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Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg Are Back With “Threeway” Featuring Lady Gaga

23 May 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

The Dick in a box and Mother Fuckers guys are back, Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg that is. There third song is just as hilarious as the previous two called “Threeway” featuring Lady Gaga. The song lays down the rules of three-ways and explains the exception of having sex with another dude involved, it’s not gay if there’s a chick in between apparently.

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I Want That! WeWOOD Watches

23 May 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

I don’t know if it is because I am hard to impress with cool stuff, or I just see so many gnarley things searching for stuff for zoot that I have become numb, but this is a product that really got me excited. The company is called WeWood and they make watches that are made completely from natural wood. Feel the difference nature can bring. Completely absent of artificial or toxic material. The best part about these time pieces is that when you buy one, they will plant a tree because of your purchase. They have partnered up with tree planters, American Forest, the nations oldest non profit conservation organization. One Watch One Tree One Planet is their moto, and not only are these watches impacted the Earth in a amazing way, they are also friggen awesome looking, double whammy. They range from $119 to $139 and are available for men and women. My birthday is coming up so if anyone wants to buy me one I won’t be upset, thanks. Go to their website found here to get yours, and mine.

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Japan’s New Sport, Boutaoshi

20 May 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

The Japanese have apparently taken the game King of the Hill, substituted a wooden poll, and added copious, copious amounts of ultraviolence . I’m pretty sure the refs only exist to make sure that nobody wields their leather protective headgear as a weapon. But of course Japan is at the forefront of crazy wilf insane things to do, I want to play, I obviously would be the guy just balancing on the top of the pole while my friends got their asses kicked trying to protect me.

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The Honest Dating Profile Of A Non-Murderer

20 May 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments


(click image to enlarge)

This guy is trying to find a date, and I want to be 100% clear since we are helping him find a girl, HE IS NOT A MURDERER, so go head ladies, give this strapping young stud a chance, and we promise you wont get murdered.

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Solid Read. “The True Adventures of The World’s Greatest Stuntman”

19 May 2011, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 Comments


Vic Armstrong started in a world of live action movies and is now working in a world of CGI where more actors are doing their own stunts and the stuntman profession is clinging to life. Dubbed the worlds most famous stuntman, Vic Armstrong has done stunts for 007, Indiana Jones and Superman. His most famous scenes included the bridge scene “See You Hell!” from Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom and the tank chase scenes of Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. He now spends most of his time directing stunts for movies like Thor, Spiderman and The Green Hornet. Vic chronicles his work of the last forty years in his book “The True Adventures of the World’s Greatest Stuntman”. Whats bugging me is that live action is what made Indiana Jones great and CGI is what ruined Indiana Jones The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Swinging through the jungle on vines with monkeys, come on get real. That one scene destroyed any hope the movie had of not scarring the franchise permanently.


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Waka Flocka Baby

18 May 2011, written by Riz 0 Comments

This is pretty much how I wake up for work every morning, so I dont really know what all of the fuss is about.

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Rip Curl Pro 2011

18 May 2011, written by Riz 0 Comments

The last day of competition from this year’s Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach competition, shot from the air with a Go Pro-equipped remote control quadrocopter.

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Top Gun Turns 25. “You Can Ride My Tail Anytime!”

16 May 2011, written by ZootPatrol.com 0 Comments


Top Gun was released May 16th 1986 and turns 25 today. Here’s a classic Quentin Tarantino monologue giving his take on the homo erotic undertones of it from the never heard of 1994 romcom “Sleep With Me”.

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This Art Is Bananas, Literally

16 May 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

This is pretty awesome but it creeps me out at the same time. All I can imagine is an army of these slimy banana faces hunting me down and murdering me. Speaking of bananas, it might be the hardest word in the world to spell, I honestly thought there was 37 na na’s in there. Ok back to work ma-nah-jayyyyyyy (ja-rule voice)

See more creepy yet awesome banana sculptures below
(more…)

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9 Deadly Words Used By Women Translated For Men

16 May 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Women have a weird way of saying one thing and meaning something completely different, so I think it would be beneficial to give our readers a head sup, because if you are not careful you can think you are doing everything right, when in actuality you are in a shitstorm.

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

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