Clay Marzo – Just Add Water

18 Aug 2009, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Every now and then there comes an inspirational sports story that really makes you feel good. There has been a couple good ones ranging from Jason McElwain scoring 20 points in 4 minutes to Clay Dyer the no armed fisherman. I came across the story of Clay Marzo when I tuned into a new episode of E60 (One of the better ESPN shows). Clay Marzo is an 18 year old surfer from Maui. He got his first surf board at 8 years old and hasn’t stopped shredding waves since. Although he seemed like a normal kid his parents noticed odd behavior from Clay. They never knew what was wrong with him until about 2 years ago, he was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Aspergers makes people very socially uncomfortable as you can see with Clay, but it also makes them very good at a particular activity. This clip of him on E60 is a must watch, click photo below.

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I Want That! – Cars You Will Never Own

17 Aug 2009, written by Revelation 0 Comments

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O hello, look it’s James Bonds new car, and guess what, it will only be James Bond’s car because you will never be able to afford it. This is an Aston Martin One-77 that runs a cool $1.4 million dollars but also boasts a 7.3-liter V12, a carbon fiber chassis, a handcrafted aluminum body, and performance to match — including a 0-60 time of 3.5 seconds and a top speed of over 200 mph. Go back to playing Goldeneye on N64 and forget Bond’s car.
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Want a new supercharged, super awesome, supercar? Well sorry buddy but unless you got $185,000 your going to have to keep pushing your Toyota Tercel like a tough ass. Take a look at the Saleen S5S Raptor. This beast of a car delivers 650 horsepower, a 0-60 time of 3.2 seconds, and a top speed of over 200 mph. Choose from a 6-speed manual or paddle shifting. Keep dreaming looser.
So there are some nerds out there who don’t appreciate these cars because they aren’t “environment friendly”. Well let me introduce the Scorpion from Ronn Motor Company. This green machine will run on a 30-40 ratio blend of gas and hydrogen, which provides 40 mpg while still hitting 60 mph in 3.5 seconds. The fuel for the hydrogen-on-demand system is “derived from fracturing water molecules drawn from a small on board water tank, and will not require a high pressure on board storage tank. This tree hugger’s dream’s price tag is still $TBA (to be announced). But you can bet your solar panels and energy efficient appliances that this thing isn’t going to be cheap.
Silver bullet screaming speed? I think Mercedes-Benz McLaren SLR Stirling Moss does just that. Truly a unique vehicle sporting no windshield, no roof, “swing wing” doors, and a mean styled carbon fiber body. Powered by a 650 hp supercharged V8 and limited to just 75 cars it is named after the legendary driver Stirling Moss. You can achieve a top speed of 217 mph, but the only silver bullet you will ever touch is that skunk Coors Light in your fridge.

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Moped Gangs…..Coming To A City Near You.

14 Aug 2009, written by 0 Comments

The Hells Angels might be the toughest gang on two wheels, but they ain’t the hippest.  Moped gangs are quickly taking that title.  I’m not talking about the suburban kids too young for a drivers license.  I’m talking about 20 somethings and young professionals by day, hipster peddlers by night.  Their not effiminate men riding scooters either.  They got ink, slug beers and have weird initiations just like other gangs.  According to what I’ve been finding about them they are just like any motorcycle gang without the emphasis on illegal activity.

Orphans Brooklyn NY (Courtesy

Orphans Brooklyn NY (Courtesy

Many cities now have at least one moped gang : Creatures of the Loin (San Francisco), Puddle Cutters (Portland, Oregon), the Tom Cruisers (Tempe, Arizona), Latebirds (Los Angeles), Landsquids (Sacramento, California), Decepticons (Kalamazoo, Michican), Hells Satans (Richmond, Virginia) and more.  Mostly all ride under the united flag of Moped Army. You probably haven’t heard about it because I think these guys like to steer clear of publicity because if this goes the way of the scooter/vespa it will definitely stop being kool.  Couple comments I found on the web from people that I have seen these gangs described them as a pack of screaming bees and bystanders were always startled when they rode up on them, even though they chuckled later.  So that adds some hardness to their credibility as badass gangs.

Mopeds like scooters are on the rise because they are inexpensive transportation.  If I lived in a city I would definitely try to join up with them.   They throw rallys and ride in packs and seems super fun cruising around scaring people and making them laugh at the same time.


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The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus…HOLY SHIT

13 Aug 2009, written by Riz 2 Comments

Is it weird that while watching this trailer I got super stoked, then super sad all in under 2 minutes? This trailer for The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is unreal in almost every way. Stunning visual effects? Check. An all star line up? Check. A really cool and legit story line? Check.

The film follows the leader of a travelling theatre troupe who, having made a deal with the Devil, travels through a magical mirror to explore their imaginations. After Ledgers death, production was stopped on the film, until the story was rewritten to have Judd Law, Johnny Depp, and Colin Farrell portray the new idea of transformed versions of Ledger’s character traveling through a magical realm. This movie will give fans one last chance to see Heath Ledger at his best. All of the credit for this movie getting finished should be given Law, Depp and Farrell. They did this movie in Ledgers memory, and even donated their salaries to Matilda Ledger, Heath’s daughter.

