When it comes to beer everyone and their mother refers to Oktoberfest as the place to be. Granted there’s no question that Oktoberfest is probably the single coolest drinking festival in the world, that doesn’t mean we don’t have our own parties here in the USA.
You’d be surprised at how much this country celebrates beer other than at fraternity parties and tailgating events. We have a strong affinity and respect for beer and some regions like to show it proudly.
Check out these 6 awesome beer festivals….
1. The World Beer Festival
If you happen to be in the Raleigh, North Carolina area you might want to check out the World Beer Festival. Oddly enough it’s a charity event (for which charity I have no idea) that showcases over 300 Southeast specialty beers from 150 national and international breweries. Get your drink on.
2. Belgium Comes to Cooperstown
You had me at Cooperstown. First of all, any excuse to get to Cooperstown is cool enough. Second of all, held on a Saturday in July, the Belgium comes to Cooperstown features over 200 Belgian style beers that visitors can sample. Plus you can dance around a bonfire!
The rest of the drunken festivals continues below
1. Raped by a Sharpie Marker
No, this isn’t the kind of ” Sharpie Rape ” you see in most schools that really just means getting marked on by a Sharpie (a permanent marker) unexpectedly. This is actual, sexual, penetration; using a Sharpie. In 2002, seven football players from Methodist College in North Carolina were arrested on hazing charges for restraining a freshman, stripping him of his underwear, writing all over his butt and smacking it numerous times. The worst part is that to “seal the deal”, as it were, the player with the most ironic position-name, Antonio Wilkerson (wide receiver for the team) sexually assaulted the freshman athlete with a Sharpie marker after everything had been said and done. He, along with the other Methodist players involved, were suspended after their November 14 arrests and did not partake in the team’s final game; unfortunately because getting benched, or even sitting down, was probably the last thing on the victim’s mind.
2. Cocaine or Dildo: Your Choice
Sororities are just as sexually cruel, if not infinitely moreso, than Fraternities. Looking at this list, it’s apparent that the women in Sororities are more interested in emotional and social humiliation than the males. Males tend to angle towards the physical feats of strength or disgustingness. Both (freely) exercise public humiliation, but the levels of both differ and definitely run deeper in female circles. FOR EXAMPLE…
The Hazing Prevention Center, one of the leading non-profit organizations working to eradicate hazing, receives hundred of emails from traumatized victims of sorority and fraternity hazing. One e-mail was from a girl who reported that she had to either use a dildo in front of all her “sisters” or take a hit of cocaine. So it’s either your morals… or your morals? Or your common sense vs… your common sense? It’s a toss-up, but an elicit drug that can cause permanent brain damage and is HIGHLY illegal or sexual, social, public humiliation? Which would you choose?
See more reasons below why joining a frat or sorority is the funnesttttttttt
That’s right, beer and spirits living together in perfect alcoholic bliss in your pint glass. And here are a few cocktails from Russian Standard Vodka, Flor de Caña Rum and Lucid Absinthe that’ll keep you loving the fun in the sun this weekend.
The Spicy Irishman
1 oz Russian Standard Vodka
1 1/2 oz Lucid Absinthe
1/4 oz Siracha Hot Sauce
Topped with Killian’s Irish Red Beer
1 1/2 oz Russian Standard Vodka
3 pieces of Kumquat 1/2 oz Lime Juice
1/2 oz Simple Syrup
Top with Amstel Light Beer
1 1/2 oz Flor de Caña Rum
1/2 oz Blood Orange Puree
1/2 oz Lemon Juice
Top with Guinness Beer
Last step: DRINK
How About a Tall Cool Glass of Winning? I Give You the “Tiger’s Blood with a Dash of Adonis DNA” Cocktail07 Mar 2011, written by Revelation
We found the secret to Charlie Sheen’s endless win streak: Tiger’s blood and Adonis DNA have been hacked, and the recipe is below.
