Women say a lot with their underwear. Unfortunately, they say a lot with their mouths, too. KIDDING! Back to the underpants. If you’re not familiar with women’s underwear, this guide is meant to help you out. All of us here at Zoot are total Casanova’s (and/or laundry thieves) so we were easily able to pool our weekend research and come up with a handy list of what a woman’s undergarments are trying to tell you. They’re listed in a kind of handy relationship timeline. Follow along closely, virgins.
Congratulations, you bagged a stripper. I’ve only ever seen a pair of these on a woman twice, and both times, I spent all my money. Chances are, when you take a woman home and she’s wearing a pair of these, she’ll tell you “I don’t normally do this”. She’s lying. Follow through, but be careful. If you’re nice to her, or just the right kind of mean, you’ll get to see her in a thong.
You’ve gone just beyond booty call and now you’re the most frequently dialed number in her phone after midnight. These say “Treat me like we’re in a cinemax movie.” These don’t get frequent play, because they look only slightly more comfortable than the aforementioned vagina-floss style panties.
Continue the panty timeline below
This is a super recent colorization of Malcolm Browne’s iconic 1963 photo of a Vietnamese Mahayana Buddhist monk’s self-immolation is both technically impressive and terrifying. Its amazing what some color can do. When its black and white, all you see is some old photo (and the Rage Against the Machine cover) but when its color, it really brings it to life with emotion.
It’s not the best time to be looking for a job and it could get pretty frustrating, especially if you know you would be a great fit for the job you’re applying for. These days it doesn’t matter how qualified you are, in fact you are probably over qualified. Well this guy pretty much has had enough of applying for jobs the traditional way and decided to put a truthful and very extensive application for work on craigslist and it is amazing, enjoy.
The greatest job application ever continued below
Christian Bale’s latest performance in “The Fighter” is nothing short of amazing. I seriously recommend seeing the movie, the acting is really remarkable as Bale plays a meth addict who is Walberg’s character’s brother and trainer. But this isn’t Bale’s first time of dropping weight and totally transforming his image. Film reader Matt Ellerbrock has created an info-graphic showing how Bale has transformed himself for different roles over the years.
“With the recent release of David O. Russell’s “The Fighter,” starring Mark Walberg and Christian Bale, I’ve often found myself explaining to friends and family the incredible body transformations Christian Bale has gone through since filming “The Machinist” (2004). I typically resort to googling images of the actor to compare, and have done this enough to discover that there are some composite images from a few of Bale’s roles, but nothing comes close to showing us a more complete picture of just what he’s gone through over the last 8 years of his career. This image is my attempt to remedy that.”
According to these signs, every single onen of us is absolutely and undeniably screwed. Given that there are countless other belief systems in the world, and how these churches choose to communicate their awesome, sometimes-unintentionally hilarious message, here are all the most offensive, heinous and insulting church signs ever — all put into one list.
More great signs below
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out”?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would ever eat?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
If Jimmy cracks corn and noone cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
More hilarious and thought provoking life mysteries below
Here is the first single “H.A.M.” off the anticipated collaboration CD from Kanye and Jay-Z called “Watch the Throne”. Hopefully this superstar collabo goes better for Jay-Z than that terrible Best of Both Worlds CD with R. Kelly.
Check out this incredible floating stage on Lake Constance in Bregenz, Austria. The Bregenzer Festspiele (Bregenz Festival) has become renowned for its unconventional staging of shows. Verdi’s opera, “A Masked Ball” in 1999, featured a giant book being read by a skeleton.
Disappointed with NASA’s lack of ability to “share their hopes and dreams in a way the public can relate to”, Youtuber Damewse made a video to help give the space agency’s hurting media department a bump in the right direction. If you wanted to be an astronaut when you were younger and you’re not one, get ready to be disappointed with your career choices.
Designed by Mr-R aka Carlos, this bad ass Chuck Norris shirt is hilarious. You really didn’t think you could actually wear a t-shirt of Chuck Norris did you, Chuck is too powerful for that nonsense, he wears you as he pleases. You can check out the artist’s website for more of his art and designs found here.