This guy is trying to find a date, and I want to be 100% clear since we are helping him find a girl, HE IS NOT A MURDERER, so go head ladies, give this strapping young stud a chance, and we promise you wont get murdered.
This is pretty much how I wake up for work every morning, so I dont really know what all of the fuss is about.
Women have a weird way of saying one thing and meaning something completely different, so I think it would be beneficial to give our readers a head sup, because if you are not careful you can think you are doing everything right, when in actuality you are in a shitstorm.
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.
The Lonely Island guys do it again, and in the process revive Michael Boltons career with some hilarious hooks.
Not only is the human race slowly being overthrown by the hipster community but now even animals are becoming hipsters apparently according to artist Dyna Moe.
See more hilarious hipster animals below
Men and women are very different species, but we love each other, so we have to spend every single day with each other. For a lot of us there will be many many frustrating moments with your significant other, because they just don’t get it. Don’t you wish you can pack their bags and send them away to a school to learn the real dos and dont’s. Well here is a hilarious list of courses that should be taught to men and women, get your study on.
Courses for Women
(Taught by men, for women)
101 Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV
102 Doing Housework Without Complaining
103 Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge
104 Going to The Washroom Alone
(formerly Coping Without My Friends)
105 Understanding the Male Response to “Do I Look OK?”
106 Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother
107 Learning How to Initiate Intimacy
108 How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong
109 Understanding the Male Response to “Am I Fat?”
110 Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must
Many more course available for viewing below, as well as courses for men
Here is a classic hilarious Craigslist posting from a man confronting the man his wife is cheating on him with. The original posting on craigslist can be seen here. You would think it would be a rage fueled rant, wanting to kill the guy, but instead it is a list of things to do, so both men can be happy, hilarious.
To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?
5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
Hilariousness continues below
Jim and Tracy from Today Now! welcome Chris Morgan, the kindergartener who wrote the latest action-packed “Fast And The Furious” sequel. As you can assume the movie was made exactly how this 5 year old envisioned it, cars, explosions, cars going fast, and great dialogue from Vin Diesel, hilarious.
We all do it. We walk out of a store, stare up at the logo, and think to ourselves “F this place, what they should really be calling themselves is McDiabetes. I feel like shit!” A companies logo really is how they are perceived by the general public, and if they arent careful, Viktor Hertz will call you out and let you know how people really view you and your damn logo. All of these are pretty spot on, and I agree with all of these altercations except the Ferrari one. I dont care how big or small people thought my unit was. If I had the means, I would most certainly buy a Ferrari, take it onto the Turnpike in the middle of the night, and go out in a blaze of glory while doing 200 miles per. Real talk.
As a kid sometimes you hoped for a Scantron test because, while you might get the majority of questions wrong by simply blackening out every “C” on the sheet, at least you wouldn’t embarrass yourself with some asinine answers. While we’re glad our terrible answers are buried in an attic somewhere amongst action figures and Little League uniforms we’re pretty excited these ones aren’t. Richard Benson compiled 250 of the most hilariously bad shots in the dark ever in F in Exams. Whether they were honest attempts at squeaking out some points or were written with a smirk and a giant white flag in hand, we’re glad some youngsters took an F-bullet for our enjoyment. Buy it here for $10.