Ever since the real Scottie Pipper came out and said that Fat Pippen (Lebron James) is the greatest player of all time, a lot of people have been jumping on that band wagon, especially since it looks like it is the enevitable that he will finally win a ring with an all star team. Here is an amazing video reminding everyone of the real greatness, the real airness, MIKE JORDAN. P.S. Hey Lebron, I’m sorry Fat Pippen, fuck off you fat loser.
You know the best part about a basketball game is when someone just gets humiliated by a big dunk in the face. Better yet when one player jumps so high, he puts his nut sack in another man’s face, then drops the hammer down on the guy and slam dunks, while knocking him to the floor, disgraced, with nut sack sweat on his face. Here is a compilation of some of the best “posterize” dunks ever in basketball history. No excuse me I have to get back to Rucker Park to get my dunk on. “GET OFF OF ME NUTSO.”
A lot more examples of poor bastards getting brutally dunked on below.
Sometimes movies don’t need to be huge studio projects to really make you excited to see them. This is the trailer for a Michael Jordan project, called “Invincible”. It will be a movie about MJ’s whole career and will include all the highlights of His Airness. “Invincible” will only be about 10-20 minutes long and it will come out in 2011. Now a days anyone can make a movie with a Mac computer and if your anything like my boy Drew, your going to go nuts when this is finally finished. JORDANNNN!
Talking trash in sports is as American as apple pie, and there are tons of players who take it to another level that the average nice guy can’t comprehend. The myth behind trash talking though is it is always the asshole that no one likes. Of course there are a few villains on this list, but there are also a few guys that you always thought were the nice guy, but on the court or field, they would turn it up so hard that they would make their opponent cry during the game, here are the top 10.
10. Chad Ochocinco
Chad Ochocinco has toned down his trash-talking antics recently, but I don’t think we can ever forget when Ochocinco was constantly ripping on opposing defensive backs. Seriously, you have to be a good trash talker to come up with stuff like that letter you’re looking at. Or to race a horse. Or to send your opponents deodorant so they “don’t sweat” covering you. Or to keep a checklist of cornerbacks who can’t cover you. The man is ridiculous.
I vowed a while back that I would never call him by his real name and would only refer to him as Fat Pippen, because that’s what he is, a fat sidekick. For our new readers I am referring to LeBron James, and he is turning to Nike, like Tiger Woods did, to rebuild his image. We weighed in on his decision here, and why it was a terrible one, and he is still whining like a fat balding baby, seriously he is balding faster than a un-watered Chia Pet.
If you’re keeping count, there’s a Decision reference in that ad, a nod to the time he left his local high school for a stronger program in Akron as a teen, a Charles Barkley (“hi Chuck!”) reference, a Miami Vice redux with Don Johnson in tow (what, Nike could meet Philip Michael Thomas’ demands?), and James also gets to dress up like a cowboy, a beatnik, and a construction worker. And then he tries to get us to feel sorry for him because we judged him by our own set of values this summer.
LeBron? You still screwed up. You did the right thing going to the better team and taking less money to do it, but you completely and utterly blew the execution behind the whole move. You listened to your friends (because, as the ad states, “they’re [your] friends”), and your friends led you astray. This is pretty much how it’s always gone for every narcissist, in whatever forum, that surrounded themselves with yes-men.
Some people take sport to a higher level and make it art. Justin Darlington and Guy Dupuy try to do this during a dunking contest and in my eyes they succeed with honors. This is one of the best head to head dunk contests I’ve ever seen, of course Jordan vs Wilkins taking the cake but come on throw these kids a bone. What makes this contest unique is the creativity of the dunks pulled off, some of which I’ve never seen before. I especially enjoy the rushing of the court by the crowd after every dunk, it adds a great touch.
I have always hated Lebron James, even before he got into the NBA, with that said I think he is the best player in the league. I’ve always hated his cockiness and his attitude for no apparent reason really, he seems like a fun and cool guy, but I just don’t like him. Lebron decided last night he will be joining Dwayne Wade’s team, which it is and always will be, down in Miami. They will be accompanied by Chris Bosh making them a mini Dream Team of some sorts. Lebron joining Wade now makes him a Fat Scottie Pippen, and that is what I will be calling him for the next ten years from here on out. Fat Pippen decided to pass on New York, turning down a 40 million dollar check from Nike and the projected 1 billion dollars he was set to make in his career if he joined the Knicks. So you can’t say he made the move for the money, he clearly made the move to win championships and live the good life in Miami, but I have a problem with both of those choices, here’s why.
