Anyone contemplating which profession to enter or perhaps considering a career change should take note. A study was recently published revealing which professions are having the most sex. Considering the amount of 20-somethings dressed up for Halloween every year as sexy nurses, teachers, and librarians, learning that these three jobs were among the professions getting laid the least was surprising at first. Sadly, research shows that reality does not live up to our costumed fantasies. Not so shockingly, truck drivers were also reportedly among the group not getting much action. Here are the top 5 that are getting lucky the most:
#5 Call Center Operator
Seemingly obscure, this isn’t one that pops into mind as being particularly sexy. The stereotype is more along the lines of isolated techno geeks who spend their day staring at the computer through thick-rimmed glasses. Maybe their customer service training has actually paid off by translating to better performance in bed – they answer all your questions, solve all your problems, and most importantly don’t give up until the customer is thoroughly satisfied. Though their job may be dull, it seems their sex lives are far from it.
You have seen her before. Black stringy hair, pale skin, coke bottle glasses. She is greasy and wasted. Her nipples showing through her Urban Outfitter tank top. She smokes American Spirit cigarettes and thinks she is too fucking cool for school. You think to yourself “What would it take to fuck this chick?” ,”I’m not nearly as cool as her.” Think again!! She is actually very easy to manipulate into the face down, ass up position as long as you know the right things to say. Hipster sluts only care about parties and bullshit and getting ahead in the party scene. If you make her feeble mind think that you are cool and important you might even get to cum on her face and/or her anchor tattoos. Maybe even wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy.
10. Tell her you work at American Apparel and receive a super rad 50% discount.
Hipster sluts love skanky, overpriced clothing. American Apparel is the mecca of super cool, coochie hugging pants. Their advertisements look like a 13 year old girls first foray into porn and are the inspiration of hipster chicks facebook photos. If you tell her you can get her into the newest nylon scoop back pencil dress for less, you will definitely get her out of her gold lame pants right then and there.
9. Grow a mustache or a beard.
Facial hair. The golden ticket. If you have a burly beard or a creepy looking mustache chances are you will be giving free mustache rides to the whole Lower East Side. Bonus points if you wear a flannel shirt and look like a child molester.
O.K. chances are your girlfriend hasn’t dated every single one of these kind of guys, and if she has you are officially dating a whore, but these are your typical past competition. For your sake you better hope your girlfriend didn’t date a doctor because I’m sure your Stop and Shop pay checks aren’t impressing her socks off if you know what I mean.
It’s really weird to think of how historical figures or other celebs would act and use their facebook pages back in the day. Especially with every pro athlete and famous figure using twitter, the news loves it because they get to quote ridiculous things that come out of their mouth. Here are some classic events in history that are documented by facebook, because everything that happens in life has to be posted on facebook, everyone knows that.
If you didn’t know by now, the Dos Equis, Most Interesting Man, ad campaign has been a big hit. I personally am a big fan of it as well, taking a little of the Chuck Norris concept and applying it to this guy who is the coolest, it’s funny. Of course the internet has savagely attacked the ad and turned it into a circus with people making up there own catch phrases for the Interesting Man. Here is a collection of the best ones that are brutally truthful, hilarious. (Note: the shark week tag line ran rampant on the internet before it made it to the actual commercials on t.v., showing that companies actually do listen to idiots on the internet.)
I will be honest this comment is very long, so I was very reluctant to read it at first, but I gave it a try. As soon as I started reading it I knew I was in for a treat and it didn’t disappoint. I don’t know what kind of drugs this kid was on when he started shooting this story out of his ass, but I really think it was genius in a weird sick way. So kick your feet up and enjoy this magical story, which derived from a simple status question on someones facebook.
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In viral marketing for the movie The Last Exorcism due out August 27th, the girl from the movie took to Chatroulette, everyone’s favorite place, to give some pervert guys looking to score some boobs a shock of a life time. The best part about these reactions is how excited they are to be seeing some boob, ears perked up, eyes wide open, just waiting, but instead of boobs they get an exorcism, classic. That’s what you get perverts.
When you think of ways to use a hooker one thing comes to mind, sex. Now while hookers are great to use for sex they can also be used in many other ways, and if your paying good money to use them why not get your moneys worth. Here are 5 super neat ways to use hookers illustrated by the oatmeal.
If a newspaper needs to raise the number of its readers, here’s a nice idea. All the announcements must be published honest. Because in all honesty no one gives a shit about two people getting married especially when everyone knows it’s going to end within 2 years with a nasty divorce. If the newspaper published wedding announcements like this I would be the first person to get a 80 year subscription just to laugh my ass off every morning. Below are 5 premium examples.
Like many I am a rap fan, or hip-hop, whatever you want to call it. I think everyone knows by now that rap has become accepted in the music industry and is bigger then rock and roll in some peoples eyes. The thing I have against rap these days is there is a bunch of no talent idiots who tend to just rap about cars, women, and money, hell I could make a list of ridiculous Lil Wayne lyrics that will have you laughing your ass off (I’ll make a post on that topic soon). But below are some very highly respected, and rich rappers in the game today, that still say some awkward and terrible lines from time to time, here are 10 that come to mind.
Jay-Z – $63 Million
Diddy – $30 Million