Ardi is 4.4 million years old and could be the most important discovery in human evolution. She is our oldest discovered ancestor. She was found in the Ethiopian desert and it took 15 years to fully uncover and analyze the fragmented skeleton remains. She was ape like and lived in trees but could also walk upright on the ground when she wanted. She was 4ft tall and weighed around 110 pounds. Ardi is so important because she pushes the split of chimpanzees and humans back another million years. Until now it was believed that our earliest ancestors didn’t begin walking upright until they moved out of the forest and into the African plains. More importantly, she can walk on two legs but still has a foot which can grasp things, like an apes foot. Move over Lucy, Ardi’s here!
A recent poll of 15,000 women determined who sucks and who doesn’t in bed. The poll was carried out by OnePoll.com which surveyed women from 20 countries who were asked to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers. America coming in at 5th worst in the world is pretty brutal, I guess we should stop holding girls by the throat and slamming their heads into the bed post while we’re fucking them in the ass, I though that was romantic, guess not. Have a good weekend zooters and zootians.
WORLD’S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)
WORLD’S BEST LOVERS
6. South Africa
8. New Zealand
If you are a loyal reader of Zootpatrol then you know we are big fans of style, design, and products that push the limits. Just because these are toilets, it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to applaud the efforts of these designers. True, some of these are just silly and none of them really serve any marketing or advertising purpose, but why do toilets all have to be the same? The way I see it, people spend a lot of time in “meetings” so they might as well get a little laugh out of it. These designs hit on every type of emotion from hilarious, to creepy. The Japanese are known for being a little out there when it comes to their sexual appetites and their bathroom humor is no exception. Below are some of my favorites, and you can see the rest of them here. Enjoy!
To celebrate the 20 year anniversary of The Simpsons, Marge will be appearing on the cover of Playboy, and it is also being reported that she will have a nude spread, flashing her yellow nipples inside the pages of the popular mens magazine. There will be no Heidi Montag’ing going on here by covering up the goods. This raises the question, is this an exciting and cool way to usher in the 20 year milestone for the popular cartoon, or is this just down right creepy? When you think of sexy cartoon characters (not that I do) you think Jessica Rabbit, Betty Boop, Lara Croft, and Bugs Bunny when he dresses up like a girl. Marge has always been the tall blue haired mom of Bart the bad ass, and the wife of Homer, the beer guzzling coolest father of all time. She never really goes out of her way to sex it up, so hopefully she is ready for the challenge. I just hope that Marge has been hitting the gym. If the lighting is off and a bad picture of her hits the net, her reign as Springfields supermom could come to an end. Let us know what you think!
A Mashup of Miley Cyrus’ insufferable Party in the USA and Notorious B.I.G.’s Party and Bullshit that is surprisingly catchy. I will now be bumping Hannah Montana in my Civic hatchback while driving through Newark giving the finger and puffing a bowling pin sized blunt.
So America is pretty bad ass as we all know, you don’t give us extra cheese on our hamburger and we’re going to bomb the shit out of you. So since we are running out of cities to decimate on Earth we decided to get intergalactic and bomb the moon. A NASA spacecraft bombed the South Pole of the Moon today in the hope of discovering water on the lunar surface. NASA’s “L-CROSS” mission involved the successful use of an unmanned rocket and a satellite. That satellite will soon transmit live TV images and scientific data back to Earth. The rocket slammed into a crater of the moon at 7:30 a.m. (EST). Scientists are hoping that this will cause a plume of rocks and dust and possibly ice to come flying off the moon. NASA officials said their instruments were working, but the planned live photos were missing. So as of now there is no pictures showing exactly what happened probably because something very wrong happened or absolutly nothing happened. Either way chill out America, who gives a shit if theres water on the moon.
Here is 17 year old Kobe Bryant going between his legs and dunking at the Gym Rat Midnight Madness High School Showcase in 1995. Bryant pulls off this dunk in a GAME less than a year after Isaiah Rider made it a signature dunk in the NBA dunk contest the year before. Kobe Bryant went on to play his senior campaign at Lower Merion High School and was drafted 13th overall by the Charlotte Hornets. Soon after, Jerry West, general manager of the Los Angeles Lakers, traded his starting center, Vlade Divac, to the Hornets in exchange for Bryant’s draft rights. Since he was still 17 at the time of the draft, his parents had to cosign his contract with the Lakers until he was able to sign his own when he turned 18 before the season began. It turned out to be a pretty decent move by West.
Longboards have long been thought of as too big, bulky, heavy or long to perform the standard skate tricks that are so smooth and easy on the standard boards. I came across this video while day dreaming at my grey and gloomy 9-5, and it served as the perfect medicine to get me through the day, knowing that shred season was another day closer. The best thing about longboards is that they are the perfect substitute for snowboarding or surfing. Although nothing can replicate the feeling of shredding through some waste high pow pow, or back slashing that perfect head high barrel, longboarding lets you keep your skills in check, and also lets you push the limits of what everyone thinks boards are capable of. This video has some really cool parts in which the riders really take things to the limit.
So if you are a skateboarder, surfer or snowboarder, check out the progression going on in longboarding. You don’t need water to practice surfing and you don’t need snow to practice snowboarding, grab a longboard, get out there and skate.
The importance of clever packaging sometimes gets over looked by companies looking to cut corners by saving a buck or two in the process. For some reason, they never got the memo that no matter what your product is, first impressions are everything, and in the consumer world that we live in, most people impulse buy off of pure looks alone. Luckily for us, The Pentawards keep track of all of the great design concepts that hit the market and give out awards at the end of each year. Check out LovelyPackage to see all of the winners! Its nice to see an award given to the artists that are responsible for helping their companies strive. Similar to the Lamborghini Reventon Roadster post from earlier in the week, first impressions count for so much, and if your product isn’t eye catching, I suggest you pack it in early and save yourself the trouble of filling out those bankrupt papers that you will inevitably be mailing in on the day your gem of an idea business goes belly up.
Darth is a bad man for using Luke Skywalker’s chopped off hand as his girlfriend, but Arnold still is the baddest.