Everyone is giving thanks for an array of different things today, one day early for some reason, from family to their awesome haircuts, but lets thank the star of the show, the animal that gets slaughtered by the billions today, it really is a mass genocide every year that everyone seems to be cool with, especially me, fuck turkeys. Let’s give thanks for conspicuous consumption with these ass and artery kicking turkeys. The Dunkin’ Donuts stuffed turkey may be the apex of Western Civilization. So here are the top 10 recipes you should prep your turkey for tomorrow’s feast.
1. The TurDunkin’
“Turkey brined in Dunkin Donuts coolattas, stuffed with munchkins and served with coffee gravy and mashed hash browns.” (From Unwholesome Foods)
2. Twelve Bird True Love Roast
“Contains 12 different kinds of bird: large turkey filled with goose, chicken, pheasant, aylesbury and barbary duck, poussin and guinea fowl, partridge, pigeon squab, quail and mallard duck.” (From This Is Why You’re Fat)