Like it or not, people will formulate opinions and ideas about you based on their initial observations, like how you dress, who you’re with, and what kind of vehicle you drive. You have to be careful, though, because sometimes the message that you think you’re sending isn’t always the one that people receive. Here’s what your car really says about you:
What You Think It Says: There are three kinds of people in this world: old people, pussies, and people who think that speed limits are for old people and pussies. I’m in the latter category. I live on the edge of my seat all the time. I’m an accomplished guy. I’ve been successful in life and I don’t mind showing it off a little bit. Plus, I saw something on the internet that said chicks are instinctively aroused by the sound of a revving engine.
What It Really Says: Small penis + Midlife Crisis = This Guy.
What You Think It Says: I am a completely normal person. I might have a family, but it consists of no more than two children. Sometimes I have friends that I need to take places. Sometimes I go to the grocery store and buy so much bologna and pickles that I can’t fit it all in my trunk. For these reasons, I require the use of a backseat from time to time, so I have chosen to drive a car that gives me the extra passenger/cargo room while still being economical and compact.
What It Really Says: I’m an unremarkable person who lives alone, unless you count my cat, which I do every year on my taxes. I mark myself down as Head of Household, though. Suck it, Mr. Whiskers!
When you hear the word douchebag you immediately think of a juice head guido fist pumping to DJ Tiesto in a local super market, but gangsta douchebags are a close second, especially when they are white. What puts most of these characters high on the douchebag totem pole is I’m sure they all live with their parents in a nice suburban household, but still think it is cool to wear size 50 Paco jeans and a night gown white tee, I never saw the appeal.
The Knicks new warm up suit.
I cant even come up with something to say about this idiot
Apparently the guy in the video below also keeps his victim’s souls in his fanny pack like Norris, but instead of using roundhouse kicks he uses lighting quick hammer punches. There is nothing I enjoy more than a tough guy running his mouth talking shit like an asshole, and then when it comes down to actually doing something, he gets his face kicked in. Here is a classic case of running your mouth when you can’t come close to backing it up. A 67 year old man wearing a fanny pack just beat your ass…the internet welcomes you. I think what gets me even more mad is the dirt-bags behind the camera who actually steal the guys bag after the fight and immediately rob what he has in there, ridiculous.
So if you never heard of Chatroulette, it is a new up and coming website that automatically connects you via webcam with a complete stranger. You have the option to turn your camera and sound off, but then whats the point. As you get connected with a complete stranger you have the option of immediately hitting the “next” button to go on to the next stranger, or you can simply start talking or whatever you want to do with your new web cam connection, sounds awkward and creepy right, well it is, and I loved it. Now before you think I’m some kind of weirdo let me give you some advice and tips so make this website a good time.
Above is a pretty accurate graph depicting my experience while I was cruising on Chatroulette this past weekend. The average age of users is mid twenties, with only a few “kids”, which I got to witness a 10 year old black kid break dance and do this awesome military salute dance that I will defiantly be using in the clubs next weekend. (more…)
Valentine’s Day is this Sunday, which means that this week you’ll be on a quest for a gift that will get you laid without implying too much. The Valentine’s Day gift that you give your girlfriend says a lot about your relationship, and if you’re not careful your gift might send the wrong message. Here’s what her Valentine’s Day gift really says:
The Practical Gift:
What You Think It Says:
We’ve only been together for a short time, and I didn’t want to intimidate you by getting you something lavish and expensive, so instead I got you something that you can actually use a few times until it breaks!
What It Really Says:
We’ve only been dating for a month. There’s no way I’m gonna empty my bank account for your gift just yet. The item that you received from me was either a re-gift that I got from my weird cousin for Christmas, or it was right by the register at Walgreens, where I stopped to buy condoms on my way over to your place.
The Expensive Gift:
We have all heard the expression “Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer”. Well, apparently there is some truth to the expression. At this point everyone knows there are some real assholes on the internet, but sometimes those guys give us some comical material. Check out the questions and the answers in these photos, which are from Yahoo Answers.
I know we rag on annoying and ridiculous Facebook users a lot, but this list of “How to Suck at Face” via the Oatmeal was too accurate not too share. Not to mention the simplistic art work that accompanies the info is pretty funny. Let’s just say we are trying to spread the word of people’s outrageous behavior on the book, to make it a better and safer place for all users, enjoy.
Now I have to admit I’m not a huge fan of playing beer pong anymore, but in college I was a straight shooter. My favorite part of beer pong was completely destroying everything on the table by superman diving across the room and throwing down a Charles Barkley dunk on the cups. The video below has to be an early entry into funniest videos of 2010. Every second of it reminds me of college and the dumb shit I used to do with my friends.
A picture says a thousand words, but music is what can truly heighten emotions. Whether it is an dramatic score like the one from ET, an eerie repitition like that of Jaws, or some circus music like in the next clip shot in Boston’s North Station.
The test is to first just watch the clip to see what kind of emotion it evokes. Then, reach down.. grab your head phones and give a simultaneous listen..things can go from really scary to really funny.
Of course I am relieved that our fallen angel was not injured, the patrons were there to help and the train conductor acted so swiftly. But mostly, I just cant stop laughing.