Best Hollywood Alternative Sports Movies of the 80′s and 90′s

21 Sep 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 1 Comments

As I was putting this together it dawned on me there isn’t a single commendable hollywood snowboarding movie out there.  There are definitely a few movies that could of been of added to the list, hate it or love it you know Point Break could of made of an appearance.  Any movies with 80′s and early 90′s style and music are always great to watch but the best part of these classics is the language.  Watch a few of these and you surely be dropping lines like “gnarly” “totally tubular” “radical!”  and “totally awsome!”.  Don’t expect any creative plot lines though every movie is about a hotshot chasing some bodacious babe revolving around a sport.  If MMA is an alternative sport, then maybe karate kid should of been added. 

Gleaming the Cube (1989)   Christian Slater in his prime as a skateboarder trying to revenge his bros death.  This movie sparked kids all over the country to try hanging on to a car riding their boards.  If you look close you will see a 17 year old Tony Hawk and the entire Bones Brigade crew.  After watching this who didn’t want a bedroom in an underground water tank in their backyard like Yabo!

Rad (1986)  Hands down the best BMX movie ever made.  Crew Jones is a hometown rider trying to make it with the big dogs while chasing the babelicious Lori Loughlin (Jesse’s babe from Full House).  This movie has the best soundtrack of all the movies, “Send Me an Angel” and “Thunder in Your Heart” are songs you should definitely have on your ipod.

Rad Trailer   plus ever see people Dance on bikes? Send Me an Angel Scene

North Shore (1987)  The story of a kid who surfs wave pools in Arizona trying to become a pro on North Shore Oahu.  His sidekick character “Turtle” is probably one the best sidekicks ever.  He also plays a member of the Boda Zafa’s crew in Point Break.

 

Airborne (1993) One of Jack Blacks first mainstream appearances.  Mitchell Goosen is a SoCal surfer living in Cincinatti for the winter.   The locals don’t like his laid back attitude but when they realize he can rip it on a pair of roller blades the respect comes.  If you’ve seen it you will agree it’s Seth Greens best comedic performance ever.  Every kid wanted to strap on a pair of blades and take on the biggest hill in their town or “Devils Backbone” after watching this.  CHILL BRA!

 

Side Out (1990)  Babes in high thigh bikinis and VolleyBall in the SoCal sun! Enough said.  Trailer is all bikini babes love it!

Aspen Extreme (1993) Couple of local mountain skiers move to Aspen to become ski instructors and mingle the parties of the rich and famous.  One guy falls in love and the other ends up running naked in the streets with a coke problem only to be reunited and then our sidekick dies in an avalanche.  Besides the coke and dying in an avalanche this  movie sparked me and my best friends life plan for a few years.

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Gays-1, Christians-0

21 Sep 2009, written by Riz 0 Comments

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One thing I never got was people who waste all their time giving other people shit for their beliefs or decisions. Gay rights protesters are some of the most ignorant and obnoxious people that fall into the “Will you please mind your own business and STFU” group. Something that they tend to lean on is the bible, and the fact that it is against Christianity to be gay. They mix their religious beliefs with their legal beliefs, and pretty much end up making no sense at all. The only thing they usually accomplish is making themselves look like uneducated bigots. I came across this photo and thought that it was very cleaver. Finally the gay rights people beat the protestors at their own game by quoting the bible as well. Damn though, we should all be grateful that we don’t follow this rule. Every girl in America would be dead.
gay-funny

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The Four Most Expensive Beers You Will Ever Drink.

20 Sep 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 Comments

Eventually, after years of crushing Bud and Coors Light 30 packs, you actually begin to appreciate beers that have a little more to them than just your average can of piss.  But don’t get me wrong, I love that can of piss. Who and where would we all be without the guidance of a 30 pack of cans? In case you were wondering what the world’s most expensive beers are, here’s a rundown of the top four. The best part about all of these beers is that you could probably afford each one in your lifetime, unlike a really expensive alcohol or wine. Well, maybe not Vielle Bon Secours. At $1000 per bottle this takes the cake as the worlds most expensive brew.

Vielle Bon Secours $1000 per bottle

La Vielle Bon Secour

La Vielle Bon Secour

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

La Vielle Bon Secour is only available at Londons Bierdome, so if your ever in London it might be worth it to drop $78 for a pint on this reddish gold Belgium Pale slice of heaven.

Carlsberg Vintage Number 2 $600 per bottle

Carlsberg Vintage No 2

Carlsberg Vintage No 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carlsberg Vintage No 2 is brewed in Denmark and boasts a dark expresso foam with a stout taste.   If your a fan of a darker brew this would definitely be your choice to blow the rent on.

