I don’t think it is to anyone surprise that I rank at the top of the ladder in all aspects because I’m a man baby. Check out all the descriptions and figure out how lame or rad you really are when stacked up against the rest of the worlds men.

The rest below

Ahhh eyebrows, what the he’ll are they even on our face for, to block sweat from running into our eyes, really? Well even though I think they are useless I have pretty decent eyebrows so I don’t mind having them. For some unfortunate people though eyebrows need a lot of maintenance and care, especially for women. Now ladies we appreciate you trimming and making your brows look neat and presentable, but there is a line, and lately a lot of you have been crossing it more and more. And as for guys, just leave them alone you are only going to make it worse. Here is a solid collection of ridiculous and absurd eyebrows from men and women, enjoy.

Many many more hilarious eyebrowing losahssss below

What is going on in Japan is horrible, there is no doubt about that and we are not being dicks. But honestly in 2 months no one will give a crap about the people still without homes or food in Japan. People are dying every day and no one cares, it is just how it works sadly.

]]> http://www.zootpatrol.com/index.php/2011/03/the-complete-guide-on-how-to-spot-a-liar/feed/ 0 http://www.zootpatrol.com/index.php/2011/03/america-is-addicted-to-porn-infographic/ http://www.zootpatrol.com/index.php/2011/03/america-is-addicted-to-porn-infographic/#comments Tue, 01 Mar 2011 15:51:56 +0000 Revelation http://www.zootpatrol.com/?p=31778

Are you addicted to pornography? Well guess what you aren’t alone, because from this infographic America likes porn, and they like it A LOT. Online Psychology Degree sent us this infographic chock full of facts and figures about porn addiction in America. Breaking news! America loves boobs! Don’t worry, it’s safe for work. In fact, according to the infographic, you’re probably looking at things far worse than this while at work.

More fun bizarre porno statistics below

So the weekend is here and that usually means one thing, getting drunk and partying. Well sadly I have work tomorrow and I am not going to be getting as drunk as this baby below, which is friggen hilarious. All babies are is little drunk people. They walk around wobbling all over the place, falling down, which usually leads to just crawling on the dirty floor. They touch everything in sight and if they don’t get it they start crying. Then they will usually sit there staring at a wall for 5 minutes and then puke all over them selves. Does this sound familiar? Yes, it is exactly how you acted last Friday night and you are about to do it again, CHEERS (For a better funnier explanation of this watch this video.). That is why I found this video so hilarious, a baby getting shitfaced and trashing a restaurant. When we as adults drink, we act like 1 year old babies, the irony of it is pure gold. Best part is when the baby coughs up the beans at 1:03, then smells and looks at the wine like she is going to war. This is a trailer for the short movie “Las Palmas” by Johannes Nyholm.

No this is not a Back to the Future project starring Marty McFly and Doc Brown. It is a photography project by Irina Werning who is a professional photographer from Buenos Aires. She explains on her site that she is totally obsessed with old photographs, so when she would visit other people’s houses she would immediately be drawn to the old photographs hanging on the wall. When looking at the pictures she would think what that person would look like in the same pose, same outfit, and same scene. Well she actually started doing it and it is pretty amazing and awesome. She admits the is a little obsessive on the detail, but that is what makes these photographs so great. For more of her work and more on this project you can check out her website found here. (As always click on the image to enlarge.)

More amazing past vs present photographs below

Youtuber Damewse continues his one-man media makeover for the space agency with another beautifully edited video. The first one if you remember was called The Frontier Is Everywhere, seen here, and this is one is just as good if not better. The best part about the video is at the very end when it shows a graph depicting the world’s military spending vs space exploration spending, as you could guess the military spending is about 500 times as much. This video has some amazing footage, and even better commentary to make your brain think a little bit today.

Please excuse my excessive posting on facebook bashing but I finally took my own advice and deleted my account a couple weeks ago. At first I was kinda having withdrawals, I am not going to lie, but after I have read the Bible, every volume of the Britannica Dictionary collection, and every Time Magazine ever printed, I have noticed my time is being used a little better now.

The Super Bowl is more than a championship football game – it’s an All-American celebration that wouldn’t be complete without a good party. Just like you can count on a “sexy cop” to show up at a Halloween party, you can count on this dirty dozen annoying and obnoxious individuals to be at your next Super Bowl bash.

