There is a fantastically stupid new drinking game/contest making the rounds called “Icing” or “Bros Icing Bros.”
The rules are simple: If a dude hands you a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, you have to drop to one knee and chug the entire thing–unless you have a bottle of Smirnoff Ice handy, in which case you can hand it back to your buddy, and he has to drop to one knee and drink both.
I participated in this moronic pastime once and then realized, “Wait a minute: this isn’t some kind of new viral drinking game. Some jagoff at Smirnoff thought this up because it’s the only reason including threat of torture to ever drink the sugary piss beverage known as Smirnoff Ice.”
That’s why I refuse to participate in “Icing” and have invented several new rules for the game.
If you’re presented with a bottle of Smirnoff Ice by a friend, you may:
* Not be his friend anymore
* Slap him hard enough in the face to produce tears
* Empty the bottle of Smirnoff Ice on his first-born child’s head, if he has one (a child that is, not a head, which I’m guessing he has)
* Sleep with his mother
* Drink the Smirnoff Ice fast enough to induce vomiting and then coat his face and neck with fizzy, Smirnoff-scented regurgitation
However, if you’re friend Ices you, and you just happen to have a bottle of Smirnoff Ice handy to give back to him, you may:
* Feel terrible about yourself for having a Smirnoff Ice handy
* Wait until he’s halfway through the second one and then urinate on his head
* Launch into a vicious diatribe, belittling your friend’s juvenile dependence on grade school-quality contests of masculinity developed by Southern Fraternity brothers starved for a means to justify their wilting influence in the rising racially diverse and egalitarian-minded generation from which they’ve begun to feel alienated and obsolete
This collection of the 10 Most Awkward Sports Interviews as determined by ESPN’s Sportscenter has been around for a couple years, but it’s still pretty damn fantastic. It features arguably the greatest moments in the careers of such amazing athletes as Mike Tyson, Shaquille O’Neal, and Joe Namath among others.
Funny compilation of people’s creativity and imagination when it comes to transporting things. I get it if you have to drive a bike 80 miles across the desert you don’t want to make 8 trips, but when your driving a car do you really have to pack it with 5 billion pounds of shit. Again I guess if a month’s pay check puts 2 gallons of gas in your vehicle you want to take advantage of every inch used.
Besides “Big Love”, his show on HBO, Bill Paxton has been out of the major movie scene for a few years. There have been rumors of a Twister remake but who know’s if Paxton will have any part in that. His most memorable characters have been the sneering, sleazy and loud-mouthed kind like “Chet” from Weird Science and the car salesman “Simon” from True Lies. Since those early career roles Paxton has moved to more serious stuff like Apollo 13 (1995) and now Big Love. Long story short I think the world is waiting for the next good Paxton movie, he’s an actor everyone seems to love. In doing some re-search on Paxton, I discovered there is actually a pretty large underground following for his character “Hudson” from Aliens, in which Paxton won The Saturn Award for best supporting actor. No idea what the Saturn Award is though. Here’s to Paxton, the greatest B actor, who gets all the recognition from his fans, but never anything formal. The Aliens montage below is long but watching the progression of his character from a smart ass funny man to a freaked out nervous break down is pretty hilarious and showcases how good of an actor Paxton is. The True Lies clip is just classic comedic Paxton.
If movies would just tell the truth it would be a lot easier to pick a movie to watch. Sometimes titles can be misleading and when you think your about to watch an action packed thriller, you end up watching a bunch of women complain about their sex lives for 2 hours. Here are 10 movies that should have told the truth in their titles to make life easier for everyone.
It was everything you’d imagine a Ron Artest championship interview to be and way, way more. This makes the famed “Say Queensbridge” look like a Gregg Popovich sideline Q&A, and it’s the happiest anyone has ever been. You can’t help to laugh and be happy for a guy I think is one of the leagues most misunderstood individuals. QUEENSBRIDGE QUEENSBRIDGE.
In case you lost track, here’s a quick chronological rundown of all the people thanked by Ron Artest in less than a minute:
Nothing says “hardcore thug” more than putting on your cool face and flashing some bills for the camera. Honestly, we were reluctant to make this post because we feared it will make people realize they look stupid when they do this shit, and honestly, it’s pretty funny. So if you are one of those ‘flash money for the camera’ tards, please continue doing what you’re doing. I will bet none of these idiots have an actual job or money for that matter so keep pimpin playas.
Now let me start with saying I really like Kanye’s music. He is one of the few minds in hip-hop who is still creative and evolving the music industry. With that said he is a complete douche in all other aspects. I don’t like talking shit about celebs because I would probably be acting the same way if I had millions of dollars and access to every party in the world with no repercussions. But when you act like an ass clown 24/7 and have no respect for anyone else, it’s always fun to see that person get worked in one way or another. We here at Zoot put together 5 times where Kanye has got owned by the competition, from Mos Def to President Obama, enjoy.
5. Swizz Beats Owns Kanye at Hot97 Summer Jam
It was over when Swizzy dropped the “Ruff Ryders Anthem”. It was actually over before it started really. I always liked Kanye beats, but when you put them in New York against Swizz Beatz, that’s the all-time set up of the beginning of getting owned.
Coming home drunk and then go online can bring you lots of fun, but also lots of problems second day. This is our top 10 list of things you should avoid doing on Internet if you are drunk.
1. Respond to anything work-related
No matter how capable you think you are, just don’t do it. Any mistake will be instantly explained by the 4am reply time. Besides, alcohol breeds carelessness, and ending an email to an attractive co-worker with a pun on how she’s good at “every job there is” with a winky-face is definitely not a good idea.
2. Chat with family members
Just because your weird step-uncle Dale just got off work from the recycling plant does not mean that it’s the perfect time to organize that trip to insect museum he’s always been bugging you about. This will come back to haunt you in the form of a doorbell ring at 6am the following Sunday.
3. Change your password
Of all the things to forget about the previous night, the fact that your email’s new password is “burgerkingroxxx6969” is one of the most costly.
Props to the Upright Citizens Brigade on this sketch. But in case you have lost track of what’s been happening in the Gulf or are just looking for the latest summary of the past 2 months events, this gives a pretty good yet funny snapshot. If you’re feeling compelled to do something and aren’t ready to quit driving your car, below is an article I found with some links and summaries of organizations where you can get involved.