Having hair is pretty awesome, I’m lucky enough to still have a full head of hair even though I’m starting to get more gray hairs on the side of my head then Paulie Gualtieri from the Sopranos. When you have a nice head of hair why not take advantage of it and show the world how insane you are with a bizarre haircut, that’s always cool, here are the top 10 athletes that took advantage of the freedom of the haircut.
Scot Pollard, retired NBA player. The man with the most bizarre haircuts during his whole NBA career. Here with a tiny blond (or orange) Mohawk.
By now we all have seen Lebrons Nike commercial, where he lays it all on the table and calls himself out for his decisions. He pokes fun at some of the haters who have rallied against him (my bro being the leader of the pack) and makes a good point in saying, maybe I am everything people said I was. Maybe you said that, and not me. Well, shit just got real. Someone mashed up a 3 year old Jordan commercial, with Lebrons newest Tiger Woods rip off commercial, and put together 1 minute and 12 seconds worth of chills. You have to feel a little bad for Lebron on this one though. Michael Jordan, his life long idol is in a commercial telling him he is making excuses. Thats brutal any way you cut it. Lorrry Fat Pippen.
With cars and airplanes and iPhones, it seems that the world we live in just keeps getting better and brighter (with the exception of a fledgling world economy, countries with less of a GNP than Apple, adult onset diabetes, cancer, US magazine, Swine Flu, etc.). But that’s not always the case when you really think about it. Sure, we don’t have to worry about the plague or invading Mongols, but sometimes I wish I did when compared to these tortuous modern activities.
7 Getting waited on at the Verizon store
Look, I know everybody has cell phones. I still can’t figure out how a company can have five stores in a three-mile radius and I still have to take a number and wait a half an hour before I can go through the long and complicated process of upgrading my phone without mysteriously having to update my current contract another seven years. I think you do it on purpose, Verizon.
That’s why while you’re taking your sweet time waiting on the blonde in the mini-skirt, I have gone around to every individual phone in your store set the alarms. The first five phones go off in increments of one minute. Then five minutes later another bank of phones go off in the same increments as the first group of phones. I leave the next bank with the alarms off to give you a false sense of security. And then two minutes later — all the alarms on the rest of the phones in the store go off at the same time.
6 Trying to leave the parking lot after a sporting event or concert
Is there anything more arduous and lawless than having than having to leave a professional sporting event race thousands of other people like out of a sports arena to a chilly car while crawling though hordes of ecstatic drunk people that you wish you were drunk as, but you’re too busy trying to escape the abyss of red lights and douchebags in Hummers cutting you off. And if you’re lucky enough to be driving a car full of people who are drunk and are screaming in your ear about going to Waffle House…this is why cabs were invented, guy. And don’t be afraid to make anyone walk home.
Asking most Americans why they love Thanksgiving Day football is like asking most humans why they are so fond of oxygen. It’s been with us so long that we take it for granted. We just know that one special Thursday in November would be really strange without it. Not content with that explanation? Here are 9 reasons that we love football with our turkey.
9. There is NOTHING Else to Do
I’m not being dramatic here. If you’re not drinking wine or beer (or soda, if you’re an ex-addict or toddler) and posted up in front of the TV, what exactly are you doing? The only other activity on this day is cooking, which used to be almost the sole domain of the ladies. In this era of shifting gender dynamics, it’s feasible that men could be cooking as well. But there should be a TV in the kitchen, at least.
8. It Shifts the Focus From Family Interaction
Getting the family together is a wonderful thing. On paper. On paper, families are loving, understanding, and long for the comfort that only blood relations can provide. In reality, families are peppered with jealousy, smugness, and decades of passive-aggression. These emotions are suppressed until the third glass of wine, at which time one of the females in your family will cry. But with football, your liberal ass can sit down with your Tea Party cousin and ignore the elephants in the room while discussing how much fun it was to berate the Lions during the Matt Millen era.
We did a nice artistic portrait set of Bill Murray as ever character in Wes Anderson films a while back, found here, but it is a little more convenient when a gif image is created with automatic scrolling images, I like this, I like it a lot.
Everyone is giving thanks for an array of different things today, one day early for some reason, from family to their awesome haircuts, but lets thank the star of the show, the animal that gets slaughtered by the billions today, it really is a mass genocide every year that everyone seems to be cool with, especially me, fuck turkeys. Let’s give thanks for conspicuous consumption with these ass and artery kicking turkeys. The Dunkin’ Donuts stuffed turkey may be the apex of Western Civilization. So here are the top 10 recipes you should prep your turkey for tomorrow’s feast.
1. The TurDunkin’
“Turkey brined in Dunkin Donuts coolattas, stuffed with munchkins and served with coffee gravy and mashed hash browns.” (From Unwholesome Foods)
2. Twelve Bird True Love Roast
“Contains 12 different kinds of bird: large turkey filled with goose, chicken, pheasant, aylesbury and barbary duck, poussin and guinea fowl, partridge, pigeon squab, quail and mallard duck.” (From This Is Why You’re Fat)
Let me start off with saying I hate Starbucks more then any human on Earth can hate Starbucks, I’ll leave it at that before I pop a blood vessel just thinking about the losers that go into those shitholes. So anywayyyyyyy believe it or not but the drink you order at your local Starbucks says a lot about who is actually ordering it. Some might call this racist or classist or sexist, but I like to think it only further enhances Starbucks’ “speed with service” mentality, by knowing exactly what the person is going to order as soon as they walk through the door. Here are how your typical drinks and buyers break down.
What your barista is really thinking:
This person has no idea what they really just ordered and will be back in five minutes saying, “This doesn’t taste the same way as the one at the Shell station.”
Continue reading the list below
Poor guy, the only time he’ll ever meet her and he didn’t even stroke her hair. And that’s why I’m not allowed to meet her again.