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15 Simple Things Money Can’t Buy

27 May 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

1. Accidentally overhearing someone say nice things about you.

2. Laughing soo hard you don’t even make any noise.

3. Songs that bring you back to great moments in your life.

4. Those random good-hair days when you just feel beautiful or handsome.

5. Realizing you were smiling the entire time you were talking to someone, right after you hang up the phone.

6. Laughing hysterically with your friends, then pausing momentarily, looking at each other, and then laughing hysterically again.

7. Sleeping right next to someone you truly love.

8. A certain smell that instantly takes you back to another place or time in your life.

9. When the song on the radio ends right as you pull into the driveway.

10. The feeling you get when a group of friends all laugh really hard at one of your random jokes.

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To The Guy Doing My Wife

27 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Here is a classic hilarious Craigslist posting from a man confronting the man his wife is cheating on him with. The original posting on craigslist can be seen here. You would think it would be a rage fueled rant, wanting to kill the guy, but instead it is a list of things to do, so both men can be happy, hilarious.

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

Hilariousness continues below

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50 Things Everyone Should Know

22 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

1. The word “queue” is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.

2. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.

3. Of all the words in the English language, the word ‘set’ has the most definitions!

4. What is called a “French kiss” in the English speaking world is known as an “English kiss” in France.

5. “Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

6. “Rhythm” is the longest English word without a vowel.

7. In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child

8. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off!Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

9. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath

10. There is a city called Rome on every continent.

11. It’s against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland!

12. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!

13. Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals was throughout his life, never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness.

14. The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London

15. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people

List continues below
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Collection Of The Worst Eyebrows On Earth

11 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Ahhh eyebrows, what the he’ll are they even on our face for, to block sweat from running into our eyes, really? Well even though I think they are useless I have pretty decent eyebrows so I don’t mind having them. For some unfortunate people though eyebrows need a lot of maintenance and care, especially for women. Now ladies we appreciate you trimming and making your brows look neat and presentable, but there is a line, and lately a lot of you have been crossing it more and more. And as for guys, just leave them alone you are only going to make it worse. Here is a solid collection of ridiculous and absurd eyebrows from men and women, enjoy.

Many many more hilarious eyebrowing losahssss below
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Stop Complaining, Gas Isn’t That Expensive

08 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments


(click to enlarge to full-size)

A lot of people complain about the prices of gas and that we are only in Iraq to get oil so the rich can get richer, well I hate to break it to you politician majors but gas is not really that expensive when comparing it to the rest of the dumb shit you have no problem buying every single day without hesitation. Although it was sweet when gas was a dollar a gallon and I was able to fill up my dope 1992 4 door chevy cavalier for ten bucks, at car got me more butt then ashtrays…… Not.

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Zoot’s 2011 Summer Festival Guide

08 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Making the trek to catch a major music festival can be the highlight of any long summer. Millions of music fans across a variety of genres make their yearly pilgrimages in order to catch some great live tunes, use some seriously overworked porta-potties, and, if they’re lucky, have a topless girl sit on their shoulders.

Sound like fun? Well then here are some of the largest, most riotous music festivals of the smoldering 2011 summer season. (If you can think of other worthwhile shows that I’ve omitted, please share them in the comments section.)

Coachella (April 15th – 17th)

In the middle of the brutal California dessert, there is a rock oasis that goes by the name Coachella. Celebrating 12 years of showcasing the biggest acts in music, Coachella has become one of the biggest festivals in the U.S. with over 220,000 attendees at last year’s show.

Not just aurally pleasing, the concert site also features interactive art works and captivating displays. The festival promoters are also making attempts to reduce the show’s carbon footprint by offering special prizes to groups of 4 or more who carpool. (But keep in mind the average temperature is 100 degrees in the shade so pack LOTS of deodorant). This year the Strokes, Kanye West, and Arcade Fire (along with a hundred more major acts) will light up the festival’s five major stages.
Coachella.com

Bonnaroo (June 9th – 12th)

Named one of the “50 Moments That Changed Rock & Roll” by Rolling Stone Magazine, Bonnaroo is one of the largest and most musically diverse festivals in the United States. Held on a farm in Manchester, Tennessee, Bonnaroo (which is Creole slang for “good stuff”) hosts major acts in genres from indie rock, hip hop, bluegrass, and Americana. Last year an estimated 80,000 people attended the four-day multi-stage festival.

The festival sprawls out, creating a 100-acre city that includes a comedy tent, beer festival, carnival rides, and even a nightly silent disco which allows patrons to dance the night away to synched up headphones while not violating local noise-ordinances. (How considerate.)
Bonnaroo.com

Continue below for many more festivals you should check out this summer
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Breaking Down Winners Vs Losers

05 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

There has been a lot of talk about “winning” lately from a few maniacs out there but what is the difference between winning and losing, between winners and losers most importantly is the question. Here is a breakdown of what it means to be a winner, and to be a loser, which category do you fall into that is the question. I am getting the feeling a lot of losers are reading this, pysch only winners read zoot, that is a fact. WINNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem.

The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says, “Let me do it for you”;
The Loser says, “That is not my job.”