A take on the traditional Bloody Mary, this cocktail was created by the mixologists at the Moroccan restaurant Fifty Five in New York City. And just like Sheen himself, the cocktail is extremely potent. Besides the Bragg Aminos to give you a protein energy kick, there’s heat from ginger, chili peppers, wasabi, and two types of radish. The Glenmorangie Sherry provides the punch, while the olive juice, citrus and balsamic vinegar kick in some high-end flavor. So grab your Goddesses, mix up a few glasses, and prepare yourself for some winning.
Recipe is below, it is friggen gnarley gnarlington
Who knew deadbeat drunk alcoholics were also such phenomenal Yoga practitioners. Also known as Irish Yoga, here is a list of 10 well known and healthy Yoga positions usually performed on a mat during a spiritual relaxing Yoga session, with candles lit and soft guitar music playing. Next to that is that same Yoga position performed by the talented drunks of the world. If you are going to black out and fall asleep somewhere in public you better make sure you are in a relaxing pose to nurse health back to those wobbly legs.
Continue below for more hilarious drunk yoga in action
You’ve heard it before: Ruckus Juice, Mule Kick, Hillbilly Pop, Mountain Dew — the nicknames for moonshine, an often misunderstood spirit of Appalachian heritage. But just like your personal tastes, moonshine has also done its fair share of growing up, thanks to modern craft distillers. Now, the high-proof corn whiskey is not only legally available, but delicious to boot. And yes, it still packs a mighty wallop. Take Ole Smoky Tennessee Moonshine ($25+) for instance. The family company, based in Gatlinburg, TN follows centuries old secret recipes to create a superior moonshine using local ingredients from East Tennessee farms. Their 100 proof shine is even available with batch soaked cherries and sold in mason jars. Yee-haw, indeed. You can buy it here for just $25.
It’s Fridayyyy babyyyy, so that means it’s time to drink and maybe it’s your birthday. Maybe you’re low on cash and somebody offers to buy you one of these shots. Whatever the case may be, avoid these shots at all costs or you’ll find yourself visiting the porcelain god. But at the same time, you aren’t really going to turn down a free shot of alcohol, even if it is called Gorilla Puke, are you, yea didn’t think so you alcoholic.
- 1½ oz. Barcardi 151
- Worcestershire Sauce
The rest of the gross shots below
Ben Franklin turned 305 a couple days ago and to celebrate, here’s a list of expressions meaning “inebriated” that Franklin first published in the Pennsylvania Gazette on January 6, 1737, apparently he loved getting shit faced. But first a quote from Mr. Franklin himself to get started.
“The Phrases in this Dictionary are not (like most of our Terms of Art) borrow’d from Foreign Languages, neither are they collected from the Writings of the Learned in our own, but gather’d wholly from the modern Tavern-Conversation of Tiplers. I do not doubt but that there are many more in use; and I was even tempted to add a new one my self under the Letter B, to wit, Brutify’d: But upon Consideration, I fear’d being guilty of Injustice to the Brute Creation, if I represented Drunkenness as a beastly Vice, since, ’tis well-known, that the Brutes are in general a very sober sort of People.”
The Drinkers Dictionary
He is Addled,
He’s casting up his Accounts,
He’s in his Airs.
Block and Block,
Been at Barbadoes,
Piss’d in the Brook,
Drunk as a Wheel-Barrow,
Has Stole a Manchet out of the Brewer’s Basket,
His Head is full of Bees,
Has been in the Bibbing Plot,
Has drank more than he has bled,
As Drunk as a Beggar,
He sees the Bears,
He’s kiss’d black Betty,
He’s had a Thump over the Head with Sampson’s Jawbone,
The rest of the list in alphabetical order continues below
By now I think everyone knows that America and Iran are a little different, and with that comes different rules and laws. Here is a long list of things that are illegal in Iran. While I understand some of the things on this list like alcohol and pork, whatever floats your boat Iran, but why Kenny G, WHY MAKE KENNY G ILLEGAL IRAN! He is a good guy and he can play the shit out of a saxophone. Give Kenny G 5 minutes on a stage in front of your people Iran and he will become legal real quick, that or half the female population will get pregnant instantly after he toots that groovy music. I would make commentary on everything on this list but I don’t want a durka durka Muhammad jihad put on zootpatrol, so I will let the list do the talking.
Many many more bizarre things that are illegal in Iran below