Collection Of The Worst Tans On Earth

20 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 12 Comments

I think we can all agree that everyone looks better with a tan, but just like anything else there is a point where it goes too far. In some of these cases it is just all about being in the sun wayyyyyy too long, which at least they are out and about, chilling on the beach having a good time, on the other hand some of these people spent way too long in the tanning bed and or caked on the self tanning lotion to a point it makes them look like an oompa loompa. Take this post as some advice, get a nice tan, but don’t go overboard unless you want to look like a clown, or get skin cancer and die.

More hilarious and ridiculous tans below.
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Late Night Humor: The Greatest Madden Commentator Of All-Time

19 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Here is a hilarious video of some guy commentating his final play of an online Madden game against a guy named Gumby. He not only gives step by step action, but he goes into the mind of the Packer’s receiver Greg Jennings. Looks like Monday Night Football has a new commentator. And if you wanted another classic commentary on a video game, check this one out.

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Good Reads: Decoded By Jay-Z

19 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Featuring one of Andy Warhol’s Rorschach paintings on the cover, Hov’s first book takes an intimate look at 36 songs from his deep-ass catalog by providing insight from the man himself into some of his more provocative and memorable lyrics. He says:

When I first started working on this book, I told my editor that I wanted it to do three important things. The first was to make the case that hip-hop lyrics—not just my lyrics, but those of every great MC—are poetry if you look at them closely enough. The second was I wanted the book to tell a little bit of the story of my generation, to show the context for the choices we made at a violent and chaotic crossroads in recent history. And the third piece was that I wanted the book to show how hip-hop created a way to take a very specific and powerful experience and turn it into a story that everyone in the world could feel and relate to.

Here he is speaking on his recently released “Most Kings”

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Gnarley BMX Freestyling Of Tim Knoll

19 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

This video brings me back to the glory days of watching the movie Rad pretty much every day, especially the Send Me An Angel scene which was classic. I wish Bart Taylor and the Reynolds twins would crash the next party I’m at riding their bikes through the place just destroying everything while the Reynolds twins do their famous cock pushup move on the girl I’m trying to hit on. Anyway, check this video of Tim Knoll on his BMX ripping it up, gnarley stamp of approval on this one.

Tim Knoll BMX from tim knoll on Vimeo.

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The 10 Biggest Ripoffs In America

19 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Many of us feel ripped off in our day to day spending, so much so that bringing up even a single rip-off story in a group of people is likely to trigger a flood of them from everyone else. Whether it’s at the movies, in restaurants or on vacation, we seldom believe we are getting as much for our money as we ought to. Of course, some rip-off stories are more debatable than others. Often times, what is called a rip-off is little more than someone’s subjective opinion of what they “really” deserve for their money, whatever that means. However, other purchases actually do appear, by all objective criteria, to be a raw deal just about all the time.

10. Movie Theater Popcorn

Movie theater popcorn is as much an American icon as baseball and apple pie. Like a moth to its flame, movie-goers instinctively load up on hot, buttery popcorn before sitting down to enjoy the show. It’s hard to imagine things being any other way. That being said, movie theater popcorn is without question one of the biggest, most egregious rip-offs around. ABC News reported in July 2008 that a small bucket of movie theater popcorn will run you “around $5.50 — more per ounce than filet mignon.” University of California-Irvine professor Richard McKenzie, who wrote a book on this very subject, conjectures that popcorn costs less than ten cents an ounce to produce. That makes the markup somewhere between 900%-1,300%! The reason appears to be that movie theaters do not make much money on actual ticket sales.
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Tilt-Shift Coachella 2010

18 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Photographer Sam O’Hare makes all the attendees at this year’s Coachella festival look really, really tiny, courtesy of the now familiar tilt-shift lens – used to perfect effect in this setting.

Words from the director:
“I wanted to portray a unique view of the incomparable Coachella experience. Following the crowds in the sunshine from arrival, camping, exploring the art in the arena, all the way through to the headliners at night, this film brings a miniature feel to this huge festival. For more information about how it was done, please check the Aero Film blog post here.

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New Study Shows Americans Get Majority Of Exercise While Drunk

18 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

By now you obviously know that the Onion is a fake news station, but their stuff is golden. There latest report explains how the majority of Americans get most of their exercise while drunk, and it actually makes a lot of sense. When you’re shitfaced you tend to dance like an animal thinking your moves are Michael Jacksonish, you do pull up and push up contests in the street, and in general run around like an idiot. Just about every time I am on the subway coming home from New York chances are there is at least one drunk douche doing pull ups while bombed, usually it’s one of my friends.

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Extreme Microcosmos Close Up Photography

18 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Microcosmos takes us into a secret world of extreme close-ups. Some subjects have been magnified by as much as 22 million times. The pictures are really fantastic and make you think these pictures were taken on another planet of alien life, pretty gnarley to see the creatures that crawl all over your body.

More gross alien life form below.
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The 10 Most Awesome Facebook Ownings

15 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Facebook: it’s a dangerous place. When Mark Zuckerberg wiped his ass with the privacy settings, thousands of people found themselves sharing things they never wanted to share. And with oversharing comes serious ownage. Here’s 10 of the most vicious Facebook ownings I’ve ever witnessed. (some we have posted here before, but for the good of the list they had to be included again.) Have a good weekend zooters PARTY ONNNNNN.

10 Balls of Steel
You have to have balls of steel to cap a guy on Facebook after banging his girlfriend. You can just see the steam shooting out of Mark’s ears at this.

9 Revoke her PETA membership
This girl set herself up so hard with this it’s not even funny.

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I Want That! Marty McFly 2015 Gear

15 Oct 2010, written by Revelation 0 Comments

Back to the Future 2 is back on zootpatrol, and the awesomeness continues. Now is your chance to own the actual gear used by Marty McFly including the resizing jacket, the 2015 Nike Mag shoes, and the freakin actual Delorean, wow. www.profilesinhistory.com is a very well known auction website, that features authentic stuff from your favorite movies and t.v. shows, and this time they are auctioning off BTTF swag. If you are even thinking about taking one of these bad boys home, you better be bringing your check book because they aint going to be cheap. I really wish I could roll to Rucker Park and get into a pick up game rocking the Marty mcFly 2015 Nikes, then go on to getting dunked on, shit on, and thrown off the court.

Screen-used “resizing” 2015 jacket
Estimated Value: $25000 – $50000

Check all the other gear below.
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