TutanKhamen Ale $525 a bottle.

TutanKhamun Ale

TutanKhamun Ale

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The original bottle of Tutankhamun Ale sold for over 7K.  Primarily because it was made with a 3200 year old recipe uncovered by archaeologists in Egypt.  Only 1000 bottles of this were ever made and the latest sale of one of these bottles went for $525 at an Indianapolis museum auction. I’m  not sure if I would drink this or not if I had the chance.  It may be equally as awsome to take one sip to try it and then poor out the rest for dead homies and pharaohs.

Sam Adams Utopias $100 per bottle

Sam Adams Utopias

Sam Adams Utopias

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one you may actually get a shot at trying in your life time.  At only a $100 per bottle it may be the cheapest of the four but you definitely get your monies worth.  This sucker is 25% alc and the strongest of all beers.  They only make about 8,000 bottles a year.  If you wondering how to get a bottle just do a search on Ebay, the highest priced bottle is going for $349.  I heard it can be tasted at The Great American Beer Festival and one guy described it as tasting like whiskey and syrup.  So next time your sippin on a little jack and coke throw some pancake syrup in there. That sounds like a homegrown mixed drink that could really take off actually.

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When Life Gives You Lemons.

17 Sep 2009, written by Riz 2 Comments

lemons

There is no doubt that this was a rough year on a lot of people. Millions of jobs were lost, and people who thought they we financially set ended up having to come to grips with the fact that all of the money they had stashed away for retirement was now gone. The economy shit the bed. It didn’t just hershey squirt a small stain on the sheets, it full on, flu like symptoms, diarrhea’d in its sleep. Just like everyone else, I personally know a few friends who were unfortunate enough to get that dreaded call from Human Resources, letting them know that they were being let go.

I stumbled on this trailer, and it changed the way I looked at the current events that are going on in the work place within our country. It made me realize that people spend a lot of time mixing their personal identities with their work identities. Sure, people need to make money, and thats obviously why most of us work in the first place, but there is something more that is going on. People begin to lose the fire and passion for what they would really rather be doing, and they get lost in the crowd. They get so engulfed with who they “should be” that they forget what they want to be. This movie takes a look at people who were unfortunate enough to be laid off from their jobs, but soon found that it was really a blessing in disguise. Like they say, when life gives you lemons..

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Getting Awkward With The “Like” Feature on Facebook

17 Sep 2009, written by Revelation 0 Comments

I guess it’s nice to let people know you like what they are doing, but sometimes it just gets a little awkward. Here are some prime examples of the beauty of the “Like” button on Facebook. P.S. If Zuckerberg doesn’t come out with the “Does Not Like” button soon I’m going to create it myself.

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Bonus Facebook girl getting owned by boss.

face5

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Four Jams You Should DownLoad

16 Sep 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 1 Comments

Here’s four jams you should add to your collection if you don’t have them already.  This edition has a bit of an 80′s theme but only 2 of the 4 were actually released in the 80′s.

M83 – Kim and Jessie

Great 80′s vibe though not 80′s definitely could of made the closing montage of a John Hughes film.

Romantics – Talking In Your Sleep

You won’t mistake this for 80′s, these guys have awsome hair.

The Sounds – Rock n Roll

The Sounds have started to make a bit of a mainstream move stemming from their UK roots,  look for them to be everywhere soon.   Their lead singer Maja Ivarsson is a bad ass fox that works the stage like Gwen Stefani used to before she became a pop queen.

Maja Ivarsson - The Sounds

Maja Ivarsson - The Sounds

Talking Heads – This Must Be The Place

Great jam for cold beers and a sunny day on the beach.

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America, This Is Why Your Fat

16 Sep 2009, written by Revelation 2 Comments
Hey, you gunna eat that happy meal boss?

Hey, you gunna eat that happy meal boss?

Everyone knows that America is the most obese nation in the world, but we aren’t just in first place, we’re pulling a Deion Sanders and high stepping into the end zone with this one. Being “obese” is categorized by having a body-mass index greater than 30. As you expected, with so many countries, every country is separated by one maybe two percent, until you get to the number two to one jump. The top 5 most obese nations read as followed 5. Greece 22% 4. Slovack Republic 22% 3. UK 23% 2. Mexico 24% and your undisputed champion and still undefeated 1. USA 31%. A whopping 7% increase from the closest contender is pretty impressive, and that’s coming from Mexico, a country that only eats tacos, burritos, and nachos, so if they ain’t close no one ever will be.