Growing up an athlete, and a super fine one at that, I have always been a fan of sports movies. Especially ones with heros that are quiet underdogs. This morning, I got to thinking, If I was to comprise an allstar team of the greatest sports movies athletes, who would I want on my squad. Alot of things come into play. Size, speed, determination, work ethic, and of course, the ability to be showtime at any given moment.
Going first round, without a doubt in my mind is Earl “The Goat” Manigault. Hailing from Harlem, this kid was born with the kind of toughness that can not be taught. At 6’1, he is a sleeper, but get him in the open court, and its showtime all day everyday. Legend has it he could pick dollar bills off the top of the backboard, and make change on the way down. This would account for a 60+ inch vert, which is pretty unreal when you think about it. He was famous for his double dunk which I can’t even imagine a modern day baller pulling off. What also makes the Goat a solid draft choice is he was never blinded by the light of fame, only the Heroin. He passed on roughly 75 big time scholerships, to ill in his old hood and hustle for drugs. He still goes number 1 because I think having that kinda of un tamed edge is important to build a squad around, and its comforting to know that he can not be compromised by big time agents.
Coming in at number 2 is undoubably the one and only Teenwolf. I base this pick based purely on intimidation factor. The Wolf has an appearance that has never been seen before on the hardwood. He tends to beast out and his eyes turn red when he gets in the zone, surely a daunting task for any defender. The Wolf is a little rough around the edges, and still needs to understand the concept of team ball, but with help, him and The Goat make up one unstoppable backcourt, also it keeps with animal nicknames, which is kinda cool.
Dog groom this suckkaaa
With the backcourt set, I turn my attention to the Center position. When trying to look for the skills needed to fill this roll, I look for 3 main factors. Size, Power, and Touch. 1 player comes to mind. Neon Boudreaux. Standing 7 foot 1, and coming in at roughly 300 pounds, there hasnt been a force like him, ever. Found in the deep Louisianna swamps, the only way to see Neon dominate the local competition is to take a boat into the unknown. After walking into the barn/basketball court, it is clear why Neon goes as the #1 big man. He attacks the basket with a furry never seen before, and seems to only be interested in one thing, punishing the goal. His main set back is that his brain has developed to that of an 8 year old. His SAT scores are so low he is not eligable for college ball, which is unreal based on the fact you get 500 points for spelling your name correctly. Ill give him a pass though, because spelling French last names is always a challenge. BUt lets face facts, were not building rockets, were dominating the hardwood, and for that, Neon gets an A+
I didnt know you spoke spanish
Now, on to the forwards. What more can be said about the position, you need it all. The ability to rebound, block shots, box out, score, assist, and mix it up with the likes of other truck like men who are only interested in inflicting pain on you in the trenches. This is where Saleh, from The Air up There comes in. Coming straight out of Africa, this guy has more raw talent than Neon. He plays on dirt courts, with no shoes, and is uninfluenced by the outside world. He also knows a thing or two about coming through in the cluth. In Africa, they play for more than a winning record, or money, they gamble entire towns. Think about that. If you fuck up, your whole town gets taken over by some outsiders. Try that on for size. But this is the kind of pressure Saleh revels in, and with the support of his new bff, Jimmy Dolan, the sky is the limit for this kid.
“pay attention hippo-breath”
Completing the squad is non other than Tommy Shepherd. Also hailing from the mecca of basketball, this small forward came equipt with all of the skills needed to make him an grade A bluechip. He could shoot, power you down low, and even run the break. Drafting him is a bit of a gamble, based on the fact he is a little unstable mentally. He watched his best friend Nutso fall 10 stories to his death when he slapped the backboard, broke it, and went over the edge. 2 questions about this. 1) Where are there basketball hoops on building roof tops, and 2) how fucking strong was this Nutso character. To BREAK a backboard by slapping it? WOW. If he was still alive, he would finalize the roster, but hes not, so Shep gets the nod. He seems to come around after mentoring the troubled Kyle Watson, and with the Goat on the team, im sure Shep will have his hands full mentoring that drug riddled addict back to health.
“Its more then a game to the Shep”