The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner says, “It may be difficult but it is possible”;
The Loser says, “It may be possible but it is too difficult.”

When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, “I was wrong”;
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”

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The 6 Best Beer Festivals In America

01 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

When it comes to beer everyone and their mother refers to Oktoberfest as the place to be. Granted there’s no question that Oktoberfest is probably the single coolest drinking festival in the world, that doesn’t mean we don’t have our own parties here in the USA.

You’d be surprised at how much this country celebrates beer other than at fraternity parties and tailgating events. We have a strong affinity and respect for beer and some regions like to show it proudly.

Check out these 6 awesome beer festivals….

1. The World Beer Festival

If you happen to be in the Raleigh, North Carolina area you might want to check out the World Beer Festival. Oddly enough it’s a charity event (for which charity I have no idea) that showcases over 300 Southeast specialty beers from 150 national and international breweries. Get your drink on.

2. Belgium Comes to Cooperstown

You had me at Cooperstown. First of all, any excuse to get to Cooperstown is cool enough. Second of all, held on a Saturday in July, the Belgium comes to Cooperstown features over 200 Belgian style beers that visitors can sample. Plus you can dance around a bonfire!

The rest of the drunken festivals continues below
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50 Easy April Fool’s Day Pranks

01 Apr 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

April Fool’s Day is one of the best days of the year. On no other day are you “legally” allowed to play jokes and pranks on your friends, family and co-workers and have a built-in excuse. Well last year we gave you a simple, yet awesome list of 5 simple pranks to pull on your friends, seen here for refreshment. Some people will go to great lengths to pull off elaborate gags on those around them but sometimes it’s just as fun to play smaller, simpler pranks on as many people as possible throughout the day. That’s where we come in. Here are 50 pranks you can play on people with very little effort, yet still reap much joy out of the end results. (And be sure to add your own great April Fool’s Day gags in the comments so we have even more ideas!)

50. Borrow someone’s cell phone and change the language setting to a foreign language.
49. Change the language for Google on someone’s computer.
48. Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
47. Swap the signs on the men’s and ladies’ rest rooms.
46. Hide scented air fresheners all over someone’s office.
45. Add food coloring to milk that comes in a cardboard container.
44. Add food coloring to the windshield washer fluid of someone’s car.
43. Switch around random keys on someone’s keyboard who isn’t a very good typist.
42. Switch the Push and Pull signs on a set of doors.
41. Hide food in a trash can and when someone comes by grab some and eat it.
40. Replace Oreo cream-filling with toothpaste and offer one to someone.
39. Dip the tips of someone’s cigarettes in Orajel so their lips will go numb.
38. Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
37. Cup some water in your hand and pretend to sneeze on the back of someone’s head.
36. Take something from someone’s office and leave them a ransom note.
35. Add several odd appointments with alarms set to go off during the day to a co-worker’s Outlook calendar.
34. Hide all of the desktop icons on someone’s computer and replace the monitor’s wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
33. Put a “Please Use Other Door” sign on the entrance to your office building if it only has one entrance.
32. Put a balloon on the tailpipe of a someone’s car so it will pop when they start their car.
31. Glue the headset of someone’s phone down to the cradle.
30. Take the door knob off a door and put it back on backwards, then lock it and leave the door open.

The rest of the list below, start pranking.
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Top 10 Worst College Hazing Rituals

21 Mar 2011, written by Revelation 0 Comments

1. Raped by a Sharpie Marker

No, this isn’t the kind of ” Sharpie Rape ” you see in most schools that really just means getting marked on by a Sharpie (a permanent marker) unexpectedly. This is actual, sexual, penetration; using a Sharpie. In 2002, seven football players from Methodist College in North Carolina were arrested on hazing charges for restraining a freshman, stripping him of his underwear, writing all over his butt and smacking it numerous times. The worst part is that to “seal the deal”, as it were, the player with the most ironic position-name, Antonio Wilkerson (wide receiver for the team) sexually assaulted the freshman athlete with a Sharpie marker after everything had been said and done. He, along with the other Methodist players involved, were suspended after their November 14 arrests and did not partake in the team’s final game; unfortunately because getting benched, or even sitting down, was probably the last thing on the victim’s mind.

2. Cocaine or Dildo: Your Choice

Sororities are just as sexually cruel, if not infinitely moreso, than Fraternities. Looking at this list, it’s apparent that the women in Sororities are more interested in emotional and social humiliation than the males. Males tend to angle towards the physical feats of strength or disgustingness. Both (freely) exercise public humiliation, but the levels of both differ and definitely run deeper in female circles. FOR EXAMPLE…

The Hazing Prevention Center, one of the leading non-profit organizations working to eradicate hazing, receives hundred of emails from traumatized victims of sorority and fraternity hazing. One e-mail was from a girl who reported that she had to either use a dildo in front of all her “sisters” or take a hit of cocaine. So it’s either your morals… or your morals? Or your common sense vs… your common sense? It’s a toss-up, but an elicit drug that can cause permanent brain damage and is HIGHLY illegal or sexual, social, public humiliation? Which would you choose?

See more reasons below why joining a frat or sorority is the funnesttttttttt
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