Now as much as the media tries to portray that obesity is such a problem and it is killing our people, let’s take a step back. I’m not a professional body builder or marathon runner so I’m kind of going off the top on this one but what has America really done to stop obesity? Alright making fast food restaurants offer apples and salads was a start. Everything under the sun coming in “low calories” and “fat-free”, O.K. we’re getting somewhere. Big empty concrete buildings charging people $60 a month to pedal on a bolted down bike and lift rusted iron, yea that’s popular now. Either way nothing can be done to stop people from being lazy and eating a bacon and cotton candy stuffed sausage patty on a deep friend peanut butter bun.

I'll take the one on the right with a Diet Coke please.

I'll take the one on the right with a Diet Coke please.

The other reason obesity will never slow down is because it makes way too much money for our economy, how much money you ask? This year alone “obesity industries” will likely top $315 billion dollars, and perhaps far beyond. That includes $133.7 billion for fast-food restaurants, $124.7 billion for medical treatments related to obesity, and $1.8 billion just for diet books — all told, nearly 3 percent of the overall U.S. economy. If you break it down even further it gets real fun to see how big of a fat ass this nation is. According to the consumer-research group, Mintel Group, in 2004 we guzzled down $37 billion in carbonated beverages. We also spent $3.9 billion on cookies, $6.2 billion on potato chips, and $57.2 billion on meals at restaurants such as Denny’s, Chili’s and Outback Steakhouse. So if you have half a brain cell in your noggin you can assume that 99 cent double cheeseburgers served to you in under a minute aren’t going anywhere. Simply put there is a lot of money being made by feeding our over-sized stomachs. So as much as the media crys out for a stop to this “epidemic”, the truth is, in no way shape or form is obesity ever going to be stopped.

I put together a few food examples of America being….fat. (Yes there are much more intense gross concoctions, but these 5 are actually worth trying.)

5. The Fat Elvis

fatelvis1

A deep fried peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich sprinkled with powdered sugar

4. The Luther Rory

A one third pound of sirloin topped with two slices of white American cheese, four strips of bacon, peanut butter, between two Krispy Kreme donuts.

A one third pound of sirloin topped with two slices of white American cheese, four strips of bacon, peanut butter, between two Krispy Kreme donuts.

3. KFC Double Down Sandwich

Two pieces of bacon and two slices of cheese smothered with the Colonel’s Sauce with two fried chicken patties as buns.

Two pieces of bacon and two slices of cheese smothered with the Colonel’s Sauce with two fried chicken patties as buns.

2. Kentucky Nachos

Potato chips covered in barbecued pulled pork, blue cheese, coleslaw, cheddar cheese and sauteed onions and peppers.

Potato chips covered in barbecued pulled pork, blue cheese, coleslaw, cheddar cheese and sauteed onions and peppers.

1. The Big Fat Ugly Sandwich

fatugly

A sandwich filled with four cheeseburgers, a double cheesesteak, a chicken cheesesteak, gyro meat, grilled chicken, bacon, sausage, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, chicken nuggets, mac n’ cheese bites, fried mushrooms, jalapeño poppers, pizza bites, onion rings, hash browns, American cheese, mayo, and ketchup on two rolls. To make it worse there is a challenge that goes along with this beast of a sandwich. Finish it in 15 minutes and it’s on the house plus you get a free t-shirt, cool can I also get a new asshole with that too.

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Even The President Called Kanye A Jackass

15 Sep 2009, written by Revelation 1 Comments


This Obama guy isn’t that bad actually.

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Zoot Remembers Patrick Swayze and His Most Bad Ass Characters RIP.

14 Sep 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 Comments

It was just announced that Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer today.  He wasn’t a phenomenal actor or anything but he just seemed like a stand up guy that played some really memoriable roles in great B movies.  What girl reading this turns off Dirty Dancing when it’s on TV and what dude turns of RoadHouse?  Even if your a dude you can’t hate on Dirty Dancing, who doesn’t want to be a badass dude working chicks at a summer resort with dance moves.  Plus that movie was probably the inspiration for the the girl who grinded up on your piece at the 8th grade dance and gave you a boner so be thankful for it.   With all that said we decided we should show some love to Swayze and take a look back at some of his best characters.   This whole thing could of been just about his character Bohdi from Point Break.  Bodhi: Yo, Johnny! I see you in the next life!

