid break dance and do this awesome military salute dance that I will defiantly be using in the clubs next weekend. (more…)

The Boryeong Mud Festival in South Korea is a must go to event with a bunch of mud filled fun.

An unbelievable rope swing at Hanging Rock in Blackheath Australia, located in the Blue Mountains National Park.

Hunter S. Thompson was the king of Gonzo journalism, and these motivation posters prove it.

Every once in a while, we like to share some solid facts with our readers. Here are some things that were common place 11 years ago.

The cookie monster going to war with some rebels while still appearing to be warm and inviting.