(props to Mia for having a lady boner for Johnny Depp. If she didn’t, I might not have seen this clip so soon)

Sign Up With Blockbuster, Get 50% Off First Month.

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Do You Smell Like a Ballbag? “Aspray” This is NOT a Joke.

12 Aug 2009, written by 0 Comments

I want that! Product Review, syke!  If you stink all over you might need this “all over” deodorant Aspray. Yea this is a not joke you can buy it here. THIS VIDEO IS REAL!  If your sac or vag stinks that bad you need to hose em down with this shit you might need to start rethinking your lifestyle.   Though I might need to try this regardless.   I can’t wait for this infomercial to hit TV.  On second thought this could just be clever marketing they had to know this would go viral. 

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I Want That! – Confederate P120 Fighter Combat

12 Aug 2009, written by Riz 0 Comments

We here at ZootPatrol recently added a new category called ” I Want That!”. What we basically are going to be posting on are products that either are way to classy for us, or things that we will never be able to afford in our wildest dreams. The Confederate P120 Fighter Combat falls into the ladder.

Setting the bar ultra high, the luxury motorcycle manufacturing company, Confederate, is gearing up to roll out it’s latest luxury machine at the Quail Motorsports Gathering in Carmel California this month: the P120 Fighter Combat. This beast from the future is made from a lightweight aluminum frame that hugs an obviously massive engine, yet manages to maintain a somewhat graceful silhouette. This bike is right out of iRobot and is sure to turn some heads and sprain some necks in the process. Confederate, known for celebrating the art of rebellion, has not yet marked a price on this new beauty – but I’m guessing you’re not going to see too many of these on the streets of your cities, especially since production on this bike is limited to 45!



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New Facebook Search function = the start of crushing Twitter.

11 Aug 2009, written by 0 Comments

Not that Facebook needs to do anything less than exist in order to out compete Twitter.  I mean seriously, 60% of twitter users drop it within a month and it only works as a marketing tool for celebs.  Twitter is set to be the next Friendster and out of our lives within 2 years.  But in the fast pace world of online advertising facebook had to do something just to ensure they destroy twitter.  Some of you may have noticed a new search functionality on FB yesterday.  In short, you can now search all of facebook as well as just your network ” the Everyone filter”. Go search something on FB you’ll see what I’m talking about it. Now you can follow everything just like Twitter, hooray! syke who cares.

Twitter vs Facebook Pictures, Images and Photos

Facebook also just acquired FriendFreed last week. FriendFeed boasts all the big engineer guns from Google Maps and the point is to connect all a users social media in one place. Just think your twitter, facebook, myspace, adult friend finder, all in one place. Your head would fucking explode! But not from information probably cause your ego is too big!

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Pardon Me While I Tell You About Incubus

11 Aug 2009, written by Revelation 0 Comments

You see what I did with the title there clever right, yea I know. Anyway, everyone knows Incubus whether it be a song or two, or you are a hardcore fan all the way back to the first studio album “Enjoy Incubus”. What I want to explain to everyone is how good they are live. They played non stop for 2 hours, with a few little breaks to talk to the crowd, which included a loud “boooooo” when they mentioned Philly. What was most surprising about the night is that they played a song called “The Warmth” which is rarely ever played live. It is hard to classify Incubus to a specific genre, most say alternative rock, but you have to praise their ambition for unique sounds and ever changing style. In the show at PNC Bank Arts Center in New Jersey they used a variety of instruments including a djembe, sitar, didgeridoo, and bongos. I don’t know what the hell any of those things are, but they used them, and they sounded great! Enjoy the video we took at the concert featuring the full length song “The Warmth”.

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UPDATE: Sorry I forgot to include the setlist, which was the best thing about the concert, songs listed below in order of course.(Information courtesy of sj)
Pardon Me
Nice to Know You
Love Hurts
Just a Phase
Talk Shows On Mute
Oil & Water
A Kiss To Send Us Off
Wish You Were Here
Aqueous Transmission
The Warmth
Sick Sad Little World
Let’s Go Crazy (Prince Cover)

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The Best Dancer In The World

11 Aug 2009, written by Revelation 3 Comments

No description really needed but feast your eyes on the greatest dancer to ever live on planet Earth. If you aren’t feeling his moves your brain must not be advanced enough to understand the sheer energy coming off his soul. If he alone wasn’t enough, his clone holds it down hard in the background. If your going to spend 2 and a half minutes doing anything in your life it must be to watch this incredible dance session. At 0:59 seconds he drops the fucking hammer so hard for a short period the Earth’s rotation stops.

For an honorary mention of an awesome showcase of dance skill and determination see video below. See how a dance party is really started

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Nike SB- Today Was A Good Day

10 Aug 2009, written by Riz 1 Comments

To celebrate the release of Paul Rodriguez’s third shoe, Nike SB has produced a new commercial titled “Today Was a Good Day.” This is the newly released extended version which features Eric Koston, Kobe Bryant, Ice Cube, Lance Mountain and Theotis Beasley. It starts off the same way as Cubes original “Today Was a Good Day” video, and follows P-Rod and his friends though L.A. If Nike keeps putting in this kind of effort with each release of a new P-Rod skate shoe then I will be happy. Enjoy!

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