Men and women are very different species, but we love each other, so we have to spend every single day with each other. For a lot of us there will be many many frustrating moments with your significant other, because they just don’t get it. Don’t you wish you can pack their bags and send them away to a school to learn the real dos and dont’s. Well here is a hilarious list of courses that should be taught to men and women, get your study on.
Courses for Women
(Taught by men, for women)
101 Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV
102 Doing Housework Without Complaining
103 Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge
104 Going to The Washroom Alone
(formerly Coping Without My Friends)
105 Understanding the Male Response to “Do I Look OK?”
106 Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother
107 Learning How to Initiate Intimacy
108 How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong
109 Understanding the Male Response to “Am I Fat?”
110 Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must
Many more course available for viewing below, as well as courses for men
College is a great place to learn and have fun. But let’s not kid ourselves, some degrees are as useless as the plot in a Michael Bay film. Here’s a list of 10 degrees that may be interesting, but do jack shit for you in the real world.
10. Art History
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or .yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget, your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.
What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.
Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers. I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.
What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.