Please excuse my excessive posting on facebook bashing but I finally took my own advice and deleted my account a couple weeks ago. At first I was kinda having withdrawals, I am not going to lie, but after I have read the Bible, every volume of the Britannica Dictionary collection, and every Time Magazine ever printed, I have noticed my time is being used a little better now.
I think by now we have all been to a few interviews in your lives before, and we can all agree it is usually nothing more then a complete waste of time. I mean if I go to an interview and get the typical what is your greatest weakness, or where do you see yourself in 5 years, then I really don’t want to work for that person anyway. Clearly they don’t want to get to know me because everyone has prescripted answers for all those terrible questions. So here is the truth in the 6 crappiest interview questions brought to you by the always hilarious oatmeal.
Check out the rest below.
The Super Bowl is more than a championship football game – it’s an All-American celebration that wouldn’t be complete without a good party. Just like you can count on a “sexy cop” to show up at a Halloween party, you can count on this dirty dozen annoying and obnoxious individuals to be at your next Super Bowl bash.
1. The Degenerate Gambler
It’s easy to mistake this guy’s intense enthusiasm as a sign of how of big this game is, but really it’s because this fascinating specimen has two large riding on just the coin toss. In between sweating over keeping up with his three different betting squares, he’ll be worried if his inside tip on the NFC’s Gatorade color preference comes through. Can later be seen on his phone with his bookie in an attempt to set up a triple parlay on the over/under on the number of beer commercials in the third, and which punter will have the higher punt yardage average.
2. Mr. “Have You Tried My Special Dip?
Can often be seen hounding anyone foolish enough to reach for the chips. This bon vivant was up at the crack of dawn chopping Applewood bacon while figuring out which form of cheddar will go into his 5-cheese blend. And he wants you to know it. To him, he created a godly gooey elixir worthy of praise; to you, he created cheese dip with a hint of sour cream.
Step 1: Do the exact opposite of everything Dom Mazzetti is about to tell you, or maybe follow his every word, I don’t know what ever gets you laid at the end of the night.
Here’s some new music from The Lonely Island featuring Nicki Minaj. John Waters also makes a cameo which is solid.
Are you sick of those over the top gym fees. Do you want to get in shape, but you don’t have any weights or time? Well you are in luck because a new workout is sweeping the nation, and the best part it’s FREE. Yes you heard that right, absolutely free. All you need to do is get a baby or small child and watch this short instructional video and you will be graced with the knowledge and exercises to get JACKED UP in no time. Wow that actually sounded pretty good, I should start advertising for workout programs.
We haven’t made fun of hipsters in a while here so I guess it’s about that time again. Here is a really popular internet meme, the hipster cat. If you are not familiar pretty much it is just a cat dressed up as a hipster with hilarious hipster sayings attached, pretty straight forward. Alright well good talk, enjoy the hipster cats, see you out there.
A bunch more of Hipster Cat below
I wanted to post this video last week but couldn’t get it to post onto the site, but this video is worth the late arrival. Mark Howell interviews Nick Prindell, an ex-Marine who lost his hands in Iraq. He wants to become an UFC fighter but the corporation is wrongfully not allowing him to compete due to his prosthetic hands.
Spoken word poet George Watsky spits some bars at breakneck speed over Busta Rhymes’ “Break Yo Neck“. What I find hilarious about this is that I bet half of the actual so called “rappers” in music today couldn’t write something this good if they took a week trying to. Especially if they were told they weren’t allowed to rap about guns, hoes, money, or cars. Enjoy the rhyme slaying, and you can also check out his website here for his poetry and other videos and information, good shit. Update after the jump as well, with Mac Lethal’s faster rapping skills.
UPDATE: Pale kid rapping faster below
1. Never under any circumstances should two men share an umbrella.
2. If a man has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it.
3. A man has to scratch what he has to scratch no matter the time or situation. Leave him alone. This applies to picking as well.
4. When you and another man are seeing a movie together a buffer zone of at least one seat must be maintained, even if the theater is sold out.
5. Any object thrown with fairly reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught. Must.
6. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.
7. Deny everything.
8. If whatever you’re doing does not satisfy you completely in 5 minutes, it’s really not worth it.
9. It’s not that crying isn’t manly, it is just that there is nothing to cry about.
10. If the question begins with “why,” the answer is “I don’t know.”
11. Women can do anything that men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny on purpose, reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, overseeing standards and practices, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with. (From the 10th episode of Tosh.0)
12. For a multitude of reasons, tanned people are not to be trusted.
Click below for the rest of the list continued.