I’m not exaggerating when I say I have thought about buying a saddle for my dog so I can ride around town in style a billion times. Unluckily for me, riding a dog like a horse would be frowned upon by society and it probably wouldn’t be healthy for a 70 pound dog’s spinal cord. I also thought of how awesome it would be to be able to ride around on a rhinoceros or a fucking massive lion, luckily for us there is this solid collection of photos of people riding inappropriate animals that probably ended with them getting thrown off and mauled viciously, enjoy.
More inappropriate animal riding below
Let me start out by saying that the original video of the surfer’s get pitted interview is one of my all time favorite viral videos ever, and that is saying a lot, so when I heard the first seconds of this it was the best thing that happened to me all week followed by my first child being born on Monday. Seriously this is the best thing ever made, thank you internets. (O and for those people that have been living in a cave and you have no clue what the F this is, you might want to watch the original video first found here, then jump into the auto-tune awesomeness.)
With cars and airplanes and iPhones, it seems that the world we live in just keeps getting better and brighter (with the exception of a fledgling world economy, countries with less of a GNP than Apple, adult onset diabetes, cancer, US magazine, Swine Flu, etc.). But that’s not always the case when you really think about it. Sure, we don’t have to worry about the plague or invading Mongols, but sometimes I wish I did when compared to these tortuous modern activities.
7 Getting waited on at the Verizon store
Look, I know everybody has cell phones. I still can’t figure out how a company can have five stores in a three-mile radius and I still have to take a number and wait a half an hour before I can go through the long and complicated process of upgrading my phone without mysteriously having to update my current contract another seven years. I think you do it on purpose, Verizon.
That’s why while you’re taking your sweet time waiting on the blonde in the mini-skirt, I have gone around to every individual phone in your store set the alarms. The first five phones go off in increments of one minute. Then five minutes later another bank of phones go off in the same increments as the first group of phones. I leave the next bank with the alarms off to give you a false sense of security. And then two minutes later — all the alarms on the rest of the phones in the store go off at the same time.
6 Trying to leave the parking lot after a sporting event or concert
Is there anything more arduous and lawless than having than having to leave a professional sporting event race thousands of other people like out of a sports arena to a chilly car while crawling though hordes of ecstatic drunk people that you wish you were drunk as, but you’re too busy trying to escape the abyss of red lights and douchebags in Hummers cutting you off. And if you’re lucky enough to be driving a car full of people who are drunk and are screaming in your ear about going to Waffle House…this is why cabs were invented, guy. And don’t be afraid to make anyone walk home.
Charles Bronson, one of the most bad ass actors of all time, doing his daily duty to America, killing hipsters on the reg. “Turn that down hipster, no one wants to here your playlist.”
By now I have literally lost track of what post this is on regarding hilarious and ridiculous facebook statuses and posts, so 37 sounds like a good number. Here is another collection capturing the stupidity and funny moments on everyone’s favorite website, besides zoot, facebook.
There is a point early in all of our lives when we just aren’t developed enough to make certain decisions for ourselves. So, it’s up to our parents to make those decisions for us. Unfortunately, this includes the areas of style and grooming. And chances are if your mom thinks it’s cute, then you’re pretty much doomed. We’ve all been through it, so it’s up to us to protect the defenseless children growing up today. Here’s a list of some horrible haircuts that parents need to stop giving their children.
9 The Bowl Cut
Made popular for dorks everywhere by Moe from The Three Stooges, it’s hard to believe that this kids hairstyle is still making the rounds. The fact that this ‘do is prominently featured on Jim Carrey’s head in a film called Dumb & Dumber should be reason enough for parents to turn to any other possible style before this one. Plus, if your kid is fat, it just looks like he got his head stuck while licking the butter from the bottom of a popcorn bowl.
Sometimes demotivating posters are just as effective as motivational posters and here is a decent collection of some good ones for your time killing enjoyment.
Check a bunch more out below
So we stumbled upon a pretty hilarious website that specializes in highlighting the classic fraternity brothers of all time, with ridiculous photos and nicknames. If you aren’t a frat guy fan, one thing you have to give them credit for is there drunken party mode that is just funny. Here is a collection of some of the best but you can check out the site here.
more classic frat bros below
#1 You post too often about unimportant stuff. This was actually the single biggest reason for unfriending. And I completely agree. I can always hide someone who posts their daily banalities so they don’t show up in the news feed. (And that goes double for you, new parents.)
But the only time I’ve ever unfriended someone was when a guy who was barely an acquaintance sent out an event invitation… and then sent harassing messages twice a day trying to get hundreds of people to RSVP.
I think this one also has to encompass all of the Facebook quizzes. Even if the cereal mascot riding a vehicle that best fits your personality is the Trix Rabbit on a speedboat, I just can’t see that being relevant to all of your virtual “friends.”
#2 You regularly post about polarizing topics. Like politics or religion. (Or, I assume, magnets.)