Point Break – Bodhi.  The Bohdizafa was the ultimate surfing searcher.   Swayze made a huge comeback with this role.  We can all learn a little something from this character.  Most memoriable quotes 1 ”Bodhi:  If you want the ultimate, you’ve got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It’s not tragic to die doing what you loveBodhizafa  2 “Bodhi: Little hand says it’s time to rock and roll. ” 3 ”
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 Bodhi: Yeah, I know man. Ain’t it wild? That’s what makes it so interesting. You can do what you want, and make up your own rules. Why be a servant to the law, when you can be it’s master?

Bodhi: What’s the matter with you guys? This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive. Don’t worry about this guy, okay? I know exactly what to do with him.

The OutsidersDarrel Curtis Alot of people have not seen this movie it goes back to 1983.  It’s about a gang of greasers vs rich kids.  Swayze played rolled the role of the leader older brother of the greasers.  The brawl scene at the end is one of the best brawl scenes ever.  Tom Cruise, Matt Dillon, Emilio Estevez, Ralph Machiacho and Rob Lowe all got their start in this movie.  Directed by Francis Ford Coppola watch it.

RoadHouse – Jimmy Dalton.  This guy did yoga and was hired strictly to win bar fights and had gratuitious sex scenes with a hot blonde doctor played by Kelly Lynch.  Most memoriable quotes:  Doc: Do you always carry your medical record around with you?
Dalton: Saves time.   Dalton: Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he’ll drop like a stone.

Patrick Swayze as Darrel Curtis - The Outsiders

Patrick Swayze as Darrel Curtis - The Outsiders

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patrick Swayze Road House

Patrick Swayze Road HouseKelly Lynch is hot nice work swayze.

nice work swayze kelly lynch is hot

nice work swayze kelly lynch is hot

Red DawnJed Eckert.  Swayze leads “The Wolverines” a group of renegade teenagers leading the resistance against a Russian invasion of the midwest.  Their might be a remake of this in the works. 
Patrick Swayze Red Dawn

Patrick Swayze Red Dawn

 

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Dirty. One Word Can Change The World.

14 Sep 2009, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 Comments

ol_dirty_bastard

Whether you know him as Ol Dirty Bastard, Big Baby Jesus, Dirt McGirt, Dirt Dog, Osirus, or The BZA, Russell Jones was a creative personality that will forever live on in the hearts of hip hop fans. Ol’ Dirty Bastard simultaneously brought a measure of humor and a touch of the absurd to the Wu-Tang Clan, which he helped to form with his two cousins, the RZA and the GZA. In late 1992, the trio decided to expand their group and added 6 more members, forming the original Wu Tang Clan. While most of the members received individual praise from critics and fans, Jones became perhaps the best-known member of the group. Armed with a seemingly crazed, slurred, often off-beat, half-sung half-rapped delivery, bizarre lyrics and humorous antics that were unlike anything ever heard before in rap, he seemed to encapsulate and personify the raw, unadulterated and innovative style of the group. ODB died in November of 2004 from an accidental drug overdose, as an autopsy found a lethal mixture of cocaine and prescription drug Tramadol, a synthetic opiate used to treat severe pain. Leading up to his death, Dirty’s legal troubles seemed to be piling up and were making him “something of a folk hero”. Music critic Steve Huey wrote.

it was difficult for observers to tell whether ODB’s wildly erratic behavior was the result of serious drug problems or genuine mental instability … the possibility that his continued antics were at least partly the result of conscious image-making disappeared as time wore on.

Fortunately, for everyone who craves just one more dose of Big Baby Jesus, his cousin, Raison Allah Iceman, has plans to release a slew of tribute albums and a documentary, entitled Dirty. One Word Can Change the World. The film, three years in the making, is set to be released this November and it chronicles the life of ODB and the impact that he had on the people and world around him. The film is set to show ODB’s old hood, interviews from family members, friends, his musical counterparts, and even features the 13 year old girl Dirty saved from a car wreck when she was a toddler. According to Raison Allah Iceman, who serves as producer on all of the albums and the movie:

Years ago I promised to keep Dirty’s legacy alive, so we formed Zu Films and started filming a documentary which tells his life story. When word got out that we were working on a documentary, Wu fam(ily) started sending me so many tracks that we didn’t want to wait until the soundtrack to the DVD to put them out. We decided to put out a tribute album every other month until the documentary, Dirty. One Word Can Change The World, is released in November. Each tribute disc will include a short trailer to promote the upcoming DVD documentary

Enjoy the trailer below as it shows some insane Ol Dirty Bastard moments, and touches on some stories that have never made their way to the main stream. I am particularly excited for the unreleased ODB footage, and can’t wait for the up close and personal look at one of Hip Hops most eccentric, creative, troubled, and misunderstood personalities. Shimmy Shimmy YAAA Shimmy yammm Shimmm YAY!

 

 

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