1. The Degenerate Gambler
It’s easy to mistake this guy’s intense enthusiasm as a sign of how of big this game is, but really it’s because this fascinating specimen has two large riding on just the coin toss. In between sweating over keeping up with his three different betting squares, he’ll be worried if his inside tip on the NFC’s Gatorade color preference comes through. Can later be seen on his phone with his bookie in an attempt to set up a triple parlay on the over/under on the number of beer commercials in the third, and which punter will have the higher punt yardage average.

2. Mr. “Have You Tried My Special Dip?
Can often be seen hounding anyone foolish enough to reach for the chips. This bon vivant was up at the crack of dawn chopping Applewood bacon while figuring out which form of cheddar will go into his 5-cheese blend. And he wants you to know it. To him, he created a godly gooey elixir worthy of praise; to you, he created cheese dip with a hint of sour cream.

3. Commercial Catch Phrase Guy
This asshat will latch on to the commercial catch phrase that got the most laughs and use it in conversation as much as possible for the entirety of the evening. In a few hours, the YouTube video is all over his Facebook wall, he’s already got the pre-order on the shirt, and an audio clip has become his voicemail message. WASSSUP indeed.

4. Guy Waaaay Too Into the Game
This life of the party will be plunked down, hunched over, and putting a permanent dent on the same couch cushion. If you attempt to engage him in conversation, at worst you’ll get a disgruntled rumble, at best a disinterested head nod. Clear away the coffee table in preparation for his inevitable explosive meltdown over a blown holding call.

5. The Overly Cutesy & Excited Football Fan Girl
Dressed to be easily noticed with her jersey tied up (for maximum midriff exposure) and color-coordinated, glittery eye black. In between shrill screams for every play over 5 yards, you’ll be privy to insightful observations on topics including the butts on most of the O-line, and how her ex was a fan of the opposing squad which is why she just LOVES her current team.

6. “They Spent $3,000,000 Dollars on That?!” Guy
This cache of little-cared-about information “overheard” (re: obsessively Googled for two weeks) the rate per 30 second spot for the annual fluff pieces that surround every Super Bowl. They will then proceed to ask the titular question after any spot that was even a bit obtuse or fell flat. Yeah man, you get the advertising game much more than an entire team of marketers. Go on ahead to Madison Avenue — you can have Don Draper’s old corner office.

7. The Guy Who is Still Amazed at HD
This guy will marvel at the grass stains on the uniforms, the vivid colors, the detail on the helmets, and the commentators’ make-up failing, which would be perfectly understandable… if this was 2006. Refer this ill-informed soul to his local HD cable provider and big box electronic retailer, you’ll be doing each other a favor.

8. “Football Players Aren’t as Tough as They Used to Be” Guy
Whenever a player goes down after a hit that doesn’t look rib shattering or after they strain a muscle, you can count on this hard individual to expound upon how much hardier the old leatherheads were than today’s overpaid prima donnas. Hate to break it to you, but Red Grange would probably not survive an open field tackle against Ray Lewis’ 4.5 40 time and 250 lb. frame.

9. Territorial Beer Guy
This selfish ass will act as sentry to his coveted imported six-pack for the entirety of the evening. Not only will he turn off all the other guests by shouting ownership whenever some unfortunate soul asks whose beers are crushing the deviled eggs, but he’ll also be taking his last two bottles home with him.

10. Guy Who Still Giggles at the ED Commercials
Dude: Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra have been on the market for the better part of 15 years. It is no longer acceptable to find the thinly veiled boner references hilarious. Although the fact that the resulting boner is so awesome it can possibly make you blind, and send you to the hospital, IS a little bit funny. But we don’t need to hear about it.

11. Guy Who Inexplicably Leaves During the Third Quarter
I understand that tomorrow is the start of a new workweek, and you have to get up early, but how can you devote three hours to watching one of the greatest sporting events of all time and not care how it ends? I bet you left before you found out Darth Vader was Luke’s father. I’m not sure whether I should be disappointed at your lack of interest, or envious of your complete apathy.

12. The “Shhh”-er
Silence can be golden. Especially in the case of an official’s review or even a particularly clever commercial. However, game or not, asking a house full of football fans to be silent at a party, while spraying spit everywhere with your constant shushing, makes you a prime candidate for having your head dunked in the dip. We’re fans. We yell at the screen.

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