Turning to a summertime staple, 21st Amendment Brewery‘s ” Hell or High Watermelon Wheat Beer” makes a deliciously surprising option for warmer months. With a pleasant not-too-sweet taste, the golden beverage is light and refreshing with a subtle watermelon nose. The brew gets its hint of fruity flavor from a traditional secondary fermentation using fresh watermelon.

Formerly a draft-only product, the San Francisco, CA-based 21st Amendment recently started packaging the brew in cans so we can start our BBQ fantasies now. Pick up a six-pack from Marty’s here  for $8.

The world’s best dog collar has arrived. The Bark4Beer dog collar features a retractable bottle opener and dog collar combined. That means no more searching for a bottle opener when at a party or sitting on your couch, just call over your 4-legged best friend and start popping bottles. Now all you have to teach your dog is how to actually get in your pickup truck, drive down the street, and pick you up a 12 pack of Natty Light. Buy one today for $14.95 at their website here.

Booze wasn’t always demonized the way it is now by the church, and if you have trouble understanding why, perhaps you should read The Search for God and Guinness: A Biography of the Beer that Changed the World ($17). It tells the story of Arthur Guinness and the Guinness family, from the founding of the brewery and the first Guinness poured through to modern times, focusing on the family’s faith and philanthropy. We recommend grabbing a pint before you dig in so you can really experience the book in full form. 10 Guinness pints later, and after rereading the 1st chapter 6 times without noticing will keep you occupied for a while.

We wouldn’t be going too far out on a limb if we proposed that beer improves just about any situation, even running a marathon. Much to our chagrin though, beer isn’t always allowed in every setting, at least if you’re the rule-following type and don’t live in Montana. But as the saying goes, where there’s a will there’s a way, and, thanks to the rocket scientists over at Cooler Fun LLC, the Beer Belly is your freedom pass to hops-inspired levity, anytime, anywhere. Designed to be hidden under clothing, the beer belly consists of a 80oz wide-mouthed bladder and a neoprene, skin-toned sling. Simply put it on, fill it up, and throw concerns for personal image out the window along with a small component of self respect – from there you’re good to go. So forget waiting on those long lines, we found a solution for you.(You can buy it here.)

I have always been a fan of rating things. I like to call out my favorites, and let people know why. Last week I picked my top 5 fantasy basketballers from movieland, and drafted one unstoppable squad. This week, I will try and top that feat by mocking up another draft.

Tomorrow I will be entering a flip cup tournament in Hoboken, NJ. For those of you who dont know what flip cup is, stop reading, put your head down, and sprint full speed into a urinal. You are a loser. Flip cup, also know as boat races, is when 2 teams line up, with an equal amount of players, on opposite sides of a table. Each person has a cup with an equal amount of beer. Someone says go, and the person at the end of the table drinks their beer as fast as possible, then tries to flip the cup, using the tips of his fingers, until it lands upside down. When it does, the next guy can go, and so on and so forth until the last person has finish. My squad tomorrow is solid, and I expect nothing short of taking first and heading to Baltimore Maryland for the world series of Flip cup, but I got to thinking, how can my squad be even stronger. The following are my top 5 draft picks for my fantasy drinking squad.

Coming in at number one, is without a doubt, my main man, The Young Einstein, played by Yahoo Serious. Lets get real for a second. If I am putting together a team, whos sole responsibility and number on objective is to drink beer, and to do it fast, Im going to want the guy who fucking invented beer on my team. Young Einstein worked day and night to split an atom, and in the process, created the recipe for beer. So this is an obvious no brainer for me, this dude has been putting away the suds for litterally longer than anyone else in history, so he has a clear cut advantage, and his tolerance has to be extreamly high, which puts him at a huge advantage in the later rounds. Ohh yeah, he also invented Rock N Roll. Which will also come in handy when we take down the crown.

“Lets chug beers and shred the guitar”

My next pick is the most important. With Einstein leading off the team, and acting as captain, I need a henchman, a foot soilder, a warrior. I need someone whos entire attitude is murk beers, all day, every day, and let everything else work itself out. We all have that one friend who never knows when to quit. Who pounds beers until they are 100% blacked out, but still manage to muster up the energy to crack another cold one. With the second pick in this draft, I pick Bluto from Animal House. Does anymore really need to be said? This guy is every college students idol. His entire life revolved around beers, and for that, he is our 2nd round foot soilder. This guy will go to war with a 30 pack, and either come out on top, or die trying, and thats all I can ask of our team.

“fuck music, lets turbo murk beers”

The third spot in the line up is tricky. You need someone who is calm, but also has the ability to turn it on if we are down. The obvious selction for the third spot in our line up is non other than The Dude. I know what your thinking, The Dude drinks white russians, not beers. But hold on a second. Think about what you are saying. The Dude drinks vodka and milk, Im sure he can handle a few mouth fulls of beer. His attitude makes him the perfect middleman for our team. He is calm enough to not be rattled if we are a bit behind, but he possesses the alcoholic gene with allows him to turn it on and up and any given moment. We salute you Dude.

DUDE!!!

Next is the gamble pick. Willie, from Bad Santa is such a drunk he cant even manage to get to work and play Santa for the kids. He gets so tuned up, he cant stand the look a fake Donkey is giving him, and so he does what any self respecting drunk would do, destroy it and its Donkey friend in a matter of seconds. Id also like to point out that his friend the midget, Marcus will be acting as team coach. He drops some amazing lines at the end of this clip. He will certainly be an advantage, as he will undoubtably be getting into the heads of our comp.

“In case you havent noticed, im 3 feet mother fuckin tall”

Rounding out the roster for Team Wolf Den/Shark Tank is the one and only Drugs Delanie. Drugs hails from Providence, RI, and for anyone on the East coast, you know what a shithole that place is. If you grow in in Providence, you better be good at partying, or the wolves will get you. Drugs’ main strength is in the drugs (obviously) but he is known to get cocked on a bottle of blackberry brandy. Drugs takes the roll of anchor because he is everything that you can ask for in a team player. Focuses entirly on getting the job done. Drafting drugs is also a bit of a gamble because he is know to sometimes take his drug use to the extream. He has also been dead for sometime, so expecting him to contribute right away is a long shot. He will most likly turn it on in the later rounds, so dont expect him to pull out any close ones that come down to the wire. With the rest of the team operating as one unit, I dont see Drugs having anything less that at least a 2 person lead going into the final cup.

“Whats your problem Delainy?”
” IM TOTALLY FUCKED, MANNNN”

Wish us luck, Wolf Den/ Shark tank will be doing its best to win the Hoboken leg of the circuit and in doing so, will be on their way to Charm City to take on the best the East Coast has to offer. I will report back next week with our final standing, and an update on how the newly drafted Shark members did in their first outting as a unit.