Here is a classic hilarious Craigslist posting from a man confronting the man his wife is cheating on him with. The original posting on craigslist can be seen here. You would think it would be a rage fueled rant, wanting to kill the guy, but instead it is a list of things to do, so both men can be happy, hilarious.
To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?
5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
Hilariousness continues below
Political sex scandals are as old as time. For centuries -– eons really -– power has been proven to be the ultimate aphrodisiac. Indeed, from Caesar and Cleopatra to King Henry VIII and the headless bodies of his many wives, sex scandals have rocked the civilized world. Of course, our very own presidents have etched their names into the annals of those renowned historical texts like Penthouse and Hustler, proving yet again that even the rich and powerful –- or maybe especially the rich and the powerful –- are prey to the whims of their, uh, little presidents. The following is a list of eight United States presidents who failed to veto the legislation put before them by the legislature, and by the legislature, I of course mean their penises.
THE STORY: In 1914, old Woody found himself a lonely old widower after his first wife, Ellen, died in August. Less than a year later, he was engaged to the widow Edith Bolling Galt. Sounds rather ordinary, right? Not so fast. Unfortunately for Wilson, he was the President of the United States and therefore had the civilized world constantly up his ass over every little thing he did. And, unfortunately for Wilson, that civilized world tended to frown upon getting hitched so soon after the death of his first wife. Predictably, it wasn’t long before all sorts of rumors flew around about Wilson cheating on his first wife before she died and some people even suggested that he killed her to clear the path so he and Edith could be together. Damn.
THE AFTERMATH: Wilson was president, not some schmuck, and so he married Edith anyway, presumably while holding a giant middle finger aloft for all his critics to see. The couple stayed together until his death in 1924 and after Wilson suffered a stroke in 1919, Edith actually took over many of his duties, acting as sort of a regent for the incapacitated president. I guess that shut some people up.
Here is another gem found on lamebook.com. This poor lady was so happy to be getting friend requests from old friends and then BAM, facebook shows how ugly it can get with this hilarious back and forth conversation on her wall between a recently divorced couple.
Elin Woods, I feel for you. Getting cheated on is the most sickening feeling I’ve ever felt. Not only do you feel absolutely betrayed, but you view yourself as completely worthless. I remember how stupid I was with my first ‘real’ girlfriend. It makes me ill to remember the person I was while dating her. What a vagina. We once had a phone conversation during the winter break of my freshman year of college that went a little something like this.
Ricky: I hope you like those flowers I sent to your house. I sent them on a Monday so all your girlies could be jealous all week. Where are ya? Are you on the treadmill? You sound winded.
Pookie: O, just at a friend’s place.
Ricky: Are you at Cindy’s or Jess’?
Ricky: Well where are you sills nills?
Pookie: I’m actually at Dusty’s. He threatened to kill himself again if I didn’t see him. I’m the only one who can make him feel better.
Ricky: O…I don’t really like you going over to your ex-boyfriend’s, but I trust you. Tell him to feel better. When can I meet him? I know he’s still one of your best friends.
(4-5 second silence)
Ricky: Hello? Hello? Pooks?
Dusty: Hey man this is Dusty. Listen, Pookie doesn’t want to be with you anymore. She’s back with me now.
Ricky: What? We just made sweet love last week after the holiday cruise. I don’t believe you!
Dustin: Love? That’s funny. I mean it’s cute and all, but we just fucked.
Ricky: (bitchy crying voice) Why are you doing this?
Pookie: Ricky look…we had sex a bunch of times. What did you think, I was going to marry you? We’re not together anymore. I want to be with Dusty.