So I seriously can’t remember the last time I went to the movies to see a horror flick. It’s been that long. I know why I haven’t. It’s because with the exception of a gore filled Rob Zombie film, The Ring, and The Sixth Sense there hasn’t been anything I would seriously pay to watch. Don’t get me wrong I can sit through even the cheesiest slasher flick, because no matter how cheesy, the filmakers usually stick to that age old slasher formula that always keeps your attention. In thinking about these flicks even more (it took about 2 secs of thinking) i broke it down to 2 essential parts that will create a great slasher flick. This aint rocket science, most us know this already. Lets a take a look at the 2 key parts to this slasher flick formula.
PART 1) The tits and asses of D level actresses who moved to LA because they knew showing their TnA would get them something. Well thanks for a following a dream babes because slasher flicks leading ladies and their bodies never disapoint.
PART 2) Giving viewers the chance to watch the deuchiest of doosh abercrombie american eagle rich frat boy faget getting slaughtered by some psycho who has the same instant dislike we all get just from looking at those kind of dudes. This helps emotionally connect us to the film. We all can relate.
The new Friday the 13th used both these parts perfectly. For me and I’m sure most who have seen it, this meant that i walked out thinking that the movie kinda sucked but upon further pondering realized it was actually kind of entertaining.
Though not a true remake of the original this new version of Jason Voorhees and his victims does a decent job of referencing the first two films, especially the ending. We are back at crystal lake and the machete slashing gets off to a quick start. The plot is of course weak, but like i said, as long as you realize thats not what your watching it for, you will be entertained. Don’t expect it to be as a good as the Texas Chainsaw remake either b/c of the director, its not even close. I must say that Jason’s killing techniques are better than ever, i mean a naked girl in a sleeping bag hanging over an open fire is definitley creative. Conversely this film had a lot of good jokes too, more so than any slasher movie i have ever seen, and they were actually good for the most part. Plus Willa Ford has some excellent scenes you will surely want to see, D level actress type shit us dudes are captivated by. All in all i wouldn’t recommend paying to see this movie like i did, but def worth a viewing. Check out the trailer and figure it out for yourself.
Buy the original, filmed in Blairstown, Jersey botches! Friday the 13th Uncut [Blu-ray]