Dear Facebook,
Please add “In a Wolf Pack with” as a relationship status.
Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Nyquil,
You were amazing last night. Who knew you could last so long?!
Sincerely, 12 hours later…

Dear Zebras,
It’s not our fault that you blend in with NOTHING.
Sincerely, predators.

Dear cold pizza,
You are my favorite breakfast, don’t tell Pop Tart.
Sincerely, hung-over.

More Dear Blank letters below

Dear officer,
No, my speech isn’t slurred. I’m just talking in cursive.
Sincerely, not as think as you drunk I am.

Dear Edward Cullen,
You stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original.
Sincerely, Peter Pan.

Dear Myspace, Twilight, Pirates and Yahoo,
Ha, ha. Yeah…
Sincerely, Facebook, Harry Potter, Ninjas, and Google.

Dear Osama,
Should’ve worn stripes…
Sincerely, Waldo.

Dear world,
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t hate homosexuals.
Sincerely, God.

Dear confused teenage girls,
If your boyfriend is sparkly and he doesn’t want to have sex with you, he’s not a vampire, he’s just gay.
Sincerely, reality.

Are you a new parent? Or has someone in your family recently had a child? If so you are going to need a quick crash course on how to properly treat and take care of a baby. Here is a hilarious collection of techniques on how to be an adult parent instead of ways you would probably take care of it.

Many more hilarious instructions below

The Dick in a box and Mother Fuckers guys are back, Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg that is. There third song is just as hilarious as the previous two called “Threeway” featuring Lady Gaga. The song lays down the rules of three-ways and explains the exception of having sex with another dude involved, it’s not gay if there’s a chick in between apparently.

This guy is trying to find a date, and I want to be 100% clear since we are helping him find a girl, HE IS NOT A MURDERER, so go head ladies, give this strapping young stud a chance, and we promise you wont get murdered.

Women have a weird way of saying one thing and meaning something completely different, so I think it would be beneficial to give our readers a head sup, because if you are not careful you can think you are doing everything right, when in actuality you are in a shitstorm.

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Not only is the human race slowly being overthrown by the hipster community but now even animals are becoming hipsters apparently according to artist Dyna Moe.

See more hilarious hipster animals below

Men and women are very different species, but we love each other, so we have to spend every single day with each other. For a lot of us there will be many many frustrating moments with your significant other, because they just don’t get it. Don’t you wish you can pack their bags and send them away to a school to learn the real dos and dont’s. Well here is a hilarious list of courses that should be taught to men and women, get your study on.

Courses for Women

(Taught by men, for women)

101 Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV

102 Doing Housework Without Complaining

103 Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge

104 Going to The Washroom Alone
(formerly Coping Without My Friends)

105 Understanding the Male Response to “Do I Look OK?”

106 Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother

107 Learning How to Initiate Intimacy

108 How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong

109 Understanding the Male Response to “Am I Fat?”

110 Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must

Many more course available for viewing below, as well as courses for men

111 The Toilet Seat: I Can Learn to Put It Down Too

112 Using the Thesaurus: Alternatives to “Make Love”

113 “The Weekend” and “Long Boring Walks” Are Not Synonymous

114 How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him

115 The Remote Control: Don’t Touch What You Can’t Handle

116 You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone

117 Honest, You Don’t Look Like Kim Bassinger – But You’re Acceptable

118 Hairspray: The Effects On The Ecosystem
(formerly One Can Is Enough)

119 Runs In Your Nylons? It’s Not the End of the World

120 Fishing: Being Able to Bait Your Own Hook

121 Intimacy: More Than Just Lying There

122 Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours

123 Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases

124 Makeup: The Less is More Theory

125 Nagging: Stop the Insanity!

Courses for Men

(Taught by women, for men)

101 Combating Stupidity

102 You Too Can Do Housework

103 P.M.S. – Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut

104 How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray

105 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas –
Give Us Money

106 Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk
At 4 AM

107 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
(Formerly “Don’t Wash My Silks”)

108 Parenting – No, It Doesn’t End With Conception

109 Get a Life – Learn How To Cook 110 How Not To Act Like a Butthead When You Are Obviously Wrong

111 Spelling – Even You Can Get It Right 112 Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

113 You – The Weaker Sex 114 Reasons To Give Flowers 1

15 How To Stay Awake After

116 Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom

117 Garbage – Getting It To the Curb

118A You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try

118B The Morning Dilemma – If It’s Awake, Take a Shower

119 The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous

120 How To Put The Toilet Seat Down

121 How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost

122 The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency

123 Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes

124 How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

125 You Too Can Be a Designated Driver

126 Honest, You Don’t Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked

127 Changing Your Underwear – It Really Works

128 The Attainable Goal – Omitting %@#*! From Your Vocabulary

129 Fluffing the Blankets After Farting is Not Necessary

130 Real Men Ask For Directions 131 How To Take Illness Like a Man

Here is a classic hilarious Craigslist posting from a man confronting the man his wife is cheating on him with. The original posting on craigslist can be seen here. You would think it would be a rage fueled rant, wanting to kill the guy, but instead it is a list of things to do, so both men can be happy, hilarious.

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

Hilariousness continues below

6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
mentaly challenged.

7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

8.When she asks “do these pants make me look fat”, say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.

Jim and Tracy from Today Now! welcome Chris Morgan, the kindergartener who wrote the latest action-packed “Fast And The Furious” sequel. As you can assume the movie was made exactly how this 5 year old envisioned it, cars, explosions, cars going fast, and great dialogue from Vin Diesel, hilarious.

Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of “Fast Five”

As a kid sometimes you hoped for a Scantron test because, while you might get the majority of questions wrong by simply blackening out every “C” on the sheet, at least you wouldn’t embarrass yourself with some asinine answers. While we’re glad our terrible answers are buried in an attic somewhere amongst action figures and Little League uniforms we’re pretty excited these ones aren’t. Richard Benson compiled 250 of the most hilariously bad shots in the dark ever in F in Exams. Whether they were honest attempts at squeaking out some points or were written with a smirk and a giant white flag in hand, we’re glad some youngsters took an F-bullet for our enjoyment. Buy it here for $10.