You have seen her before. Black stringy hair, pale skin, coke bottle glasses. She is greasy and wasted. Her nipples showing through her Urban Outfitter tank top. She smokes American Spirit cigarettes and thinks she is too fucking cool for school. You think to yourself “What would it take to fuck this chick?” ,”I’m not nearly as cool as her.” Think again!! She is actually very easy to manipulate into the face down, ass up position as long as you know the right things to say. Hipster sluts only care about parties and bullshit and getting ahead in the party scene. If you make her feeble mind think that you are cool and important you might even get to cum on her face and/or her anchor tattoos. Maybe even wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy.

10. Tell her you work at American Apparel and receive a super rad 50% discount.

Hipster sluts love skanky, overpriced clothing. American Apparel is the mecca of super cool, coochie hugging pants. Their advertisements look like a 13 year old girls first foray into porn and are the inspiration of hipster chicks facebook photos. If you tell her you can get her into the newest nylon scoop back pencil dress for less, you will definitely get her out of her gold lame pants right then and there.

9. Grow a mustache or a beard.

Facial hair. The golden ticket. If you have a burly beard or a creepy looking mustache chances are you will be giving free mustache rides to the whole Lower East Side. Bonus points if you wear a flannel shirt and look like a child molester.
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Here’s 15 pictures of douchebag hipsters who sit high on a pedestal, thinking all day of ways they are better than you. While I don’t mind some slight hipster style choices, there is a very fine line, and all these hipster crossed it about 50 times over. You would think at some point one of these dirts would look themselves in the mirror and know that they look like a dirty female skank from a bad 1980′s music video.

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Anyone can be a hipster… Even a baby. Although they are really victims of their parents’ fashion regimes, hipster babies are just as cute — if not cuter — than any other hipster, which isn’t hard since all hipsters look like dirty new age hippies who haven’t showered in 7 years.

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The Hells Angels might be the toughest gang on two wheels, but they ain’t the hippest.  Moped gangs are quickly taking that title.  I’m not talking about the suburban kids too young for a drivers license.  I’m talking about 20 somethings and young professionals by day, hipster peddlers by night.  Their not effiminate men riding scooters either.  They got ink, slug beers and have weird initiations just like other gangs.  According to what I’ve been finding about them they are just like any motorcycle gang without the emphasis on illegal activity.

Orphans Brooklyn NY (Courtesy wired.com)

Mopeds like scooters are on the rise because they are inexpensive transportation.  If I lived in a city I would definitely try to join up with them.   They throw rallys and ride in packs and seems super fun cruising around scaring people and making them laugh at the same time.

I don’t do too much ranting and raving, and I certainly don’t really have any pet peeves. I truly believe that every single person is entitled to make their own decisions, and be themselves. No one should be scared to dress a certain way, listen to any style of music, or express their opinions. But recently, a trend has been on the rise, and it makes my skin crawl. Generation Y is taking this concept or thought of “being yourself” to the next level and they have spawned a new trend, where cool young things that we all loved as kids are finding their way to the front of the fashion line. From McDonalds to KFC to Lego’s, Brand Whores are taking logos, products, and memories from our childhood and trying to make them the next huge fashion crazy. It really hurts to see some of my favorite toys, cartoons, or products I loved as a kid, as the center piece in some emo hipsters wardrobe. I’m pretty sure that the brands don’t mind though. Any opportunity to have their logos splashed about – irony, or no irony – is a chance to market.