It’s that time of the year again: You’re prepping to spend way too much time with the kin, maybe traveling across country to see them, and stressing the hell out about getting non-repulsive gifts for your loved ones. And if you have a special lady friend in your life, you may also be doubting every swipe of your credit card (or cricket sound coming from your bank account). Because there’s already way too much pressure on you, here are some tips on what to avoid getting your girl for the holidays, along with some gift ideas that will surely induce hugs and, “You’re so sweet(s)!”

7 Workout Equipment

This one’s kind of a duh, as it’s an annual sitcom-husband screw up during every Christmas special. She’ll take it as a hint she’s fat, blah blah blah. No matter how much she talks about wanting those Shape Up shoes, don’t give in (they’re garbage, anyway). Exception: A super cute yoga mat if she’s a Pilates or yoga enthusiast. The ones at the gym are gross.

6 Any Kitchen-esque Gear

This category includes not only waffle makers and Day-Glo colored mixers, but also Fruit of the Month Clubs and bottles of liquor. (Unless you’re 16, a pint of liquor is not too thrilling, sorry.) Even if she’s a total foodie, anything falling into this realm is the opposite of personal. they may also interpret it as you telling them that you want cupcakes and quiches and they should be enthusiastic about making said snacks because the As Seen On TV-cupcake/quiche-making contraption is pink. Exception: A couples cooking class or out-of-the-ordinary fancy-schmancy dinner. they’ll also eat their faces off and get liquored up, it’ll just be not douche-y.
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Ahhh the tough question we all come to face, should we or should we not accept our parent’s friend request? It is a tough decision to make but believe that if you do accept a few things are bound to happen. They will probably comment on everything you post or do. They will also probably put up embarrassing baby pictures and tag the shit out of you in them. They will also not understand your friends humor whatsoever, so when your friend comments on your wall about wacking an 8 ball of coke and hunting for hookers down in Atlantic City, they probably won’t see the sarcasm or humor in it at all. The choice is yours but here are some prime examples of parents being awkward on their kids facebook.

more awkward parent facebook comments below
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Let me get this straight… No black dudes, no Kool-Aid, and I can’t even pull my penis out? What kind of LAN party is this?

If you are not familiar with the “Meanwhile in…” meme, pretty much it is just stereotyping at it’s best while letting you know what crazy shit is going on in other countries. I am proud to let everyone in the world know that meanwhile in America there is a 900 pound guy riding on a scooter. No need to check out cnn to find out what’s going on in the world, just look at these pictures and that is all you need to know.

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So you are probably asking yourself how exactly you run hurdles like a boss. Well the answer to that is you don’t jump over them, you realize you can not jump them so after the second hurdle you just start plowing through them like the Hulk on cocaine, aka this guy below. I’m not sure what the penalty is for not cleanly jumping the hurdle but I would assume you are docked some time, this guy didn’t seem to care, HILARIOUS. Not to be out done by this chick who we covered a while back, at least she attempted to keep jumping. None the less equally as awesome. Note: I love how towards the end after almost falling he just decides to run in the other guys lane not giving a shit about himself or anyone else on the track, this guy truly is a boss.

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So last night one of our readers asked me to do a post on the Shit Brix meme, or bricks however you prefer. If you are not familiar with the popular trend basically it is a picture with a hidden image or something that will take you a while to find or figure out, but when you do you shit bricks, figuratively of course. I wondered why this kid didn’t just google them, but then I remembered that everything posted on zootpatrol turns into magical jelly bean eye candy that can cure cancer and make the blind see again, so it makes sense. So here is your shit brix post, the things we do for our readers. P.S. some are pretty obvious and you will find them quick, but others I guarantee you will have trouble with, in case I have numbered them starting with the one below, if you can’t figure it out leave us on comment on here, or you can leave a comment on our facebook, good luck.

1.

2.

more brick shitting pictures below.
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I’m not saying this guy is a crack head, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say he isn’t a suit and tie 9 to 5 kind of guy either. Mixed in with that this takes place in Detroit, the most depressing, fast sinking city on Earth, I’m actually going to say that yes this is probably a crackhead getting it on and poppin on the Motor City streets, YOU JUST GOT SERVED!

In 2010 there was a lot to protest. The BP oil spill, Conan vs Leno, The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, The Ground Zero Mosque and Proposition 8 just to name a few. And with every protest you will find a joker, expressing their right to be funny, because that’s the American way. Most of the people protesting things should stop screaming with a dumb sign in their hand and actually do something constructive about resolving the problem they are protesting, shouting and holding a dumb sign doesn’t do much for you or anyone else besides being the most annoying people on Earth.

more funny protest signs below
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There is nothing wrong with attending a community college, I almost wish I went to a community college for two years to shave off $300,000 off my college loan debt. The thing about community college though is there is a shit load of kids there that either, a. don’t want to be there at all and can give two shits about the class, or b. the kids that are there are legit dumb as hell, then there is the rest of the normal kids that attend community college and find the humor in good ole community college. A website called Totalcommunitycollegemove.com allows people to post funny moments at community college that are total community college moves, aka TCCM. I have collected a bunch that I thought were pretty funny, but you can go to the website to see them all.

-My whole class passed the last exam so our teacher brought in candy canes for all of us. TCCM

more hilarious community college moves below
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